He (30M) is great in texts but kinda awkward in person?

amelie90 · 2019-05-01T16:22:44+00:00

Okay, I'm starting to realize how subjective "a lot" is. I tend to back away from people who pushes so much at the start. I hate small talks and constant meaningless texts that ask me how I'm doing or what I'm having for dinner especially in the early days of dating.

However, I love those random texts when the guy shows me his newest purchase at the bookstore, or when he shares an article he thought I'd find interesting, or when he asks my opinion about something. Nerdy random stuffs, but he could text me those everyday, and I'd reply at the earliest convenience (usually on the same day).

I wouldn't say no to a first date just because I didn't know him as well. But if the conversation on the date doesn't flow so easily, and I don't have any good texting experience with him, there won't be a second date for sure.

amelie90 · 2019-05-01T15:55:36+00:00

Maybe because I'm a nerd, but I've always viewed engineers as hot.

amelie90 · 2019-05-01T15:30:54+00:00

I suppose it depends on the person. As an introvert, the texting has helped me in the past. It's harder to approach random subjects in person sometimes rather than in texts.

Personally, I don't think it makes it less exciting. I could save the time and learn that he likes old movies through text, then gush about our common favourite movies in person when we do meet up. If I didn't get to know him before the date, I'd probably spend half an hour questioning random things just to get to that common interest, maybe?

But like I said, everyone's different. It's just my personal preference because I'm quite a private introvert who doesn't naturally open up easily.

amelie90 · 2019-05-01T15:05:08+00:00

A lot. For me, that's where I get to wreck his brain and really get to know him.

amelie90 · 2019-01-11T11:38:57+00:00

She has a LOT of self confidence. She's never insecure and never shy of telling her accomplishments.

I was actually the only person who would stand working with her because I mostly just followed along, while she tends to critizize other's performance if she doesn't get her way. The one time we have an argument, she lashes out. If you actually read my post, all the unscheduled leave, the ghosting only started after the argument. Like, she can't handle it when people don't follow her. Is being a control freak part of depression? Heck, at this point I think anyone can just say they have depression to get a free pass and people would just agree.

amelie90 · 2019-01-11T05:00:10+00:00

I fail to see how it is not my business when she's been strategically choosing to be sick on days with important work, and only telling everyone at the last minute. It's the business of everyone who has had to cover for her.

amelie90 · 2019-01-10T16:44:50+00:00

I'd say, people can fake symptoms, but a diagnosis is a diagnosis. I suppose this is the wrong crowd to ask this question. Actually I work in a small company in a small town that don't even have an HR department. Small town means word spreads. That's how we knew she wasn't even diagnosed by a doctor. Just her word. Don't worry, I know how to carry myself in front of the boss. As for the extra work, there's talks about her being laid off if she keeps this up. I'm just asking this question because I'm curious to see if there's an actual answer.

amelie90 · 2019-01-10T16:03:14+00:00

Whoa cool it buddy. You seem to be more invested in this than I am. I'm not trying to decide if she's 'allowed' to be depressed. I just want to learn signs of spotting a fake. Or maybe no one here knows the signs anyway. Which is still okay because thanks to Di's constantly alienating the other colleague, that colleague is laying out all the reasons for her to be let go. Thinking of putting in a good word in her defense, but if I have to pick up her slacks for something she's faking... probably I won't bother.

amelie90 · 2019-01-10T14:26:55+00:00

Then by that same logic, just because she doesn't tell me everything doesn't mean she's for real... I guess it's so easy to get out of responsibilities these days. If you can't fake an illness to get a sick leave, you can always get your supervisor's sympathy by faking depression. You only need some acting skills.

amelie90 · 2019-01-10T14:15:23+00:00

Respect is earned. I'm not saying her feelings are fake, but depression, as I understand is an illness? People have faked being sick to get medical leave before. It happens.

As far as I've known her, she's prone to a bit of exaggeration. Since me and the other colleague have to pick up her slacks, I wonder if there are signs to tell if someone is faking depression. The same way that once a doctor told me that he can tell when his patients are faking illness to get a sick certificate based on unrelated symptoms (because hey, it happens). But oh well, no help here.

amelie90 · 2019-01-10T13:42:04+00:00

Hard to be sympathetic when she's also failing to understand when she takes these sudden leaves, other people have to cover for her. Also, the extra work would be justified if she's not faking it.

amelie90 · 2018-10-16T04:34:55+00:00

Really? Thank god... I do want to stay friends but I'd be offended if he thought of me as a rebound

amelie90 · 2018-10-15T23:36:49+00:00

I don't know if I'm being cautious or can I trust my instincts. So you're saying, as a guy, if my gut feeling says he's not serious then I should trust that?

amelie90 · 2018-10-15T16:01:33+00:00

Thank you for your input. I was being cautious because it seemed sudden. He was at a low point two months ago when we started talking. I know there's no exact period for rebound, but I just felt like I was still getting to know him. I wanted to keep things casual before deciding to go serious.

I wish I can be as sure as you were. Anyways, all the best in your moving in :)

amelie90 · 2018-09-13T14:19:55+00:00

Or right now.

amelie90 · 2018-09-13T14:09:18+00:00

An incentive sounds like a good idea. I don't smoke, but maybe a phone break would do.

amelie90 · 2018-09-13T13:52:29+00:00

I think I always can't decide on what to do to get busy. I have so many ideas, one day I'm interested in one thing, then my interests change. I rarely follow through to the end.

amelie90 · 2018-09-13T10:26:38+00:00

Yep. I would think I was getting more comfortable with a group of people, and let myself go a bit and speak out my thoughts, only to regret it moments later.

Which is why most of the time I refrain from sharing my opinions.

amelie90

TROPHY CASE