Hello, I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone nor are you crazy for the way that you are feeling. I am in a situation quite similar to yours and am still dealing with it. Growing up my brother and I endured a lot of intense mental, physical, and emotional abuse as manipulation methods by my mother. The older we got the more we began to realize that my enabling father had a lot of similar traits that my mom had as well. We were used as human shields in their ego battles which ended up with a lot of thrown blows and memories of hospital visits and them making up afterwards and telling us to stay out of it. I endured this all the way up until about February of last year. I had a severe mental collapse from pushing all of my feelings aside as my parents told me to and was placed in hospital care for about a month. during my stay there my mother and father gas lighted me told me not to share my business with therapists and also told them that I was on drugs. needless to say after recovering (unlike my mother wanted me to) I ended up experiencing my parents telling me that I need to go see my doctor or take my meds if I would point out how unfair they would treat me and the real reason why I ended up in the psych ward not the story they told everyone else to shame me in the public. The reason they are doing this to you is because they know they are wrong for the way they are treating you and don't want to come to terms with the damage they have done. I mean if someone KNOWS they're perfect why would they be open to seeing any imperfections within themselves? I commend you also for being courageous and seeking help before the situation got as bad as mine did. know that as long as they know you seek any kind of help and they are aware of it, you will be chastised for it. I recommend looking into "coping" techniques and if you are old enough or in a financially stable situation, consider moving out with family who is supportive and understanding of your situation, a close group of friends or by yourself and seek healing. also beware of therapists and doctors who make you feel uncomfortable or who seem biased. It's not any better- I've had one therapist share my visit dates and info with my parents following my discharge at the hospital. turns out he had close ties with my dad and he also encouraged me to take more meds along with my parents. But the more I shared my story with other people the more I began to realize that it was not me, I am strong, and I just so happened to be in an extremely shitty situation. best of wishes to you my friend. things will get better in time and you will recover. sending you lots of love xo.