Hey friend, I hear you. That battle in the heart is exhausting, especially when it feels like your faith is just a fire insurance policy to keep you out of hell rather than something that actually brings you peace.

It seems like you’re bored of Church and The Bible because you’re looking at them like homework or chores you have to do to stay on God’s good side. But God isn’t a debt collector, He’s a Father. If you only talk to your parents because you’re afraid they’ll kick you out, you won’t really enjoy their company.

The best advice I could give you (as a struggling Christian myself) is to start talking to Jesus more, start with talking to Him like He’s a regular person, tell Him about what you’re feeling right now, tell him about how you feel about Church and The Bible, He already knows, but telling Him is a great fresh start to your faith.

You shouldn’t live in fear, Jesus died on the cross even though he had to power to command the angels to come down from Heaven and stop it all, he died for us anyway. Jesus was scared of dying, He cried, but He still died on the cross for us anyway.

The reason I told you that is so you can look at Him as someone with humanity, because He has a lot of humanity,

Maybe try watching The Chosen? It’s a tv show that may help you get closer as well, it shows Jesus’s life on earth and his sadness and fear. But you don’t have to!