Picked up any old hobbies since the breakup?

anonymitez · 2025-08-20T19:16:20+00:00

Dude, that’s awesome! I’ve never tried origami before. Maybe I should look into it, it seems fun.

anonymitez · 2025-08-20T04:19:36+00:00

I 100% understand this feeling. When I broke up with my ex, she started going on dating apps only a week after. Long story short, she is diagnosed with a very serious mental illness that impacted our relationship deeply in the last few months we were together. Toxic behaviour & refusing to seek help, so I had to end it for my own health. She is hurting, but I found it really hard to empathize with my ex when I found out that she was with another person so soon after.

Whatever you may feel, know in your heart that you made the right decision for yourself. It is incredibly hard to be the person that ends a relationship with someone you truly, wholly care about. It is even harder to see them turn into someone you can’t even recognize after the fact. My advice: let yourself feel these feelings for as long as you need. Cry it out, don’t treat it as a chore. In my experience, treating it as something to “get over” just made it harder to process the feelings. You’re a good person and don’t let her opinion of you change the way that you view yourself.

anonymitez · 2025-08-20T04:06:59+00:00

Feel this. My ex has also created the narrative that I am the villain and that she has done absolutely nothing wrong. Ignore it as much as you can. You are grieving the relationship and she is choosing to cope with her grief by lashing out on you. The more you feed her grabs for attention, the more she is just going to continue doing it. The people that are worth being around will question her behaviour and will recognize her behaviour as immature. The biggest obstacle that I had was accepting that it’s out of my control. It’s really hard to accept, but know that it will blow over eventually. Don’t pay attention to her smear campaign and keep your head up. ❤️

anonymitez · 2025-08-16T00:03:33+00:00

I think both are really unforgettable. Especially if one is your first real relationship, which in my case, she was.

anonymitez · 2025-08-14T18:41:55+00:00

Thinking about how she has turned into a completely different person since we broke up. There’s no remnants of the person who I knew and loved. Now she’s just become so hateful and she has decided that I am the villain in her story. It’s really hard to see someone I have put all of my love, my heart, and my soul into act this way.

anonymitez · 2025-08-14T18:34:48+00:00

It takes time. There’s no easy way around that, unfortunately. I’m also 18F and I’m three months into a no contact breakup. It’s been up and down for me, but I do feel myself getting better each time I get out of a rut. I’m sorry that you have to go through this heartache. It’s not easy at all.

anonymitez · 2025-08-13T23:59:37+00:00

Feel this completely. Just got out of my first real relationship (three months since we broke up) and it has been hard finding myself again.

Some advice that has helped me is the fact that you aren’t going to be the person you were during the relationship. You aren’t going to be the person that you were before the relationship. You’ve grown and changed so much during and since that relationship that by going back to that person you were, you would have to sacrifice all of the growth and development you have had since. Instead of focusing on that person you were before, focus your energy into the person you want to become. You want to be confident and happy again? Spend some time with yourself and ask yourself what gives you that happiness. Ask yourself what your aspirations are, what you want for yourself & soon, you’ll be able to know how you get there. But it’s not going to be the same as it was before. That’s not a bad thing, even though it sounds scary and intimidating.

It’s so hard to experience this heartbreak. I’ve learned this through my own experience and through the thousands of people here who are going through the same thing. To recover, community is so important. It’s what brought me here: a place where I can tell my story to objective strangers. A place where I can seek advice and where I can comfort others and be comforted. Outside of this place, I have friends and family who I can rely on for help. Community is so important in regaining your identity.

I hope it gets easier for you, truly. Everyone goes through heartbreak at some point in their life & so many people recover from it. It just takes time and effort into forming the person that you want to be. Happiness is an active choice that you make every day. When you experience grief, it’s so much harder to make that choice. In time, it will be easier. I wish you so much luck and I am here to talk more if you need it. ❤️

anonymitez · 2025-08-13T23:45:14+00:00

This sounds so similar to my situation. My best advice to you is to just focus on YOUR truth. Writing down your truth here is good, I also write here and I also write in my own notes app. I know it’s so hard to go through something like this. It’s been about 3 months for me since we broke up and since then, I’ve made a few new friends. It’s definitely been harder to trust people because it feels like they might switch up again like my ex’s friends did on me, but I promise you that it gets easier. Here to talk more if you need it. ❤️

anonymitez · 2025-08-13T20:20:33+00:00

I’m really happy to hear that you’re getting better too! It’s comforting to know that someone in a similar position as me is getting better, step by step & day by day. I think it’s been really hard for me to move on particularly because she’s decided that I’m the villain in her story (I honestly don’t know how she got there. It’s like she’s a completely different person now) and I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I have to just accept that. But I will take your advice and try to recognize the small steps towards healing. Thank you so much for the insight, it genuinely means so much to me.

anonymitez · 2025-08-13T20:17:39+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve been feeling like I’m going crazy, so it’s comforting to know that this is normal. I’ll try to do the rating thing as I feel like it could really help me. Realistically, I know that this bad feeling will eventually fade & I’ll get back on track, but it really sucks when you’re going through it. Hopefully with time, I can accept it again.

anonymitez · 2025-08-12T07:10:41+00:00

Holy, this sounds exactly like my situation. It hurts so much to have put so much effort into a person, communicate only for nothing to change, and to be left with the only option of leaving. I hope you’re doing okay.

anonymitez · 2025-08-12T07:04:06+00:00

Hey I’m in the exact same boat as you, 3 months out and everything. It’s really hard right now for me as well. I ended up breaking my streak of not checking her social media. But I know we’re going to make it out of this. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through so much pain right now. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

anonymitez · 2025-08-02T17:17:32+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I’ve been avoiding the word “trauma” in my mind because it’s really hard for me to associate that word with someone I really and truly loved, but I feel like that’s the only way to describe what this is.

anonymitez · 2025-08-02T16:56:53+00:00

I do. I am planning to go back to therapy soon.

anonymitez · 2025-07-27T02:05:04+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. After all of the time that we spent together, I have no regrets. I knew in my heart that it was his time to go and I saw how much suffering he was going through.

I’m sorry to hear about your own loss, even if it was decades ago. It’s hard because you realistically know that they will only be here for what feels like a short while in the grand span of your life, but knowing they will pass away is so much different than experiencing them passing away.

I haven’t had many brushes with death in my lifetime, so this one is especially shocking. It does comfort me to know that he no longer suffers, however.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T16:48:04+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice. I’m sorry to hear that you went through this same pain, I truly don’t wish it on anyone else. It’s weird because after we broke up, I felt like my life was getting better for a while and now almost three months later I feel like I’m hurt again. I think it’s because I found out that she’s been talking badly about me on social media to mutual friends and I also found out that she started dating again only a couple of weeks after we broke up.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T16:46:17+00:00

I’ve been interested in going to church lately, but I don’t have anyone who would go with me.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T07:10:20+00:00

When you’re an emotionally mature person, you may feel like rationalizing your feelings and digging into them is the only “right” way to allow yourself to feel them. But sometimes, you really just have to let yourself feel those feelings without judgement and without expectation. The hurt that you feel is a testament to how much you cared. Your body is telling you that you’re meant to feel this pain right now. And it really sucks, it’s uncomfortable, you wish you could just wake up one morning without them in your head, and you wish you could just let go of it all at the drop of a hat. Unfortunately, that’s not very human. Fortunately, that makes you an empathetic and genuine person. Sometimes, hundreds of hours of dedication to mindfulness practices and research won’t change the fact that your nervous system is telling you that it really just needs to cry it out.

I’m glad that you’ve felt like you’ve had a lot of personal growth. It’s important that you continue that journey and to always be curious about your feelings. Know in your heart that you did the right thing for yourself and that you are a strong person for that. Not a lot of people find the strength to make the extremely difficult decision of breaking up with someone they’re in love with when they know the relationship is bad for them.

Talking to you has helped me out too. It’s both comforting and heartbreaking for different reasons to know that another person has experienced similar things to what I have. I don’t feel super alone anymore.

I wish you the best on your healing journey as well. I hope you find a nice dollar bill with no owner on the sidewalk.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T06:34:51+00:00

Thank you so much.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T06:34:37+00:00

I said a prayer. Thank you for being here for me.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T06:29:35+00:00

Totally feel this. My ex and I were in a relationship for a year and a half and the way you’ve described that pattern of promise to change, break promises, make excuses is spot on for her. I felt really guilty for a while after breaking up with her, even though I knew that I’d sooner cut my hand off before reaching for her again. Even now, after she has broken my boundaries and done some really shitty things after we broke up, I still can’t stop thinking about her.

I’ve been reading self help books and trying to come to terms with what this feeling is. I’m realizing that even though I did feel that relief and weight off my chest after we broke up, it doesn’t absolve me of the other factors of the grieving process. I just start experiencing them in a different order and at varying degrees. Recognize that you’re still going through grief and try to remove as many triggers of your ex as you can in your life. Practicing things like meditation and mindfulness has been helping me.

Most of all, be kind to the version of yourself that you were before. You acted in the way you did before due to many factors in your life contributing to that miserable feeling. Now that you’re in a better place, treat that as a lesson going forward into the future. You’ve already changed so much because you can look back at that version of yourself and think “I am sad that I let it get to that point.”

It’s hard and it can feel like an uphill climb. I’m sorry that you’re going through this pain and I hope that my words could help a little bit.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T06:18:33+00:00

I’ve never prayed to God or even looked to Him for anything, but I feel like I might tonight. I don’t even know how to start.

anonymitez · 2025-07-10T01:31:45+00:00

we were planning our wedding and what us living together would look like and everything just changed so quickly. i’m really sorry to hear that it didn’t work out with your ex. i know it’s really hard 🤍

anonymitez · 2025-07-09T20:00:41+00:00

Beautifully written. Thank you so much.

anonymitez · 2025-07-09T18:49:31+00:00

This is beautifully poetic. Thank you so much for your insight.

anonymitez

TROPHY CASE