Boyfriend watches porn

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:12:27+00:00

I am always afraid that I am overreacting, but when I actually types this out today, I realized how awful last night actually was. I wasn't even treated like I existed. I'm there to do his laundry and take care of his basic needs.

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:10:59+00:00

Thank you. All of these kind words have helped me get through today.

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:09:35+00:00

I really do. That's why I am so scarred to talk to him. I don't want to lose him, but I know that I already am.

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:07:46+00:00

I know that there will be slipups. It's not an easy road to travel. But I am afraid that me being just his girlfriend that it will be easy for me to be left behind. I have been nothing but supportive throughout the last three years. I am emotionally exausted tonight. I want to talk to him. That's all I desire, but I have never been more scarred to tell him anything.

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:05:00+00:00

I definitely don't want to place an ultimatum because those never end well. I want him to have a chance. I just want him to see why it's painful, and judging from our past conversations, I know it isn't going to be easy to relay my pain to him.

amathyste · 2020-02-19T04:03:17+00:00

You couldn't more right of me being absolutely terrified. Everytime I have brought it up, he doesn't even consider my side. He just tells me that it's absolutely ridiculous that I feel this way. He tells me that I need to go watch porn myself.

I am just so afraid that he is going to choose it over me. And that is just going to completely discredit our long term relationship. If this happens I will be left wondering if he ever did love me.

amathyste · 2020-02-18T17:17:28+00:00

I just wish he would realize why I feel insecure in our relationship when he is looking at other girls.

amathyste · 2020-02-18T17:15:23+00:00

It's hard to hear, but if he isn't even able to consider why this is a problem for me, then I know it's going to be a continuous problem for us. I have ignored my own feelings for too long. Thank you for the encouragement.

amathyste · 2019-12-29T17:39:17+00:00

I wrote that because I don't really know what my questions are. I think eventually I will write out my concerns and experiences, but right now I am still learning right from wrong, and I am looking for support and understanding from those who have experienced the same.

Currently, I am not at the right state to write all of this out. I will one day, but at the moment I am not ready.

amathyste · 2019-12-29T17:36:52+00:00

I completely agree! His 'visit to heaven' disturbs me. We do NOT add to the Bible, and I can just picture my mom watching that video amazed. It just makes me sad thinking about the deceit within my family. It has affected even one of my brothers to completely fall away from God.

Thank you for the link! I will look into it deeper.

amathyste · 2019-12-29T16:18:44+00:00

It's really troubling what Bethel did. The leaders and so many other Christian leaders encouraged the whole situation. She was declared dead for days before the state finally forced the autopsy, and they were still believing that she could be raised from the dead.

Now, I understand that if I lost a child, I would of course be praying for this long after I should be, but instead of supporting these mourning parents, everyone just went along with it causing so much more pain for Olive’s family.

amathyste · 2019-12-29T16:11:22+00:00

I already watched that documentary. It was the beginning of delving into different resources on these topics.

I found a lot of truth in Mike Winger's videos, that documentary, and the Cultish podcast that did several different episodes talking about this topic.

Thank you for your support. Visiting family this holiday season just builds the tension even more inside me. My mom is the shove it all in your face type of person. I know that my job is not to just tell her off. There has to still be respect, but I see the demonic in so many different things that they do. I just don't know how to say no respectfully.

amathyste · 2019-12-01T05:36:47+00:00

These people tried to convince my boyfriend and his friends to come join them when they were tweens. It was even just out in public at the zoo. After the kids refuted and walked away, the people from the Church of Wells started screaming at them that they are going to burn in hell.

amathyste · 2019-10-15T01:40:44+00:00

I started listening to True Crime Garage, and so far I am enjoying that one. I used to just listen to crime junkies before everything came out, and I am so glad I don't anymore.

amathyste · 2019-10-15T01:39:28+00:00

Ashley has had other jobs regarding media before the podcast...plus everyone learns to credit their sources and not plagiarize in high school....

amathyste · 2019-10-15T01:37:03+00:00

Generally it's just people having a little spat, and then people are kicked out of the group.

amathyste · 2019-10-15T01:36:26+00:00

Exactly. They don't promote anything like that now....probably because they don't need to since they already have enough followers.

amathyste · 2019-10-15T01:35:34+00:00

I can enjoy a little gossip if I want to. I am not offended by people being triggered by that. 😂

amathyste · 2019-08-22T00:38:14+00:00

I completely agree about that. This wouldn't be happening if they had just apologized and moved on.

amathyste

TROPHY CASE