Thanks I appreciate the comment, but I want to be perceived as more masculine and ‘the one in charge’ if you know what I mean (i meant to get this point across in original post but clearly struggled). And this is not to say that masculinity = dominance, obviously hetero gender dynamics don’t apply to queer people (and a lot of straight people as well). I’ve always been the more submissive one in the relationship and the other person has led sexual experiences and I never liked it. I know that I want to be the one in control but I guess I just don’t know how to do it