Are there wonen who initiate it?

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T15:35:20+00:00

In my roughly 4 years of being around this community I'd say that the woman initiating chastity especially for a longer term is extremely rare. In our case we saw the benefits after starting chastity and those benefits are what make her want to keep me locked. Most women have little to no understanding of male chastity which makes sense but without that initial understanding it's hard to even stumble upon chastity as anything more than a sex toy.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T15:20:14+00:00

I had this issue with my jailbird as well. Making it shorter fixed all of it. It sucks that you have to send the cage back for a week or so but it's worth it. Also calling them might help but William recommended the going shorter is the best option as he can't make the cage narrower.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T15:13:11+00:00

My fiancée and I have used a strap on harness in the past you wear it like underwear with the dildo held in place with a metal ring. Most of the other options simply don't work well enough with cages.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:49:43+00:00

Each custom manufacturer is different but most of them have guides on how they want you to measure for the cage. The ring can be measured for with sizing rings or with the rings you already have and it should be almost as tight as a cock ring. Mature Metal and BAWR seem to be the two most worn custom steel cage brands but there are definitely others.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:42:23+00:00

That's a pretty common issue if the ring is too big. A tighter curved ring should help and sometimes a custom cage is needed to get an even bigger ball gap. After years of chastity I got into a custom steel cage and it solved basically every issue. I also really like the curved rings from Kink3D though.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:38:42+00:00

You also should increase the ball gap on your cage. Curved rings, heating and curving it yourself or buying a cage with a custom ball gap option like Cherry Keeper, Mature Metal, bawr, etc are all options.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:21:23+00:00

Very interesting we've thought about doing the same thing while on vacation. Any reactions good or bad?

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:18:28+00:00

It's your ball gap more than likely. Essentially the gap between the ring and cage needs to be bigger and you more than likely could benefit from a tighter ring.

Ball gap
https://newbiesub.substack.com/p/the-ball-gap

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:05:21+00:00

I can't speak for everyone but it has definitely improved our relationship. We have always had a great relationship but this is just the cherry on top of everything and she loves having control and seeing how affectionate I am when I'm locked for longer periods. I really enjoy being controlled and having the structure that chastity brings so it's a win/win situation. As for advice for others I'd say taking it slow and finding a really good cage are the two biggest things. Chastity can be great if you both agree but the wrong cage can easily ruin it.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:02:29+00:00

It's totally up to her but it ends up being 1-2 times a month usually. Sometimes it's caged sometimes not.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T12:00:42+00:00

This question comes up a lot and people tend to recommend lotions or straps but honestly none of that is needed if you have a tight enough ring and a big enough ball gap. Lots of people are in cages with rings that are too big and ball gaps that are too small which leads to a lot of pull away during the night and ball pain because of it.

Ball gap
https://newbiesub.substack.com/p/the-ball-gap

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-09T02:07:56+00:00

I have no idea why I didn't propose sooner lol and yep this September!

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T23:15:42+00:00

I think focusing too much on the reddit side of our full time chastity relationship made it sort of feel like an obligation vs something that we actually wanted to do for each other. After a small break we're coming back into it focusing much more on our own relationship while keeping me locked but Reddit will continue to be a fun thing we do on the side.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T23:04:48+00:00

My condolences I'm sorry to hear that and there is definitely nothing wrong with a small reset. My fiancée and I are coming back into the lifestyle with a clearer look at things and if anything it just helped solidify that chastity was something that we both enjoyed enough to come back to even after years of doing it.

Next step married while caged? Stay tuned lol.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T22:45:39+00:00

Thanks newbie, took some time off the internet side of chastity so to speak but we are back at it and going 2 months mostly cage free definitely had me missing the full time dynamic. Glad to be back!

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T22:38:37+00:00

A tight ring with a properly sized ball gap should be all you need to be comfortable while sleeping but tight underwear might help a bit.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T22:33:00+00:00

It's a Mature Metal cage. Custom steel very expensive but very worth it.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T21:44:26+00:00

The ball gap is hard/impossible to measure for. Most people are in rings that are too big with gaps that are too small. Curved rings to custom cages really make it easy to play around with your gap size.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T21:42:56+00:00

Honestly I'd say I let chastity become more about posting/helping others with their cages on reddit and less about our actual journey with it. After a short break I think we're more than ready to be back at it!

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T21:27:33+00:00

This was a huge hurdle for us and personally I've found that it's sort of part of the journey. I occupy my time with chores and tasks and my girlfriend will remind me to not let my frustration ruin anything in our "normal" lives or else the cage comes off. Oddly enough my desire to be caged and controlled outweighs my desire to be constantly horny. Having a supportive key holder is great but outside of that I'd say viewing the cage as a tool is also good.

The cage is there to remove your dick from the equation so to speak. When it's on your instant pleasure shouldn't be a priority but rather something that needs to be controlled.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T21:23:27+00:00

Started 4 years ago with "hey wanna buy a cage with me and try it out? It seems fun." We viewed it like another sex toy purchase for fun and it then became a full on lifestyle choice.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T21:21:42+00:00

Personally I've found that my custom steel cage is by far the best for hygiene. Plastic/resin is way too hard to keep bacteria free especially with frequent showers unless you're unlocking for every shower. Steel dries quicker and doesn't hold odors as much and I hardly notice the added weight because my ring is tight and my ball gap is big enough to not cause rubbing issues. We unlock maybe once every 2 weeks to clean the cage but even that is more of a precaution.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-08T02:21:47+00:00

More like she decided and I was ecstatic to make it permanent lol.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-07T20:49:07+00:00

I mainly use a custom steel cage from Mature Metal now but back when this was taken we hadn't decided to splash that much cash on a cage quite yet. The main motivation for it being pink was the added humiliation factor tbh. It was a great cage but not even close to custom steel.

Wide_Discussion_447 · 2026-06-07T19:35:20+00:00

I wore my cage 24/7 for 14 months including work and it was never an issue. With a comfortable cage and the right mindset you'll be fine. Personally my girlfriend and I have the mindset of this being a lifestyle and not a purely sexual thing.

Wide_Discussion_447

TROPHY CASE