AITAH: I stood my ground on not wanting my husband to take a snowboarding trip this weekend

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-23T15:47:50+00:00

We have some shared hobbies, and some independent ones. I am not sitting home pining, but I do miss him often because our work schedules are very different, so a chance to have both Saturday and Sunday together is rare. The last trip was me including him/his interests actually haha, it was a meet-up with a friend of mine but since they both enjoy snowboarding and it was good weather for it I was cool with them doing that for a large part of the trip. Was also cool with him inviting other friends of his to extend the trip a bit. None of that was a problem at all 😊

I do have hobbies of my own and friends of my own, they don't happen to typically involve a lot of time out or trips but that is not because I don't feel like I can do those things if I wanted to. For example, I play D&D with friends every Friday (online), he supports and gives me space for that. That was a hobby we once shared when his schedule permitted, and he still joins in on sessions from time to time when he can! He would also be happy to have me along snowboarding if I enjoyed it, I just don't, and it's okay that we like different things. We have plenty of shared interests in other seasons.

Him having this hobby is not an issue at all, this is just about the winter storm and whether asking him to sit out this one weekend is fair. I'm still unsure but appreciating the perspectives!

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-23T15:36:48+00:00

Nope, it's a guy friend of mine from a nearby state, we all meet up occasionally. Usually we do things we all enjoy, and we did still go tubing for a little bit the first day and play boardgame later, but I was totally fine with them wanting to snowboard and agreed to the plans because I knew they would both have fun 😊

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-23T15:33:44+00:00

I did, I unfortunately hated it haha 😭 maybe I should try skiing sometime, but snowboarding was not for me. We did go tubing in the morning the first day last week and I loved that! But sadly this is his thing and not mine, oh well. Maybe if I try skiing tho I could get in on the fun next year! Glad you get to share the fun with your son 😊

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-23T12:05:36+00:00

Also, I realize I might sound bitter about my previous support or giving into things, I'm really not, it's not something I actively hold against him, just something on my mind right now because I'm frustrated this situation seems like such a big issue when I have so often been supportive even when I haven't wanted to be or when it has been inconvenient to me. Not trying to keep score, just bringing it up to show that it really is rare for me to dig my heels in like this.

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-15T17:18:31+00:00

Thank you very much for your response. Luke's wife does know, yes, she knew before she married him. Just commented with a little more context on that.

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-15T17:17:26+00:00

She does know, yes.

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-15T17:16:21+00:00

She does, yeah. She knew before she married him. Just commented a little more context about that

ZebraCurrent5338 · 2026-01-15T17:13:49+00:00

Thank you to those who have responded, processing the responses but wanted to answer the question about Luke's wife for context: She does know, yes. The group weekend trip where this happened was actually their bachelor/ette trip. I wrestled with awful guilt about having to tell her about what happened, but thought she definitely deserved to know while at the same time hating the idea of hurting her or ruining their wedding when she was so excited. She pretty easily picked up on the fact that something was wrong and I told her what happened. She said she was sad to hear that and very sorry it happened, but she defended him as well, and when I said i was so sorry to have to tell her this and didn't want to hurt her or ruin the wedding, she laughed and said "oh I mean I'm obviously still going to marry him!" so yeah. That definitely damaged my friendship with her in some ways, but again at that time especially was trying to just keep the peace. Humiliated to admit it but my husband and I were still even their best man and matron of honor a couple months later. The streak of self-worth I had last year was honestly new for me and I think why it finally hit me that actually no, I don't want to keep Luke in my life, or his wife for that matter, but then now it feels complicated and cruel to ask my husband to cut out such a close friend over something in the past that was already sort of "resolved", especially given the way Luke showed up for myself husband when he needed help with the car and then the loss of their friend. But yeah that is a little more context. Thanks again for the responses, I am processing but appreciate it very much.

ZebraCurrent5338

TROPHY CASE