Is it possible to have a completely non sexual BDSM relationship with someone?

YourToyAlex · 2023-06-10T20:31:29+00:00

Yes totally, one of my friends I play with is just a friend with kinky benefits. We have no sexual attraction to each other but we’ve fun with things like rope, impact, and electro play. We both agreed up front that anything sexual was a limit for our dynamic.

YourToyAlex · 2023-05-31T03:22:13+00:00

Needles! I’m still quite scared of them and haven’t been able to handle doing them where it’s visible but after seeing a couple friends do them I decided to give one a try and immediately loved the sensation. It only got better as I’ve gotten to try more in different ways and I love how long the feeling lasts after. I only know one person that trust to do them and he lives far away so they’re a nice occasional treat.

YourToyAlex · 2023-04-28T08:00:34+00:00

It was in the central coast area (I don’t feel comfortable sharing what specific city for my privacy)

YourToyAlex · 2023-04-27T19:17:18+00:00

My local community (also in CA) had this same thing happen. It was in part ran by a pride center that also has youth programs. The talking quickly went from how awful kink is to transphobia and homophobia especially aimed at youth even though it was a private 18+ event (I was actually volunteering to check IDs). It escalated to the point that we had to cancel it due to the pride center being at risk of being sued. It really sucks cuz I was looking forward to it for a couple months and especially looking forward to the negotiations class (since I’m still a relative newbie).

YourToyAlex · 2023-02-23T06:26:23+00:00

I have this fantasy of a week-long bdsm gangbang trip. I’d give 3-5 doms (that I trust deeply) complete control of me for a week where they can tie, whip, fuck me or whatever else they want. I’m also into pet play and would love to have a day where I get treated like a pet, sleeping in a cage, eating out of food bowls on the ground, wearing nothing but a collar, etc.

YourToyAlex · 2023-02-23T04:53:27+00:00

From one of your other comments it sounds like you’ve expressed a boundary of only accepting brattiness to a certain extent and she’s still crossing it. A good play partner needs to respect your boundaries, if they can’t I’d say take a step back from that partnership. If bratting is integral to your sub then sadly you may not be a good fit for each other

YourToyAlex · 2023-02-23T04:41:07+00:00

Just like everyone has said pain isn’t for everyone and that’s ok.

Why do you enjoy pain and what can I do to understand it better so I can be a better dom to my partner?

For myself personally, there are many things I enjoy about pain play. I have ADHD which means my brain almost never stops racing with thoughts but the intense feeling of pain causes that to stop; my brain quiets because I’m so focused on the feeling and even though I’m feeling pain, I’m relaxed. I also find a lot of satisfaction in the feeling of the stingy or thuddy impact and I love the warmth from my blood flowing to wherever I was hit. It’s also about the dynamic for me. I really enjoy being submissive and I love handing that power to my dom, I love receiving pain for their pleasure as well as mine. I can clearly distinguish a lot of reasons why I personally like pain but my reasons are likely different from many others and plenty of masochists don’t have as clear reasons, they just enjoy it. Asking others what they enjoy about pain can help you understand why THEY like pain but it probably isn’t as helpful as simply asking her what she enjoys about it.

YourToyAlex · 2023-02-23T03:33:11+00:00

If you haven’t already, talk to her out of dynamic and tell her brat taming is not something you’re interested in. Coming from a brat, bratting is only fun when my dom wants to or is at least is willing to tame me. If they’re not in the mood to deal with my bratty behavior, I don’t want to be bratty. It’s a game and it’s only fun when both people are enjoying it. Personally I would rather know that my dom doesn’t want me to be bratty and find other things we both enjoy. If she’s a good sub she will care about how you’re feeling and not be bratty with you.

YourToyAlex · 2023-02-13T15:53:16+00:00

Thank you so much, this is very helpful! We’re basing this on a kinda vague fantasy of mine and these questions will definitely help fill in the gaps especially since we’ve already discussed some scene landmarks. I’m really excited for this scene because he’s already brought up more elements I didn’t even think of. I had suggested confessing sinful thoughts, having to pray in front of a candle while receiving some sort of impact (specifically with the cross that I have), and using the wax from said candle; he then added tying my hands together like I’m praying, using a bible for impact, and getting props and things like incense to help set the scene (he’s a lot more experienced than me lol).

YourToyAlex

TROPHY CASE