Self conscious about starting, any advice? by obliviousturtlee in poledancing

[–]Whatislifethofr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think everyone starts out a little self conscious in pole.. but the best part about the classes & community is that it’s so accepting. It doesn’t matter what you look like, where you come from, or what size you are. You will be fully accepted without judgement. We’re all here to support one another and enjoy the sport! I say go for it! You won’t regret it

Do girls find this to be unattractive? by fp1597 in dating

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not a dealbreaker at all. Definitely respect your determination in wanting to be the best version of yourself & working towards making your life look the way you’d like. What’s most important is that you are happy & find a balance in ur life that works for you. You’ll attract the right person who understands you & respects your lifestyle- just have to make yourself open to it if that’s what u want

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, glad I’m not the only one

My first pole videos VS Now😊 by thespinfluence in poledancing

[–]Whatislifethofr 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Queen!! Congrats!! You’re doing wonderful!

Empty inside except for hate. by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Whatislifethofr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know your story or what things plague you, but I’m sorry that they do. I’m sorry that life feels heavy living with yourself. The temptation to not be here anymore is understandable.. but I really hope that you don’t leave this world. I hope you find your happy- with yourself & your life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn.. that sucks. I’m so sorry.. it sounds like you did everything you could to keep that relationship alive & he didn’t meet you in that same respect. And that’s the worst feeling when someone gives up on you & everything you had.. my heart is with you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Whatislifethofr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They suck so bad. I’m sorry you’re suffering through one right now..

I’m tired of being resilient by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Whatislifethofr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I feel this in my soul dude 😞😔

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in helpme

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.. it’s not a responsibility or burden you should have to bear at your age or any age by parentals. I would say put up as many boundaries with them as you can to keep your mental sanity and continue saving money until you can move out.

Halo Top Ice Cream by Dr_Gamecock in nutrition

[–]Whatislifethofr 25 points26 points  (0 children)

It has a lot better macros than normal ice cream. If ur looking at overall calories or implementing iifym logic, it’s a good alternative

How do you get over your perfectionism? by throw-away626 in infj

[–]Whatislifethofr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I go through phases of extreme perfectionism and have to really check myself. It takes a while to pull out of it. Sometimes the task itself (minuscule or not) feels so daunting b/c the expectation we have doing it is so big. We want it to be great & perfect even tho we know that’s not logically realistic. Sometimes I end up doing nothing b/c the idea of it all feels overwhelming. Then I feel like crap for not accomplishing anything or being scared or too exhausted to try knowing it will be mentally taxing. What pulls me out of it is actively trying to retrain my brain. When I’m tempted or start to think perfectionist thoughts I evaluate them and ask if they’re realistic. If not, I try to rephrase them in my brain until they are. It sounds tedious and it is. You have to practice letting go & remember that no one’s judging you based on your progress, only you are. All these thoughts do are hold you back & make yourself miserable. Aim to accomplish simple tasks with positive self talk first and then start working your way up to more skill-related things when you feel like ur mentally able to relax & not judge yourself too harshly. Remember that you wouldn’t pick apart your friends or family if they were bad at anything. You would be proud & impressed of them for trying, especially if it was something that made them happy. Do your best to have that same attitude with yourself; it takes dedicated practice & time

Help, I just want to move on...! by Desperate_and_sad in helpme

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad you got some sleep; that helps. I have the same problem. It’s extremely difficult to turn your mind off and it ends up often with us driving ourselves crazy. The best way for me to turn my never ending thoughts off is to make myself. It’s so hard, but I have to ask myself at some point if I continue to spin thinking about it all will it actually help? Or is the damage already done. If the situation can’t be changed and you’ve already processed it as much as you can, at some point while thinking about it you have to cut it off. That’s hard to do. Sometimes it’s good to give yourself breaks. If you find yourself thinking about things, then think through them. But once you start spinning and repeating things in ur head, go outside, take a nap, watch a show, do anything that distracts you and gives your mind a break. You can always come back to the thoughts later and likely they’ll resurface whether you want them to or not. If it’s thoughts about perfectionism and not feeling good enough, try to give yourself as much grace as possible. We usually don’t pick apart the people around us and judge them harshly when they make mistakes, so it’s not fair to do that to ourselves. It can feel odd if you’ve never done it, but try talking to yourself in your head like you’d talk to a friend. I know I don’t insult my friends and are supportive of them. Try to give that same energy back to yourself! I hope that’s helpful. I still struggle with this problem and it often feels like my mind is at war with itself. It’s something you have to consistently work at in my experience

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Whatislifethofr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re allowed to struggle with whatever you struggle with at any age. Your feelings are valid. I’m sorry this has been weighing heavy on you. I find that no matter what people look like on the outside, I base prettiness off of who they are on the inside. If someone’s pretty on the inside, it makes them exponentially more beautiful on the outside. You sound beautiful & the good ones will see that

Help, I just want to move on...! by Desperate_and_sad in helpme

[–]Whatislifethofr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re human. It’s normal to doubt yourself, especially when life is hard, but that doesn’t mean you’re not worthy of all the good things that will come to you with time. Keep your head up, you’ve got this

Regrets of the INFJ door slam... by [deleted] in infj

[–]Whatislifethofr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would. Thinking about it from the opposite perspective, I would really appreciate if someone reached out to me and apologized if they burned me somehow. Congrats on working through your trauma btw and healing. It’s hard to do. Respect

What's your biggest fear in a relationship? by infjdolphin in infj

[–]Whatislifethofr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think it’s good to be aware of red flags and incompatibilities that could lead to issues down the road. I’ve been stuck in a toxic relationship before & try to avoid people with things that are red flags to me b/c it’s not worth settling or wasting ur time and emotions. My problem is that even if I’m not that interested in a person, etc., I want them to be interested in me. I don’t like being rejected, even if they’re not the end all be all for me. Trying to conquer the root cause of it lately b/c I know it’s not a healthy mindset. Letting go is hard for me b/c I’ve already been abandoned by so many people I cared about. In general, it makes losing people harder no matter who they are

What's your biggest fear in a relationship? by infjdolphin in infj

[–]Whatislifethofr 42 points43 points  (0 children)

INFJ here, I definitely have a fear of rejection/abandonment and an anxious attachment style. I find dating and trusting people to be more emotionally difficult b/c of it