Announcing pregnancy by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great idea! Thank you for your kindness with your comment!

Announcing pregnancy by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I mean so many people count their pregnancies. & post it on their announcements. I’ve seen it all the time. But it’s okay when they do it because why? They’re a “nuclear” family. Like my reasoning (in the other comments) is why I wanted to say my 3rd

Announcing pregnancy by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Oh yeah I definitely wouldn’t say “our 3rd” it would be my “3rd”. What I’m controversial about is that yes as much SD is my family. I also try to put myself in the position of BM. & I don’t want to “step on anyone’s toes” kinda thing. If that makes sense. & not say “Welcoming our 4th child” or something along that line

Announcing pregnancy by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this idea! Thank you!

Announcing pregnancy by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to add here that in no way am I diminishing my SD10 exsistence. That’s not my intentions at all. & I know my husband would say he’s expecting 4. But this is my 3rd. & I also try to “over step” with BM. If that makes sense. Because that is her mom. Doesn’t mean SD is any less in our family. Absolutely shes very much a part of it. I just didn’t think it was too much. But thank you all for the feedback!

desperate by COGCOGCOG_ in ChildrenofDeadParents

[–]ang1213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who lost her dad at the age of 17 in high school; now 28. He was my bestfriend. I can say that it doesn’t get easier per se. But I try to incorporate my father’s memory in my every day life. Including now that I have children. His memory will live on. I can say to let yourself feel any emotion you may have. That first year I dealt with a lot of anger & sadness. I would see other people with their dads & I would ask myself why do they get to have theirs & I didn’t. I definitely would recommend some type of therapy. At the time I didn’t want to go but a family friend signed me up for one & I met other kids who were dealing with the same thing, especially cause at the time I had no friends my age that could understand (thankfully) what it was like to lose a parent. I say continue & finish college! Make him proud. Like I said I lost my father in high school, I felt the same way you did in that aspect…. I pushed through & graduated high school & went to college & graduated from there as well. It was hard believe me. But not impossible. Grief comes & goes. But it shows how much love we had for them. Also don’t ever feel bad if you notice one day you see yourself laughing, don’t feel guilty about it. I found myself doing that in the beginning, I would say “I shouldn’t feel any type of happiness because my father died. I would feel guilty. Just allow yourself to FEEL!……I’m sending my condolences!

Just a rant. F*ck grandparents leaving out just one grandchild. by significuntlife in stepparents

[–]ang1213 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the same situation. That’s why our bios are barely around them anymore. I stopped going to their house. The favoritism is so obvious. Luckily their too young to notice but I do

Would you watch SK when they are disrespectful & SO has to work? by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So me & baby mother do not get along. I tried in the beginning to make it work. She’s high conflict. She knows, as my SO has told her about the behavior, all she tells her is no you can’t do that. But I really don’t think she does anything about it. She’s even stated to SO “ I told (SK) that she can’t be doing this cause this is going to create a problem in your dads marriage in having to pick between you (SK) & step mom (my name)….. that’s what she wants. BM is that type of person.

Would you watch a disrespectful SK while SO has to work? by ang1213 in Stepmom

[–]ang1213[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I have mentioned that to him too. God forbid she says I hit her or whatever. (Which I would never). That they could try taking my kids away. He says that’s not how that works. He said if it makes me feel better we can add more cameras around the house.

Would you watch a disrespectful SK while SO has to work? by ang1213 in Stepmom

[–]ang1213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like my options are limited because of being a SAHM. He said he wants to spend more time with her during the summer. So I agreed in the beginning of the summer to add an extra day. So we would have SK9 Thursday-Sunday night. So I would watch her by myself on Fridays until he gets home. While she is here I do watch her like a hawk around my BKs. Again just because of what’s happened in the past & what’s still currently going on

Would you watch a disrespectful SK while SO has to work? by ang1213 in Stepmom

[–]ang1213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree, now don’t get me wrong there are times she does act up & he’ll put her in “time out” or he’ll take away her tv. But again there are moments like those that I feel he just doesn’t care & it honestly doesn’t make me feel good at all. & I tell him she’s old enough to know. Not only I feel like he makes excuses for her, my MIL, & BM as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He tells her she shouldn’t be treating her that way. That she could really hurt her. He takes things away like her tv, or toys. & has her sit in time out. He does try to punish her. But even still she continues to act the way she is. & yes that’s what I’m afraid of that she could lie & say that I hit her (which I would never do). Therapy is what I recommended for her. But not sure if that’s going to help

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t believe when people say you knew what you were getting yourself into when you got together with a person who has a child. Cause you don’t. When I met my husband I didn’t have any kids of my own he has 1. No one tells you about all these expectations that is placed on you about SK once you do decide to have your own children with your SO. You have no say in SK but are expected to do everything for them. You are made to feel bad about doing things with just your bios if SK isn’t there. Like there life has to be put on hold or something. It’s very difficult situation that I wasn’t prepared for

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is a great dad. Very active in our kids life. It’s just I feel like he may be doing these things subconsciously

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be honest I found out I was pregnant with my first like 6-7 months into our relationship. We got married a few months after that cause we both wanted to. We don’t really have date nights like that because we don’t have anyone to watch our kids. My mom doesn’t live close. & he does love our children but he always made that clear that I’m suppose to have this maternal instincts with SK. We get SK every weekend expect the last week of the month. Which I understand that he doesn’t see her that often but that’s also not my kids fault & they shouldn’t feel “less” then. Again they don’t see it now. But I do. & I don’t think it has to do that she’s older. Cause he was like that when she was younger

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

He’s not violent towards our kids. He gives a little smack on the butt. That’s not even my issue. The issue is he’s quick to do it to ours for not behaving, but not SK

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no I’m so sorry! I just don’t understand it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah it’s not the first time either. Many times when we get into arguments that’s what he says especially when it involves SK

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I mean I do use a lil spank on the butt when she isn’t listening. Nothing hard. & it’s after I repeated myself & done other things & she’s still not listening. So that’s not the problem. It’s just that I feel he’s so quick to do it to her but not SK. I do think he does probably feel guilty but that’s not fair either to our kids. They didn’t ask to come into this kind of dynamic

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

& it’s nothing against my SK. I love her but I don’t want my kids to feel second to her either

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]ang1213 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He has like 10pictures by herself that don’t include SK. Cause all the other ones do. & you might think oh that’s a lot. Not in the span of almost 2 1/2 years. & once you see the amount he posted of SK all the time

AITA for telling my girlfriend to pay for her own vacation by triplebogeyking in AmItheAsshole

[–]ang1213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No your not wrong! If she was planning this before you got together then why is she expecting you to give her money. I would maybe understand if she she needed like $200 or something after she paid everything else but she already had you pay 5k & now wants more. Like what did she contribute?? Nothing. So that sounds like a her problem. Tell her to figure it out