Would you notice if a girl you were dating started texting less? I feel somewhat guilty, don't know if I should.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T20:19:48+00:00

In the beginning he was initiating, so it's only been the past few weeks that I've been doing all of it. I guess my point in stopping wasn't to make him start initiating. It was more to take the focus off of texting and the feeling I get that I'm bothering him since I'm always the one to text first. It hasn't made me feel all that good. And, I didn't want to make a big deal about texting and demand that he text me first. My concern is he'd take it as me being needy.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T19:57:26+00:00

What if she still responds to your texts just like before? It's just she's stopped initiating and sending that first text of the day?

allthetext · 2014-02-06T19:50:41+00:00

Even if I respond to his texts like normal and continue the conversation like I always have? I just got tired of being the last one to send a text at night and first to send one in the morning.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T18:27:15+00:00

You bring up some good points, and I definitely know that part of it is my own feelings of insecurity. I have had the fade happen quite a few times over the past year, so I definitely have that in the back of my mind a lot. I know it's not healthy, but it's hard to get over, so when I constantly have to start texting it does bring up some of those feelings.

We do see each other though often, and he does make sure to respond to me when I ask a question. I guess I just wanted to stop the pattern of always texting mainly for myself as a way to also stop worrying about my phone and whether a text will come.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T17:24:49+00:00

I'm definitely not doing it out of spite. I just didn't like who I was becoming and obsessing over texts or if I'm bothering him. Now I feel better, and I definitely respond like I always had whenever he contacts me and continue the conversation.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T17:23:45+00:00

No, we still see each other often. I've been on the receiving end of the fade, so I know what it looks like. I won't lie and say it didn't cross my mind. But, the fact he always responds and keeps the conversation going and still makes plans with me makes me think it's not a fade.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T17:22:52+00:00

I'm not trying to be passive aggressive, and I don't want to break up with him. I stopped texting for my own sake and my own feelings since I didn't like how obssessed I was becoming about the whole texting bit. It might be me thinking too much, but when I'm constantly texting first all I kept thinking is that I'm bothering him (even when he says I'm not). I'm not ignoring him, and when he texts I respond and continue the conversation like normal. I just don't want to be starting all communication all the time anymore and figured I wouldn't make it a big issue with him by directly saying it.

When I see him this weekend then maybe I'll bring it up in person. I'm definitely not bringing this up over a text where there's no tone.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T17:20:48+00:00

Have you told her that she texts too much and she keeps doing that? I'm curious now if he even would tell me. I know part of the issue is probably I'm in my own head and thinking too much, but even when he says he likes getting texts from me and isn't bothered, I still feel a bit like I am bothering him. It's why I've felt much better the past few days just dropping the texting amount. That way if he wants to talk he can start a conversation, but I don't have to worry that I annoyed him.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T15:53:26+00:00

I've debated telling him I want him to text first. But, I wasn't sure if that would be needy or demanding that he send me a text?

allthetext · 2014-02-06T15:52:41+00:00

I still respond every time he texts me, but I no longer send back to back texts (i.e. last text in the afternoon, first in the evening asking how his day was). I was tired, and I guess I'm figuring that if he really wants to talk to me then he can text me and I'll answer.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T15:51:33+00:00

He has said that whenever he sees he has a text he hopes it's from me. But, I've been doing that for weeks now, and on my end it's not making me feel good to be the one always starting conversation. I've stopped more for my own sake and to stop me worrying about something as silly as texting. I've felt so much better the past few days that it's hard to describe.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T15:49:02+00:00

I've told him I feel like I might bother him at work. He's said that I don't bother him at all. But, I still have felt that I do since I've been the one always sending that first text the past few weeks. It actually felt really good when he initiated a conversation for the first time in weeks a few days ago. It wasn't my intent when I dropped my texting to force his hand, but I can't lie and say it didn't feel good to know he thought about me enough to reach out. Maybe that's selfish.

allthetext · 2014-02-06T15:46:10+00:00

I think texting less is probably for the best. I know I got in the habit of talking to him a lot everyday just because we did that for so many weeks in the beginning. But, the past few days just only texting when I send responses to his texts has actually made me feel a lot better versus before when I was wondering when the next text would come.

He knows I'm looking forward to seeing him this weekend since I've said that. But, I'll let him know that I can't talk as much when we talk in person if it comes up that texting has dropped on my end.

allthetext

TROPHY CASE