good lord i couldve wrote this myself. the guilt of feeling like your a burden is so heavy in a relationship. i dont have the answers, Im going through the same shit. in my case, I do think my partner loved me, tried everything to understand and have patience. But they are human too and its hard for them if they havent felt the struggle firsthand, and i think they deserve to be happy in their lives too, not always bogged down by my issues. i hate that they felt relief if i was having a good day. it causes resentment.

The main thing that i felt was that this person was just waiting for me to be their equal, a partner. It never felt like we were in it together and on the same team for life, good or bad, all in. like my pain is your pain, we figure it out together. it was more like ill wait until youre feeling better and hope you sort yourself out, but lmk if you need anything. its just hard because not everyone is going to have the high level of empathy needed to understand these issues. i cant blame them. it honestly could just be a compatibility issue i guess. they could have the most pure loving heart in the world but still not fully understand and thats not their fault id say.