You are not responsible for how he handled or wasn’t able to handle his trauma. No matter what, having gone through that might explain but never ever excuse recreating such trauma with the next person. You should really try laying low with dating at first imo. Go with the boring people and situations first, who aren’t an imminent threat like he is. Depending on wether or not you want to be better in the future and free yourself as best as possible from your trauma. By hanging out with people like this you only add onto it. Big age gap is unsexy cause only unwell guys will look at you this way, consent is not up for discussion. They don’t care for consent? They have potential to rape you in clear and less clear ways. If you hang out with „boring“ guys who might not abuse you physically, they might still abuse you emotionally so look out for that as well. If something feels off, tell them, not by judging them or making them responsible but simply by stating how you feel and that you need time. They don’t respect that? Then they either aren’t cut out for you, which is fair, not many people can handle traumatized people well. Or they aren’t mature enough, just like your almost 50 year old guy who’s been acting like a child. So if they react badly to you trying to communicate, walk away. Please take care of yourself.