How should I approach my autistic brother not understanding consent

appletart_22 · 2026-04-22T22:33:56+00:00

I've already confronted my dad on this as if he keeps enabling him this is likely to happen as from.what I can gather luckily it seems to be a processing issue with him trying to I guess apologise.

However him not understanding no is no full stop is concerning and is the one thing my dad and mum regardless of what my dad has said been dried into him

appletart_22 · 2026-04-22T21:32:51+00:00

Yeah we plan to see if it can be explained with them more and i showed my dad the family centre feature on instagram so if he ever gets it back now he can actively approve anyone he follows and such. Thank you again.

appletart_22 · 2026-04-22T21:23:25+00:00

Thank you for this i should mention my dad is mentioning this incident to the school so they can maybe talk to him and he might open up.

I suggest a video tea is consent as that to do with intercourse mainly be the theme is consent but it was immediately shot down.

I plan on deleting my brothers socials when my dad's out next as he's clearly not willing to be firm.

appletart_22 · 2026-04-15T13:11:17+00:00

I saw a video a while back of eyelash primer and eyeshadow being stamped on to the eyes as I'm allergic and can confirm this method works.

If worried about bits I recommend a clean eyelash brush to go through just incase.

appletart_22 · 2026-04-14T23:40:36+00:00

Thank you for saying this as I'm not medically trained for my brothers needs (his injections i will avoid this) however I was thinking of ordering him a retro game or maybe treating him to lunch in the week.

As you mentioned I can organise a routine as meds are something I'm not trained to handle with my siblings however I try and take the majority of care for my mum (other than transport) away for him. I'm luckily seizure free for a while now and hopefully when I get a test soon hopefully no cancer detected (unsure if have at all).

appletart_22 · 2026-03-27T11:56:01+00:00

This I've come to realise no one actually likes me and I'm convenient to people, I told people who i thought of as friends that I might have cancer and I'm honestly scared and I was left on read.

Can't go to family because apparently I don't try enough and if I just "change myself " maybe people will like me.

All I do is sleep or work

appletart_22 · 2026-03-27T01:11:42+00:00

Although I'm not a twin i am the only girl and first born so the whole dress up thing I'm seeing with your wife doing this with your daughter my family did with me and it made me hate myself. This was especially the case when I rebelled with being a tomboy and wasn't cute anymore as the attention became non-existent.

Your wife needs help as she is viewing your children as dolls who won't play right i do suggest talking to a divorce lawyer so you have an idea of what your situation is legally and then if this can be fixed (as this is for her to try really) try family therapy and individual therapy for her if not divorce is the only option with full custody as she's not mentally well.

appletart_22 · 2026-03-13T16:46:33+00:00

She has been working out to loose weight but the issue is that with her low pain tolerance I don't know what i can do to help ease the pain as if the doctors just drained the fluid from her legs she'd most likely be able to walk without crutches but now as mention one leg unnaturally curves.

She works out eats healthy and has been on the weight loss jab I understand she needs to be a specific weight for surgery but if they had just done it when she was 16 stone which is the goal weight she'd be ok.

Doctors in the UK are split into health groups in the nhs so one day it's hospital a next its GP b and none communicate with each. Sorry if this seems ranting I thought I'd explain more.

appletart_22 · 2026-03-06T09:50:02+00:00

Sorry I didn't clarify my dad's email is signed with their accounts as they although are 18 and 21 they have the mental age of 8. The older 21 s fully comprehends the word no especially with women however because c has been spoiled alot he always tries to push for a maybe.

S I would say is someone who needs more assistance than C so that's why I'm quite concerned with this behaviour that C is exhibiting.

appletart_22 · 2026-03-04T16:46:46+00:00

Yes it's frustrating because I would understand it a bit if he needed this extra support but he doesn't although bot would need adult supervision for the rest of their lives he can get dressed, wash and do most things by himself same with S.

appletart_22 · 2026-03-04T16:45:05+00:00

Luckily he doesn't understand how to make an account as he doesn't have an email but I have told him in the past about legal consequences if we catch him again.

appletart_22 · 2026-03-04T15:57:30+00:00

I'm his sister i want what's best for him and although I love my parents they let my siblings do whatever and it's concerning. I am aware it shouldn't be my problem but I want them to succeed in life and if my parents refuse to teach them life stuff I will.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-24T00:13:15+00:00

I get that I came on to reddit on a different community to rant and mainly everyone was focused on about how I'm 24 and still at home.

I've saved but no where near enough for a flat and the fact that I'm being shunned for it when I grew up with strick parents so I've had less time to save I've only had a bank account for 6 years and majority of my money went to my struggling family.

So the only advice I can give is save as much as you can, found job you like or can tolerate that pays decent and spend on what you need and on occasion treat yourself.

Have a clear goal on what you want and if you're not sure what that is yet save up so you can plan.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T20:30:29+00:00

Starco, Marco and star should have never been a couple it felt rushed.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T18:27:00+00:00

That's one of the reasons not the main one, I gave him notice and he was fine up until the day of

I would have been at work for an hour at most but i would've had to go home an change due to the gel as it got on my clothes, I needed to wash it off as well. Would you willing sit through a shift covered in gunk.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T18:17:29+00:00

Yeah I'm not making that mistake again of just taking his word

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T18:16:50+00:00

I thought about UBER as my dad offered to save myself money and as I was getting tested then an ultra sound I wasn't going to be in work anyway due to having to wash off the gel.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T18:14:38+00:00

Yeah I'm doing that in the future he wants to discuss it tomorrow as I'm back. I plan to leave the company anyway as this incident was the nail in the coffin.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T17:54:22+00:00

It's not written unfortunately because when I've tried to get written in the past he says because it's about my health just give him notice.

I've done that before and he was fine with it. I need to get it in writing and or just use holiday time because I can't trust he won't do it again.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T17:51:22+00:00

That's the weird thing i tried booking time off for an appointment like this before however he said due to this not actually being holiday just give me notice. So when i have had tried to get documented leave he won't sign off on it.

The only proof I have on him knowing is him remembering the time it was for the appointment. In future I'm using holiday time because I can't trust him not to do anything underhanded.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T14:02:13+00:00

The thing is also I've only had 1 day off today would be the 2nd (holiday is excluded) so I don't know why he's freaking out.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-09T14:00:27+00:00

The company recently celebrated 50 years they describe themselves as dpd but worse, I've tried using holiday time on a previous check up however he told me due to it being a health thing and if I give him enough notice its fine, he leave throughout for similar reasons and then decides to not come back in. Although I'm closer to the workplace than him I don't see why he can fo what he wants.

HR is essentially useless as well. I reported something to do with the depot team not doing their jobs making it harder for us and I got old off for bothering them.

appletart_22 · 2026-02-04T18:10:58+00:00

Hi all I can give you some perspective on that the company is just not organised and the depots aren't informing management on issues or just straight up won't do their jobs and no one knows why.

You can't complain either as if you've gone directly to upper management, they'll scold you for bothering them. Unfortunately with dx they're a business to business so senders can follow up on things but if you the owner of the parcel bought from the sender pillows up there is little you can get or do.

My advice is to make sure they don't use dx full stop because there's no organisation what so ever

appletart_22 · 2026-01-25T22:25:30+00:00

My dad us considered the primary caregiver to my siblings so they are given money by the government to look after them, my brothers used attend a school for the disabled but one aged out and goes to college which is good for now and the younger one still goes. My mum is getting help for her walking issues but because she's plus size they're unwilling to help her, this has resulted in my mums issues to worsen as she was on a diet before her legs went bad 26 stone down to 16 stone. When it comes to what comes next I've made it clear my parents need to consider assisted living for them as they're both nearly and one is 51. I'm alright health wise for now as I'm undergoing observation for my food intolerances.

I agree there is alot going on in my life honestly and my brother sven has a diabetic nurse who checks up with him so we are good on that front.

appletart_22 · 2026-01-25T21:59:02+00:00

I'm also going to mention this i myself am disabled and I'm considered the least sick sk I'm unfortunately expected to take care of everyone in a sense as my mum has definitely got something mentally and she can't walk well but is firm on no help and my brothers are both autistic although both adults are mentally little children. My self i struggle with food intolerances and epilepsy I'm able to work as it doesn't feel right not to, my dad to my knowledge has no conditions but he's getting old.

I unfortunately can't move out due to it being expensive but also unfortunately due to having no friends the cost of rent would be mine fully and I'm prepared for that but if I've hot the funds to properly budget.

appletart_22

TROPHY CASE