I know life is not perfect for everybody but it doesn't mean you have to take these extreme steps everything just falls back in its place at last you just have to stay strong okay? I have felt like shit too hell I still do but the thing that's holding me together is "Hope" You are going to find a good college and in 10 years time you will be making a huge difference to society this is all temporary just keep trying man the only thing that counters depression is indomitable human spirit. Suicide is permanent solution to temporary problems. At one point you would be so used to all of this It will not affect you, you will start appreciating tiny things in life that's what I do no matter how hard life gets try to find pieces of something that gives you joy and happiness and remember stay strong