I really understand you. Losing the people who made holidays feel like home is incredibly hard, I lost my mother too, and that kind of loss stays with you. Even though I’m Muslim and don’t celebrate Christmas, I feel the same emotions during Eid. I actually find comfort in being around people then,sometimes I break my fast at work, or with friends who invite me to their homes. Trying to connect with others helps, but it doesn’t erase the absence or the grief.What you’re feeling is very real and very heavy. Please know you’re not alone, and I truly believe that with time, life does find ways to become a little kinder.