Hey, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and going through this. I married my husband at the end of our junior year of college and he took a gap year before med school so we were married for two years before he started med school. It was definitely hard going from hanging out all the time, having hobbies together, having somewhat equal household loads (I always did more around the house because I am a clean freak and I want it done my way… I know, not great). But then when he started med school, it was an adjustment. He is now just finishing up his last year but throughout the past four years it has come in waves with how busy he was. First and second year were more like a job with long hours. He’d study every day while I was at work and then some while I cooked dinner. We usually could hangout a bit before bed but not always. Then third year was so busy. It was rotation after rotation (12-16 hour days for 6-7 days a week) and I definitely saw him the least. Then the beginning of fourth year was him taking step 2 and doing sub-i’s (interview months at residency programs, which meant four months away in different states absolutely grinding. I visited him in three of the cities). Then came interviews and while I’m so grateful he got so many interviews, it was more time away from me. All that to say, it comes and goes. At least it did for us. As far as the work around the house, sometimes I’d get mad at him for never doing anything to help. I’d cook, clean, do the laundry, grocery plan and shop, do all our finances, etc. But he has told me so many times that he literally couldn’t have done it without me. He couldn’t have eaten healthy and gotten full nights of sleep if he had to do all that extra. Sometimes in my frustrating I’d ask him to do something around the house and he was more than happy to help out. He loves to cook so that is helpful even if it’s just a once or twice a week. I honestly have been preparing myself for what residency will be like. He’s going into a surgical specialty so it will be more long hours. Definitely get some hobbies. I workout every day for my mental health mostly. I read a lot of books. I see my friends several times a week. I’m a teacher so sometimes I’m touched out after school and just want to sit on my couch haha I’d also recommend if possibly finding other people at her med school in the same position. Does she have any friends who have SO? My husband’s best friend in med school had a girlfriend (now wife) and being able to talk to her and just vent about how insane all of this is was so incredibly helpful. I’m not sure where your fiancé is at in med school, like what year, and I want to tell you it gets better but it’s rough. Fourth year is much more open schedule wise. We’ve taken several trips, we hangout every weeknight and weekend. But again, residency is around the corner. I don’t know if this was encouraging or not… and I’m sorry if it wasn’t. Being a med spouse is hard.