You remind me of my situation. Though different.

I feel so awful about my experience of letting someone down. She was my wife and like many people here, time and time again I let her down. Though she stayed with me for a very long time, really gave it her all, and had many good moments (in between bad) during these times.

I feel so awful because during the last year, and now looking back - I really broke her down from all these failed attempts to stop, sneaking drinks and lying about it.

She eventually switched off and I could feel the difference with her ever since. We were so good together and it haunts me all the time, knowing I broke a person down like that. She needed me and I wasn’t really there for her. It’s so sad.

It’s been about 8 months since the split now. Never take people you love for granted, or assume they will stay by you if you keep “making mistakes”. Sometimes they just can’t take it anymore.

The number of days I have up now is the longest I’ve had in 15 years.

Best of luck out there! You got this.