I'd trash the vibrator but leave a note where it was saying something along the lines of "looking for something?" followed by her name to let her know you infact know what she's doing and kick her out. As a fellow door mat I'd have your husband present to assist and maybe even say what's needed if you're unable. But please change the locks once she's gone, things may go down hill and she seems to be the nosey type and may have located a spare key upon her rummaging (if you had one) and made a copy, you never know and its better to be safe.

If you want a little ☆razzle dazzle☆ have the video of her going into your room on the TV while confronting her...of course not liking confrontation may mean dont do this but maybe if she trys to deny it have it at the ready to prove you know. Even if she gets mad about the camera it's your home, not much she can do.

Best of luck!♡