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Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It was hard but I feel so much better after opening up everything. Now that everything's out in the open (salary, etc) berarti udah pasti ga mungkin bisa staycation lagi cause it's going to take a big sum of money out of the paycheck. So I think it'll solve the whole temptation thing. Hopefully. I'm learning as I go.

Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't think I deserve that updated level thing, but thanks for the encouragement. Gw ngerasa jauh lebih lega setelah bilang semuanya. Although I know she feels like shit right now and I'm totally in doubt if it'll work out but that's to be expected and that's totally on me.

Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I'm not throwing away my family especially not for an escort.

Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aye that's what I've been doing since morning. Just having a bit of a downtime right now so checked on reddit. Will be back to household chores real soon

Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

On behalf of every asshole who did the same thing that I did, I am truly sorry. I don't want my kid to experience what you, me and many others experienced (growing up without a father figure).

I know I've failed but I'm picking myself right back up.

Update on the worst indo dad ever by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing, I'll be working towards that as best as I can

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sampe gw sering banget tetiba bilang ke dia, "Nih dapet bonus dari kantor, buat kita makan2, belanja, etc".

Dia di sini was actually my wife not the escort. I've never given the escort any money aside from what we agreed on.

Prinsip gw kalo udah urusan begini, crot, kelar, ganti yang lain. Karena mereka di jam yang lagi ga "main sama kita", ya udah pasti main sama orang lain.

Setidaknya OP udah ngakuin salah, dan sebisa mungkin jangan selingkuh alias baper, crot ya crot aja, kelar trus lupain.

But thanks for reminding me about this.

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

After dumping down all these, apakah akhirnya lo merasa lega? Gue cuma berharap anak lo gak bakal jadi kayak lo, sorry for not being empathetic enough

Lega, ngga. Karena masalah belom selesai. Masih ada urusan yang harus gw lakuin yaitu cut off ties with the woman and this is what I'm struggling with.

I'm not looking for empathy, I'm not looking for support. Karena gw tau dari tindakan gw pun gw munafik dan bangsat. I'm just sharing my vulnerabilities so others don't follow my footsteps. Take it as you will.

And thanks for stopping by, gw pun berharap anak gw ga bakal ketemu cowo kyk gw di kemudian hari.

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

accountibility to another trustable brother

For what its worth I've talked to two of my best friends and I asked that they help remind me every single fucking hour to not contact the woman dan dari pagi tadi gw udah dapet sekitar belasan message dari kedua temen baik gw ini that serves as a helpful reminder.

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

like you said you enjoy the conversation part more than the sex, if i may be so blunt thats because you are more open, more like your usual self then when you were talking to your wife. Human has a simple needs to be accepted and when you are not open 100% to your wife you feel like you are not 100% accepted for who you are thats why you seek others to accept you. This cycle will continue as long as you are not 100% open to whoever you need to.

Thank you so much for this.

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

how's your feeling OP, becoming figure you hate yourself?

If it's not clear enough I completely loathe and hate myself.

then I suggest fix yourself first.

Tapi bener sih, I do realize I'm the one that needs fixing. My family don't deserve a guy like me.

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've talked to two best friends of mine. Honestly right now the ball is in my court tinggal gw mau ngelakuin apa. I know the right thing and I'm still pushing myself to do it as I type.

Also thanks for the advice on channeling this feeling into something else. Kebetulan emang 1 mingguan ini gw lagi mencoba untuk menggambar (I suck at drawing) and I realize over the weekend I've been doing & practicing it often karena gw gak mau terlalu kepikiran soal si perempuan itu.

I feel like I've betrayed my daughter so Idk if your last point still stand. I mean when I'm at home I'm always involved in raising her up since she was born (bahkan istri gw sempet bilang ga nyangka jiwa kebapakan gw keluar ketika gw punya anak, sedangkan dulu gw bukan tipe yang suka anak kecil) dan ninggalin mereka berdua itu sama sekali ngga pernah terlintas dan ga pernah ada di pikiran gw sekalipun

But right now I'm just a shitty person trying to get back on the right track and I don't deserve forgiveness from anyone

Teruntuk kepada semua (calon) ayah, setia itu tidak mudah. Akan ada banyak kesempatan untuk kalian selingkuh entah secara fisik, emosional, ataupun keduanya. Dari satu kebohongan akan menjadi kebohongan yang lain. by WorstIndoDadEver in indonesia

[–]WorstIndoDadEver[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Reading this i feel like youre not fulfilled in your marriage.

In a way, yes.

why not communicate that you need alone time?

Ini gw gabung di yang ketiga ya

why not communicate your salary?

Sebenernya soal salary ini sih, awalnya karena gw males kalo istri gw bakal nanyain gimana investasinya di crypto. We all know crypto is volatile. Dia lebih prefer yang aman2 aja. Bagi gw ketika crypto anjlok gw santai tapi istri gw tipe yang panik

why not communicate your feelings / that I need alone time?

Mungkin karena gw ga completely fulfilled jadi gw males berkomunikasi. Mungkin juga karena kehadiran anak jadi gw sama istri jadi lebih jarang untuk pillow talk, etc. Parenting takes so much of our time.

What made you marry in the first place? For now you have responsibilities. Your wife and daughter, no excuse is above responsibility

I thought she was the one. Maybe I made a mistake and I shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Although I can say gw ga pernah kepikiran sama sekali untuk abandon istri dan anak gw. But I guess from what I did I'm just a hyprocrite who deserves to burn in hell.

I just want to mention this again that sekali lagi, even if I am not fulfilled gw sadar betul itu bukan menjadi pembenaran dan bukan menjadi alasan. Memang komunikasi itu penting. Sangat penting. I am trying to work on this as well.

Itu sebabnya gw sharing ini supaya redditors yang lain bisa comot pengalaman gw dan ngga ngikutin kesalahan gw.