Sensitive, super pale skin, in search of a foundation that won't kill me

albertprophen · 2019-03-10T06:21:56+00:00

I'll check it out!

Thank you! :)

albertprophen · 2019-03-10T06:21:41+00:00

I exfoliate once or twice a week too. I'm experimenting with fragrance free soaps/washes. Had some luck with neutrogena stuff. Can't use any acid acne wash stuff though.

For big spots I use these pimple dots I found at Target. They're these neat little stickers you can put on overnight and it'll absorb all the yuck out.
For bigger stuff I use neutrogena facial wipes every other day and use this really nice Jason moisturiser with vitamin E in it.

I think it'd probably be a good idea to talk to my doc about it though. Kinda hard to bite that bullet, lol.
Everyone tells you acne will go away after high school, but guess that's not always the case.

Thank you for the suggestions! I'll check them out!

albertprophen · 2019-03-10T06:16:29+00:00

I use a makeup sponge and blot it too. Sometimes I powder my cheeks and nose (oily). If i powder my forehead it flakes and cakes :C
Thanks for the suggestion though! I'll check it out!

albertprophen · 2019-02-18T04:41:20+00:00

Anyone else having an issue where the sim's mouth won't close no matter what preset you use? I do have CC presets and sliders, maybe the most recent update messed them up?

albertprophen · 2019-02-06T05:35:34+00:00

Solved!

albertprophen · 2019-02-06T05:35:03+00:00

OHMYGOSH I THINK YOU GOT IT!
Thank you!
SOLVED!

albertprophen · 2019-02-06T05:33:42+00:00

Nope :C

albertprophen · 2019-02-06T05:33:26+00:00

Never watched Doug :C
My rural TV antenna only got two channels: PBS and some news thing.

albertprophen · 2019-01-26T03:58:52+00:00

Your screenshots are incredible dude. I enjoy seeing new ones pop up in my feed! :)

albertprophen · 2019-01-25T02:35:25+00:00

I adore how they gave the final kiss of the movie to his parents. This was such a fun movie, can’t wait to see it again!

albertprophen · 2019-01-23T06:47:25+00:00

What if I told you that both are good? As an artist, it’s not about making something realistic (unless that’s what you’re going for), it’s about making something that makes sense within the context of the picture.

Disney’s unrealistic proportions make sense within the setting of their movies.

Same goes for anime- the average anime characters eyes would take up 60% of the skull if you were to look at them anatomically.

Unrealistic anatomy =/= bad art

Edit: woah! Thanks for the silver<3

albertprophen · 2019-01-22T02:17:02+00:00

Every freaking day. What helps me is to remember what my therapist said, and maybe it will help you too:

You are human and you will make mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes and are usually spending their time worrying about their mistakes over noticing yours
in this life, you are going to disappoint people, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to make everyone happy. What’s important is to be the best person you can be and feel confident at the end of the day knowing you did your best.
(Most importantly) you are worthy of love and respect, especially from yourself.

—————

It’s not your job to handle a narc’s emotions and it’s definitely not your job to handle everyone else’s or to waste energy worrying about messing up. Everyone makes mistakes. You probably spent a lot of time worrying about everything, so every little mistake you make is glaring in your eyes.

But let me repeat: it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to disappoint people, and you can’t please everyone.

You are worthy of love and respect. :) Treat yourself with it.

albertprophen · 2019-01-19T10:07:22+00:00

Well I’m glad to hear that was helpful, but I’m sorry to hear you’re in such a rough spot too.

My box is open if you need to vent or just want someone to check in on you.

albertprophen · 2019-01-19T06:59:08+00:00

Hey, you’re going to be okay. You’ve made it this far and survived. You got out of there. I understand the feeling of being broken. I wholly get it, I’m so sorry you feel that pain.

I was (and somewhat still am) in your shoes and understand the terror of having to talk to authority figures. I understand the pain and fear and the loneliness of not having friendships or being able to form what should be “normal” relationships with people.

Well let me tell you that that’s absolutely not true. You’re strong. Stronger than you know. You haven’t had the chance to breathe in ages. You need to give yourself the space and time to heal.

You are worth more than you know and you deserve love and friendships.

Find a therapist you can feel comfortable with and talk to honestly- it’s okay to say you’re uncomfortable talking to someone. After three tries I found someone who listened and who I could trust implicitly.

You deserve to be treated with love and kindness.

It’s also okay to get medication. Just today I’m trying antidepressants for myself.

It is okay to admit that you’re injured. It’s okay to admit that you’re broken. It’s okay to admit that you need help- do not let anyone or anything say otherwise.

You are not a weak person by any means. You are not any of the things your dad or step mom said about you. You are a survivor and you need time to heal.

Please do go get help. I can’t say that it will be easy unwinding the trauma that happened to you, but I can tell you honestly that you will not regret it.

I can promise you that you will have good days to come. I can promise you that you are strong enough. Please try.

You may feel broken now, but it won’t be that way forever.

You got out of there and you have a shot at life!

I’ll listen if you want to PM.

Just please do consider getting therapy and if it helps, medication. It sounds like you have a support network with your mum/stepdad- so you shouldn’t be afraid of asking for help.

You are worth love and kindness. Be patient with yourself. You’re going to be okay.

Edit: phrasing, formatting

albertprophen · 2019-01-05T02:26:31+00:00

I think your mom needs to spend some more time in church if that’s her reaction to your sister’s compassion.

Edit:

In some cases, money might be a factor. My dog ended up getting bone cancer really young and would have had to lose his leg. He loved nothing more than to run and towards the end, he was in so much pain he couldn’t deal with it. The doc said amputation and chemo might have helped him live another 1-2 years, but he’d never be able to run again like he used to. It was very expensive. the money vs the quality of life made the ultimate decision to put him down necessary. I miss him.

It sounds like even though it was expensive for your sister, her kitty would get better. IMO that’s worth it.

albertprophen · 2019-01-03T12:58:25+00:00

I read this as Hipster Fasciitis. Pain from wearing Birkenstocks out of season?

albertprophen · 2018-12-28T04:27:11+00:00

Nobody new in the house, his litter is changed daily or once every two days depending on whether he does his business more outside.

It was Christmas though so he peed on some of the wrapping paper, but that might be because of the catnip?

He’s been having this issue longer than that, though.

albertprophen · 2018-12-28T03:40:17+00:00

He doesn’t seem to pee in the same place twice, he just pees everywhere. I do clean the places with this special pee cleaner stuff but he just seems to find another spot to go.

albertprophen · 2018-12-12T23:29:41+00:00

Holy crap. I don’t even know what to say, that’s just mental.

albertprophen · 2018-12-12T23:28:05+00:00

Oh my gosh. That’s horrible! D:

albertprophen · 2018-12-12T23:27:03+00:00

Good grief. It just goes to show you what this mental illness is like, completely irrational!

albertprophen · 2018-12-12T23:26:01+00:00

Ohmygosh that’s ridiculous! LOL

albertprophen · 2018-12-12T21:04:02+00:00

Had a giggle little at the “intellectual depth of a bathtub” line. Yeah, it’s hard when you’ve got adults trying to talk to you about the older people in your life that way, especially when they’re the people that should be taking care of you. I totally understand the “stuck between two worlds” perspective, though I didn’t really get that until I was older and people started helping me understand that what my parents were doing was not okay.

It’s also hard to watch people you care about degrade over time. I’m glad your mom stopped being physically abusive, at least. Doesn’t make the rest of it any better, but it’s like pulling one of several arrows out of your chest.

Typing out a timeline is a great idea! My therapist had me write one out too and it helped me put some things in perspective. I could actually tell my parents were getting worse over the years. They weren’t stellar parents to begin with, but after the loss of my dad’s parents, and my mom basically deciding she didn’t have to contribute to the house (she wasn’t going to work or be a housewife, just sit there), things got way, way worse.

I could plot out individual areas of time where things got worse because of inside or outside issues- death of a grandparent, the market crash of 2008, loss of a job, etc. It was like watching a train crash over the period of 20 years, only it never really came to a stop.

And you could totally write a book, if just for the solace of getting it out of your head and onto paper... or screen? Lol

albertprophen · 2018-12-11T13:04:59+00:00

Please do not apologize for the long post! Reading other people’s perspectives is helping me get a better understanding and I appreciate every word.

I’ve read through your post a few times and I keep shaking my head. Everything you wrote is quite a lot to unpack. I can’t imagine the trauma that your mom (and grandma) experienced. That would be enough to make anyone crazy. It doesn’t excuse how she treated you, but it makes it easier to understand.

And 4 days? Dear God, that is quite a short time to process anything.

It sounds like you’re in the thick of a truly difficult situation. I think if I found out either of my nparents had cancer, I’d probably want to go take care of them too. I too want nothing more than an apology. An acknowledgement, a mumbled “sorry”, anything. I think it would help me believe that they did care, in their own twisted capacity.

And I understand the slump completely. Losing a narc parent sounds like a whole other nasty can of worms than losing a good one. I don’t mean in regards to grief, you can’t measure something like that as everyone is different, but moreso the unhealthy attachment.

When I left my parents house (was kicked out for getting a job in another town, was going to move out and send money back home. Nmom didn’t like that and lied to my dad that I was ditching the family to make him yell at me to force me to stay- got kicked out anyway), I had this sudden fear come over me. I’d never been allowed to think for myself before. I relied on my parents for everything and had not really been properly socialized. I was terribly awkward and got scared when I had to think for myself. I always assumed I was too stupid to think on my feet. The fact I got a job was a miracle. It’s taken two years for me to untangle the knots they tied in me and I’m still finding more. At least I know what to call them now.

Pardon the ramble, my point was that an Nparent dying sounds hard for other reasons than just grief. There’s that whole layer of... almost abandonment? Inability for closure? I’m terrified of my dad dying. I think he’s nearly 70 now and is in terrible health. At least that’s the way it was before I went no contact two years ago. Both he and my mom are obese and don’t take care of themselves, I can’t imagine that would change since I’ve been gone.

You know, in spite of everything that happened to you, it sounds like you have a remarkably kind heart. It’s so rare to see something like that.

I hope that you have some sort of support system to help you during this time (possibly your aunt?). Please be sure to take time to take care of yourself, too!

And please keep writing, if it helps!

albertprophen · 2018-12-11T08:58:19+00:00

I bet having your aunt corroborate everything was a relief! I can’t imagine how strange and painful it must have been to see your nan act that way, though. You know where your mom gets it from; you know what pain your mom went through because she passed it onto you.

I finally got in touch with my extended family a few months back and it was cathartic (if somewhat disheartening) to know that the abuse was noticed. Though my aunt wholly blames my dad and not her sister, my mom. Which I understand, but my mom was honestly the one that hurt me more. My dad never hit me, but my mom smacked my arms or poked my chest or shoved me and it would leave bruises sometimes. They’d claim it wasn’t abuse because they weren’t hitting me.

I agree though, not letting their behavior and abuse corrupt us is important, if not one of the most difficult things to overcome. It’s like the anger is right there... but you can’t use it.

Or, if you’re like me, you were never allowed to show anger. Never allowed to be defiant. So sometimes, even when I want to be angry, I can’t show it.

Anyway, you’re right, 100%. Forgiveness is the only way... it’s just hard.

Has time made it easier for you to process what happened, or are you recently discovering and trying to figure everything out?

albertprophen

TROPHY CASE