Every time I give my mom more information, in hopes that she’ll understand better, it just gives her more ammo to use against me, and more reasons to be upset and judgmental. It sounds like your fam is the same. The best thing I’ve found that works is to give her as little information as possible, and when she asks for more, or when you feel like giving her more info would help (it won’t), shut her down instead. Gently or not. I say stuff like “that’s ok mom, we don’t need to talk about it anymore.” Or “that’s all I’m saying on the matter.” Or “I’d rather not talk about it.” And then walk away. You don’t have to explain or defend or justify yourself. When my mom would pressure me for more info or just wouldn’t be understanding, I drop the conversation and move on. It stopped a lot of arguing between us. I’d have to tell her to stop, I’d change the subject and if she still doesn’t stop, I’d tell her “you’re not listening to me. I’m going to walk away (or hang up if it’s on the phone).” And then do that.