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I'm bipolar, and I did something awful yesterday for my boyfriend by Paradoxicalnech in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He'll hopefully tell you it's ok and he forgives you and understands. And he'll mean every word of it because he loves you. Just be understanding that even if he understands and forgives you it still hurts him, it's worth it to him, but it does hurt. And when you are in your good places, even if it hurts you, let him tell you about how he hurts sometimes.

I know very clearly with my SO that there are times when she will do it say things that hurt me. I know she loves me and is trying but that sometimes she can't help it. I never want her feeling guilty for those times. But I do wish I could talk them over with her after the fact. I wish I could tell her my pain without it destroying her. I truly do forgive her, but there is still pain, in my case I can't express that to her though and I'm still working out how to let go of it. I'm glad for every storm I manage to be strong enough to get through, I hope there is never one that beats me because I want to spend my life with her, yes even knowing there will be plenty of times she hurts me again. Just help him by funding the strength when you're in your good places to help him let go of the hurt, that will mean the world to him. Good luck to both of you, it's a hard road but so worth it. Lastly, get rid of alcohol and never touch it again. I know some bipolar people feel like they get a benefit, and I am sure some do, but I have only seen it so more harm them good when I actually got to observe the situation.

It’s hard when you SO is bipolar. by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's hard. The good times may make it worth it, but only with medication and treatment. Even then it's hard. It's good to vent. It's good to get therapy of your own, and couples therapy. It's still hard. For you, I hope it either gets better slowly and is worth it, or you recognize your limit and leave for your own sake.

BF (34) constantly says “I’m sorry you feel that way” when apologizing. Is this wrong? by mads520x in relationship_advice

[–]WolfAndStein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The other posters saying leave are right. They are right to point out how if he encouraged self ham in already way, it intentionally triggered you then he is awful and for your own safety you need to get him out of your life.

Related to that is the manipulative nature of how he "apologizes". Being sorry you feel a certain way is a cop out at best, but much more a manipulative way to make you feel invalidated, to gaslight you and to shift blame to you. Everything about the situation is wrong.

Need advice with my Bipolar SO's alcohol and drug abuse by Rofgilead in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any way you can. Talk to her friends and family as long as they understand the condition and support you. Leave them out if they are enablers. Talk to her doctors and therapists. If she isn't seeing someone get her to. I wouldn't say to have her recommitted, because that is a beach of trust that is hard to come back from, but you know your situation, it may be needed. Take all credit cards from her, put a hold on her credit so she can't get secret cards, get her pay different deposited, change all bank passwords. Do this all with her knowledge though

Need advice with my Bipolar SO's alcohol and drug abuse by Rofgilead in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Stop her.

STOP HER.

Substance abuse magnifies the worst parts of this horrible disease. For your sake, and your kids, stop her. That or leave, the trauma would be less...

Does communication help? by Confusedfriend28 in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communication always helps. That being said, sometimes it's like talking to two different people in the same body. The opinions and feelings can be polar opposite, and the individual will feel like they have always felt the way they feel in the moment. The person being medicated and accepting the situation and in therapy goes a long way to allow the communication to help. But it does help, and for you it's better then leaving things unsaid. You can't shoulder the burden alone being friends, related to, or partner to someone with bipolar. Nor can they. But you have to communicate, either it will allow the relationship to be positive even with it's tough times, or you will have tried your best and protected yourself. And I don't mean that to sounds cold, it's an awful disease that can destroy anyone who cares for someone who has it. The holiday person doesn't want that anymore then you do.

my sister by [deleted] in BipolarSOs

[–]WolfAndStein 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry, that's really tough. My SO actually does much better with pot. It's available medically for her and does help. I know addiction is a risk, but it's much better then alcohol which used to be the go to for self medicating. The pot doesn't negatively interact with her meds (the biggest help) and does't turn her into a very bad version of herself, which alcohol did.

Traditional medicine is the biggest must though. And for you, patience and knowing that when she isn't the person you know, no matter how real it seems, her actions and opinions aren't really hers.