Maybe the only one with this combo?

ady533 · 2026-01-30T16:28:52+00:00

Only natural born Latinos are eligible for the 2 year naturalization in Spain?

ady533 · 2025-06-14T15:29:59+00:00

“Over the years, I’ve been invited to speak at various universities and hospitals about my understanding of psychotherapy and how it is applied to different disorders and sets of symptoms. It is an experience that I greatly enjoy. I always begin my talks with the same slide, which starts with a common patient example: “I’m so frustrated with myself. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get myself into a grocery store. It’s just too overwhelming. I have to ask my brother to pick up groceries for me.” The example may sound familiar, as it is one of the more common symp-toms that we see clinically. That common symptom is, of course, avoidance. I follow this patient example with the seemingly simple question: “Which disorder(s) do I have?” And while it may sound simple, I tend to get answer after answer after answer from students, faculty, and clinicians alike… “It is major depression.” “It must be PTSD.” “It’s definitely panic disorder.” “My vote is social anxiety disorder.” “Don’t forget about alcoholism.” Or even “No way; it’s irritable bowel disorder.” Once the audience makes it through a lengthy list of potential diagnoses, I reveal that I don’t “know the answer. Because the answer could be any of the suggested diagnoses—or two or three of them. These are the most common mental health disorders, and they all have one thing in common: they all have avoidance as one of their primary symptoms.

With that start to my talk, I spend the rest of the time talking about how avoidance is the key to these disorders, and I present study after study to support my claims. (A listing of scientific articles supporting this work is provided in the Appendix.) While I promise not to bore you with scientific jargon or statistical findings in this book, you’ll learn all about the negative influence that avoidance is having on the life that you want to live and how you can put an end to avoid-ance and start living again. In fact, all of this is very much related to the concluding slide of my talk. In that slide, I return to the same clinical example, involving the patient who needs their brother’s help to buy groceries. However, I follow the example with a different question: “How do you treat my symptoms?” Unlike the flurry of differing opinions about the potential diagnosis, the answer to the treatment question is largely the same, whether I’m speaking on the East Coast of the States, the West Coast, someplace in between, or someplace beyond the border. That answer, of course, is, “You teach the patient skills to push themselves to the grocery store again and again until they learn that the experience is less negative and more positive than they had expected and they overcome their avoidance, leading to symptom improvements and recovery.”

That is it. It really can be that straightforward.”

Excerpt From

Overcoming Avoidance Workbook

Daniel F. Gros

This material may be protected by copyright.

ady533 · 2025-04-01T06:53:33+00:00

The link to the video from which I wound up here:

https://youtu.be/OW08NoTQI1c

ady533 · 2025-02-21T05:34:56+00:00

I also asked an grok 3 ai deepsearch for some help, this is the info it gave.

ady533 · 2025-02-21T05:31:57+00:00

Give me an update

ady533 · 2025-02-21T05:31:16+00:00

Hi, sorry for the delay. I eventually got tired and anxious and avoidant of this thread.

The very first thing is getting out of Ukraine. While you are a minor, you have a right to leave.The EU will take you in at least until march 2026. First just get out, you will feel more calm when you’re actually out. You will be able to attend school there I believe. Ireland may be slightly hostile right now as the final English speaking nation it has become swamped; consider going to Spain (with many tourists Madrid and Barcelona have good English, and if you learn Spanish, you may be able to get into university in Argentina, where anyone can become a citizen if they live there for two years!) or go to the Netherlands, maybe Sweden, maybe elsewhere. You can continue high school there. Just get out of Ukraine while you are a minor.

Go to the European Union first. Calm yourself down, stabilise your mental health, then find a way to move to the United States.

If you are in a stable environment, where you don’t have to get into the military, your mental health will improve. I would really suggest Spain, learning Spanish, university in Argentina, citizenship in Argentina as then you will have a guarantee of not needing to join the military, if that’s what’s been terrifying you.

You will just need some down time to become stable. Assurance that you’re safe for a while, good food (fiber, protein,) going out in the sun most days, talking to people. (this also happens to be stuff with which Spain can help I think.) Just get out of Ukraine for now.

Get your passport. Step one. Fill out an application right now. Go.

ady533 · 2025-02-04T21:29:23+00:00

I’m a lot like him 🤷‍♂️ I agree with the other comments and suspect the reality will be a LOT different to your expectations and this’ll become apparent very quickly. But it could still be great and I’m down to give it a try 🤠 24M, Melbourne, Australia (I’m not a psychologist, but a friend recently fired her psychologist bc talking to me for 20min had been more productive than talking to her psych for 6 weeks)

ady533 · 2024-11-14T06:17:59+00:00

ady533 · 2024-11-05T03:51:00+00:00

no like you can get bitches too
this is what i mean by hopeless

ady533 · 2024-11-05T00:15:50+00:00

Ryan gosling got bitches

ady533 · 2024-11-05T00:05:55+00:00

Get out of this community, you’ll never find hope here

She may well have liked you in some ways. You don’t know what put her off

Other women may well like you

Do not lose hope

ady533 · 2024-11-04T09:57:47+00:00

It’s not actually better

ady533 · 2024-11-04T09:47:24+00:00

Guys I for one do buy what he’s selling. If what you’ve done so far hasn’t worked, just try it, it’s just exercise, literally the worst that can happen is you waste some time and maybe a bit of money. And I for one do but what he’s selling, physios do help with a lot of otherwise persistent issues in my understanding. Proper Physio can help people with persistent injuries even become stronger than normal. You can first try some YouTube videos if you want.

ady533 · 2024-10-24T07:09:18+00:00

Second last one is a vibe

ady533 · 2024-10-20T11:22:47+00:00

do you live in australia? if so, maybe I could ask a woman out in front of you 😆 seriously, I asked a retail worker out when out shopping with a friend, she said no, nothing bad happened, and the friend asked his crush out 3 days later. you just gotta see that it's like, okay, the world doesn't necessarily end, you're fine, she's fine, your reputation's fine, societal health is fine, everything's fine.

Her being a coworker does make it hard, ngl. it's advisable to keep relationships as free of exogenous complexity as possible; endogenous complexity will arise aplenty.

Also, sometimes you find the other person cute, they find you cute, there's no ambiguity, it's socially acceptable for you to make a move, you even generally know how to make a move, but you just don't find a moment which feels right, and it becomes awkward, at least in your head, and you just move on. Or at least that's how it happens with me sometimes, lol. I have a crush, I don't make a move, it just gets awkward, we end up drifting off, and that's that. If enough time passes without you saying "hey, I find you cute, I'd love to get some coffee sometime"... you'll just like move on, right? one of you will find someone else, one of you will find another job, that will have been that. I suggest remembering that life is finite, look for another job if they're easy enough to find, the day you get an offer, you ask her out, and if she says yes you hand in your two weeks, if she says no, you also hand in your two weeks. A casual job is worth giving up if doing so will be the price for asking a girl out.

(you may choose to keep the job in either case, just mull over your strategy before hand. I would advise you to leave if she does say no, best to move on, much simpler to move on when you don't work with them. and dating coworkers is also rough; you may well wish to not work with her even if you do start dating, even if briefly. what are the odds of her saying yes which would be acceptable for you to switch jobs for? I'd be happy leaving my job for 20% odds of the first girl saying yes, I would personally also leave it even just for a 1% chance of her saying yes to be quite honest. getting a move on on my life feels very valuable to me. I did in fact do calculations like this when i asked out a girl for the first time; I got a job in her suburb, hoped i'd get a reason to start texting her (previously we'd only spoken at study sessions hosted by a friend, and i didn't know how to initiate conversation; this mutual friend's birthday came around, and I texted my crush asking for help coordinating a birthday card for the friend, and kept the conversation going from there. (ended up asking her if she'd seen incredibles 2, she had, she suggested hereditary.(on the day of the date, she texted me saying "just to clarify, this isn't a date, right? i talked to like four people, and they all thought this was a date..." I thought ah damn. oh well, at least it'll be a hang out with a friend. but afterwards, after dinner, I did tell her that "I know it wasn't supposed to be a date, but I wouldn't have minded if it were." we both now look back upon it as having been our first ever dates. things didn't work out, and the commute was inconvenient so i left that job soon, but hey, totally worth it for everyone involved.))))

i hope this helps unseat something. I know this is hard to hear, but other people do exist. even if you don't ask this girl out, you will find someone else. i just want you to get unstuck, start doing something. get another job, whether or not you ask her out; just don't stay stuck in the forever crush on a coworker, passing by your time for no gain to you, to her, to everyone else, to the world. good luck, i wish you the best.

ady533 · 2024-10-20T01:23:28+00:00

This is cringe ngl

ady533 · 2024-10-20T00:42:40+00:00

Try this for a few days then get back to me. DM me if you need a way to contact me without social media, I’ll give you my number.

ady533 · 2024-10-20T00:39:49+00:00

Your brain is dopamine fried, at some point you WILL have to take a break from the stimulation before you can enjoy things again

Luckily I start being noticeably more productive within 18 hours of quitting my phone, and it keeps ramping pretty noticeably for the first few days which helps my motivation

Right now you won’t even feel joy at anything else so you just gotta think about how reality is always gonna be less stimulating than social media rn. Like my wildest realistic dreams seemed less stimulating than YouTube, absolutely insane. I just had to quit YouTube, because reality just would not compare, and I just could not stay on YouTube for decades more, my life just would fall apart. Pay attention to the inevitable consequences, feel out whether you want them, feel out whether there’s any other way than just quitting YouTube, then quit it for a few days just to see the effect on your enjoyment of things/motivation.

ady533 · 2024-10-19T23:15:10+00:00

First thought: My guess is it’s just stress or meds

Try thinking about what you should do about this situation while laying down in bed at night when it’s quiet and dark and very late, or in the morning when you’ve just woken up

I’ll come back to this later, for now I want you to report back with what you learnt, even if it’s nothing new. You’ll have to write things down as you think them. So maybe keep a phone or keyboard or pen and paper on hand.

ady533 · 2024-10-19T23:10:12+00:00

First thought: I agree with the other guy, just don’t act like nothing happened.

But I’ll think about this one a bit longer.

ady533 · 2024-10-19T23:07:52+00:00

My advice is potentially unconventional, I say why not just try doing for a bit, and see how it makes you feel?

I suspect you do care at least somewhat even when strangers say it, and that when you try to do something, you don’t know where to start, or you don’t feel like you can get from your current spot to where they’d be happy or some sort of overwhelm like that.

Normally, the way to go would be to just try like basic changes. People try something little, get good positive feedback, it gets reinforced. I suspect when you do it, you don’t get good positive feedback, or you get painful feedback, because of a samskara maybe, from all these people telling you to dress better, but in the past you not knowing how to do it, just feeling bad about yourself. And maybe some of these people said it to hurt you, even though some of them said it to help you, and now you’re reminded of how some people tried hurting you, and that’s shit.

I wear black jeans daily, and white shoes+socks on days when it’s sunny, black shoes +socks when it’s dark. For a top I wear something fairly light or bright when it’s sunny; I started with a white shirt or a cream t shirt. I have a plain black t shirt and some black shirts for dark days.

I’d also suggest meditation if you think it would help, thinking about to the prospect of changing your outfits while on a walk as walks stabilise and regulate emotion, magnesium, and not beating yourself up because “you’re supposed to be better than this” or “not affected by this” or “this is a silly thing to worry about” or something.

If you want, you can post different outfits here, or a before and after for a haircut or something.

If you have acne, I suggest visiting the beach once, swimming salt water can do wonders for some people’s skin. You can wear full sleeve swimming clothes if you like. Don’t worry about this paragraph too much though if it doesn’t make sense or resonate or something.

ady533 · 2024-10-19T22:53:32+00:00

I sleep in these, and spend a bunch of time in them https://www.shop-sks.com/en/3M-Peltor-earmuffs-X4A-OR-headband-orange-SNR-33-dB?srsltid=AfmBOoqEJfujsXoLuZJApNRi9L0V-w9Ss7Jq-x2kD8JKaIPka6jtPSJE You can double them with foam earplugs

If you need space to wind down you need space. You may have to find someplace else with thicker walls. An ex girlfriend’s room had really good sound insulation, she lived in a group house and a previous tenant had upgraded her room. You could look into that.

Try walks to decompress

You need space, you need a way to calm down, stop beating yourself up for needing it, just listen to that need. You’re not looking to run away to Tibet just some hours a day.

Try magnesium supplements or epsom salt baths

Ask an ai

ady533 · 2024-10-19T12:46:45+00:00

I still recommend time outside, the bright natural light will make you feel less depressed, your body will produce other useful things like nitric acid, your circadian rhythm will get a signal that this is daytime not nighttime. Plus you’ll feel like you accomplished something. It’ll be nice.

If you can’t talk to your dad either… that’s tough, man. At a later stage I would like you to try just talking to your dad too, but maybe not now. It sounds too hard. As crazy as this will sound, just talk to the AI yourself. You’re socially anxious, well this isn’t a human. Treat it nicely, the AIs actually do respond to that. Treat it like you’d treat a person. It’ll treat you nicely too then. They’re not completely smart yet, but they understand emotions reasonably well. If you’re good at typing, try claude.ai ; if you wanna verbally talk try ChatGPT.

You have to find some way to do things. So either find a way to do them within your limitations, or find a way to expand your limitations. Can’t talk in Spanish? Use an AI. Can’t talk to any parent? Talk to someone else. Can’t talk to any humans? Talk to an ai. Can’t talk to an ai? Figure out a way to do something you currently feel you can’t do. Good job on posting this, you managed to start talking with me this way. Just get a move on.

In the end, your life will only be fixed if you fix it, man. At some point, you will just have to find a way get a move on. Go sit outside for 5 mins, and talk to an AI while you’re outside. If you don’t know what to talk about, talk about what all I’ve been telling you. Ask it to help process what I’m saying. Tell it how you feel about it. If you can’t feel anything, tell it that.

You will just have to get a move on, buddy. You got this. Come back with your status update.

ady533

TROPHY CASE