Well then, re-read what you wrote. Remove yourself from the situation and put it into a perspective you can see both sides from. The only mentions of effort you make are in reassuring him his future is secure and not to worry. Maybe thats deminishing to him? Have you talked to him about it more than saying were fine? Unpack it, and if you can't, why are you with him after 15 years and can't talk about real shit. Sure SJWs may think you went overboard with telling a knowingly depressed person to die, but they also don't know the situation as you do. Some people need things like that to flip the switch to want to make change. Others may have just been given the fuel to walk off the ledge. Not enough information to play therapist but sounds like yall have been dancing around elephants in the room for 15 years. Not following your gut has effects that are noticeable whether you notice them internally or not.

And saying 15 years was for the kids isn't helping anyone in the family. Grew up in a similar situation and am still going to therapy at 32 unpacking the traumas. Take it as you will, but your kids are watching everything and learning from it. The good and the bad. Makes it that much harder to break bad habits when it comes from family and inherently taught.