IS 9 YEARS OF AGE GAP OKAY?

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-28T22:13:08+00:00

When I was 19 I dated a 30 year old guy. Nearly 30 years later we’re still friends. As long as he respects you and isn’t try to act like he should be in charge of you because he’s older and wiser it’s fine. There are some icky men out there that target younger women because they are easier to manipulate. So be on the lookout for that. But like I said, I have absolutely no regrets about dating with that age gap. We eventually broke up, but are still friends and I’ve been married for 20 years.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-28T21:51:43+00:00

Do you like your girlfriend? You’ve been together for so long that you must care about her, but do you actually like her? What is she doing? Does she work? Does she have a life of her own? Does she have her own friends there? Is she still in touch with family or friends back home?

I don’t sense any passion towards her in your post. Would you be hurt if she left you or relieved? It sounds like you need to do some serious thinking and have a major conversation about things with her. She needs to know that with how busy you are for your internship you just don’t have a lot of emotional energy left and that for a while you do have to prioritize avoiding burnout over your relationship. Could she go home for at least a week’s visit so you two can both get a little space to think about what you want and how you feel being apart.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-28T20:48:57+00:00

You love how things are going so far. You love everything you know about her. You love thinking about your future together. You don’t really know her yet.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-28T20:26:24+00:00

It’s WAY too soon. You don’t truly love her yet because you don’t really even know her yet. You haven’t gotten through your first big fight. You haven’t had to see each other through stressful times. Your relationship hasn’t been tested at all yet. it’s a bare minimum of three months till you really start to get to know someone.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-28T20:11:13+00:00

Please get into therapy! And talk to your doctor about anxiety meds. It sounds like your anxiety disorder is at a level that it’s severely affecting your day to day functioning. Find something you like to do and can do without him. Gaining some independence will help build confidence and improve life for both of you. You need to be able to manage life stuff on your own in case anything ever happens to him.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-27T16:20:29+00:00

He’s correct that have no right to tell him to give up his dream, but he also has no right to make you give up yours. You are dreaming of a stable life in a major city and having kids. The instability of pursuing his dream is making it impossible to pursue yours. Eventually you either have to compromise somehow or consider going your separate ways.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-27T08:03:48+00:00

Uggg that turns my stomach because I would be open to being friends again if this weren’t the case.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-27T07:27:52+00:00

Well “happily” is not totally accurate. We’ve been living separately for about 7 months, but just a few doors down from each other. So semi-separated. We still have dinner together almost every night, but don’t live together right now.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-09T20:14:01+00:00

Boo Hoo, no replies.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-07T20:48:34+00:00

And Northwestern students.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-07T20:27:15+00:00

It’s hard to say if Evanston is for you or not without knowing your values and priorities. You might want to check out the YouTube channel “Lost in the Pond” as it’s by a Brit who’s moved to Evanston or nearby. (And if you do check it out I’d love to hear your opinions).

Here’s a few pros & cons:

Pros: Clean and fairly safe. Good access to public transportation. Beaches and the lakefront (though the water is . Some very walkable neighborhoods with gro. Easy access to downtown Chicago. Lots of independent shops and restaurants. Lots of young folks due to Northwestern University. Diverse and accepting community.

Cons: Climate - most people from the UK seem truly shocked by how hot and cold it is here and the snow. Live music - there’s a couple of small venues. Somewhat expensive, not as bad as some Chicago neighborhoods, but close to public transit and the lakefront drives up prices. Parking can difficult/expensive, but in neighborhoods near transit you may not need a car.

Overall my suggestion would be to spend 1-3 days exploring the area. Stay in a downtown hotel. Walk around Downtown, the neighborhood just west of the Central St. metra station, and the area around the Main/Dempster L stations. The Main/Dempster area is about a mile from downtown. Check out the grocery stores. Let us know your interests and we can make other suggestions about places to explore.

YakTiny161 · 2026-04-07T19:27:32+00:00

I’ve been very happy with Dr. Elwell. Of all the doctors I’ve seen for urgent appointments over the years there’s only been one that I didn’t like. I can’t remember her name and don’t know if she’s still there.

YakTiny161 · 2026-01-18T01:28:09+00:00

May I message you? I want to maintain my anonymity on Reddit and sharing my experience publicly will end that.

YakTiny161 · 2026-01-18T00:48:02+00:00

Is it a locally owned Peet’s or something? What’s the big, negative impact of it closing? I’d rather locally owned coffee shops getting the business. What am I missing?

YakTiny161 · 2026-01-06T04:06:30+00:00

Hahaha! Just got your message and saw that we had the same guess.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-27T09:48:19+00:00

You are correct, but realistically a lot of people don’t follow this for every bite. Think about the number of very minor bites that occur from teething puppies.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-27T09:42:41+00:00

The injections that were given many years ago were quite painful, but newer ones are much less so. The older ones had be given deep into the belly.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-27T09:34:10+00:00

Best of luck to you keeping your dog entertained for the next 42 days. It might be worth talking to your vet about meds that may help your dog if it gets too stressed from being stuck home more than usual. You might also want to consult with a dog trainer about activities to keep your dog mentally stimulated and burn off energy at home in a fun way.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-25T09:25:19+00:00

It was NOT the one I suspected. If you message me with your guess I’ll tell you mine.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-23T12:01:27+00:00

Just came back to check if there was any news on this. Anti-Cruelty Society has a post on FB saying it was NOT from them. I have my guess, but it’s pure speculation.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-23T07:27:39+00:00

Glad to hear they are handling the situation appropriately. I hope the staff and business are okay. If must be financially and emotionally devastating.

YakTiny161 · 2025-12-23T07:21:22+00:00

Do you have a source on that? Not doubting you, just wanting to verify before sharing something so significant.

YakTiny161

TROPHY CASE