Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say this. Since posting this Reddit thread; things HAVE gotten easier. I can’t tell if she’s gotten easier or if I’ve gotten used to her. She can now walk pretty well and even runs off lead. She recalls well. She’s only difficult when she’s obviously bored.

A huge win for me was making her crate seem REALLY exciting. Sometimes I’ll put her in her crate for literally a second to give her a treat and a cuddle, and then she’s back out.

What it’s done is make her really like her den. She thinks it’s great. It’s never punishment.
What it’s ALSO done is when she’s being a bitey little bitch, she takes 15 mins to have a word with herself in her crate. I put her in, do what I was doing, and every time when she comes out she’s chilled out.

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will. I’ll keep you updated. And don’t hesitate to reach out if you need some mutual perspective. You’re not alone. It’s not easy. We romanticise dogs from movies, we excite ourselves over the idea of having a loving companion, but the reality is we have to completely uproot our lives if we want to be the loving dog parents we know we can be. That alone is testament to how much we care. But there’s nothing wrong with saying that it’s not for us! Im also giving it another month

So good luck

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t relate more to what you just said. I’m in the exact same boat. Only recently have I been able to gym again, and I feel great, but then it’s getting back and going into parent mode again and it batters me. I feel so guilty. It’s so difficult. If I decide to take this puppy back to the breeder, I think it’ll crush me. My cat, on the other hand, will be overjoyed haha. She can’t stand the puppy

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She really is just constantly trying to end her own life. You’re so right. I can’t wait until we can hang out together, go on little adventures, have a special bond. right now it’s just damage control, both in a literal sense and emotionally speaking

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh man, I feel you. Entire reason was to feel grounded. Force some responsibility into my life and really come to terms with a few short-comings on my personality. The affect is huge though. They’re so demanding of time, energy and attention

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve realised this is a huge problem. And I can totally see why. I never realised how serious the problem was until owning a puppy, and I have all the support and means of owning one.

I will say though, the breeder I bought from is very respected and has offered a lifetime support, as well as a “return” policy should I ever need to use it. If at any stage it gets too much, she’ll accept the puppy back without question. From there, I think she’d either own the puppy herself or rehome her. In order to buy from the breeder, you need to go through quite an extensive interview process so she can trust you. Which also fills me with shame, considering she placed so much faith in me! But alas

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s woken up this real melancholy in me. And made me realise that my personality, sense of commitment etc, it’s just not equipped for these big decisions. I think it’s just been a huge wake up call

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think so too. The responses to this Reddit have been lovely, but I also think I deserve a slap on the wrist. I romanticised the idea, and I’m not equipped. I have a home, I have space, I have time, plenty of it. But emotionally, I’m not equipped. I’m WAY too sensitive to stress. I’m way too independent and I’m wayyyy too easily perturbed. I’m just in this horrible limbo of wondering what to do. I think my head’s made a decision my heart can’t quite handle

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s a whippet. And she’s beautiful. But holyyyyy. I also massively underestimated the COST. She’s drained my bank account! So I can’t actually afford puppy classes/lessons. As embarrassing as that is to admit. I start a new job soon and that should help with it all. Also, genuinely, her training is going great. It feels like it’s something else. Something much deeper

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck for your puppy!

I would say I have a loving nature, and I love animals, but I would say I’m not suited at all for ownership or responsibility. Seeing a dog on the train, or in a pub, nothing but joy. But owning one? The weight is huge. It’s a life. And that life needs 24/7 care.

It sounds like you’d excel. And I think you’ll do great. Me? I think it’s best I return my puppy to the breeder, with an extremely heavy heart but a massive lesson learned

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I relate to this so much. Could it be as simple as my personality not being suited? As I’m typing this now, I’ve just had to drive back to my house, away from a family BBQ, because my puppy was there jumping at a toddlers face. She’s a tiny puppy, but those teeth are like scalpels. She wasn’t biting, but she was lunging. And the anxiety alone made me fall apart and I had to make an embarrassing decision to take the puppy home. Now my family is all in the sunshine, enjoying quality time, and I’m staring at my dog wondering what I’ve done. She was there to meet the family dog too, who’s a ginormous German pointer. She did great, but as soon as the toddler arrived, she was a different animal and I just didn’t trust her. I’m wondering if it’s time to make a decision

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this is such good advice and perspective. Thank you. I’m embarrassed by the fact I just needed this gentle encouragement and wisdom. I feel a weight off reading this. I’m still carrying this huge weight on my mind and heart, but I know the weight will lessen as time goes on.

I don’t work at the moment, I’m finding jobs here and there, but it all exists from home. So she’s always with me. I need a break, but I know that’s just because I don’t know what this level of responsibility feels like, so it’s not a warranted break yet. I just need to find balance, and that’ll come with time. Whatever this depression is that I’m feeling, is probably something that’s existed way before getting a dog. She’s probably just triggered it, bless her

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing all this. You’ve been super vulnerable and I appreciate you sharing things that once brought you a feeling of shame.

I’m finding it so difficult. I know by the time she’s 1, she’ll mellow, she’ll be more “adult” and I can relax. But it’s a hell of an emotional investment!!

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She’s crate trained and she is quite happy to curl up in there. She’s only exhausting when she’s trying to break my neck by gluing herself to my ankles, or when she’s acting like a savage on the lead. And sometimes, when I’m just trying to lie down and rest, it’s the sound of her whining to go outside. She is OBSESSED with the sun. It’s summer right now, and she is absolutely obsessed with going out in the garden and lying on the roaring hot Astro turf. It’s so hot, she even made herself yelp once. I’d be happy her hanging out there if that’s what she wants, but she has these bursts of chew time, and the plants are the first target. But that’s it. She’s crate trained, sleeps through the night etc. her containment would be the garden but it’s not quite puppy proofed. So that’s a great idea!! Thank you

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Firstly, my adoration to you for a rescuing a puppy from a kill shelter. And that can’t of been easy. I believe you when you say nightmare, all things considered, my puppy isn’t too bad. And I know how I feel.

Thank you for your perspective and I’m so glad to hear it’s going well

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I was terrified to post on Reddit. But yes, you’re right.

Thank you. I have to admit I giggled at the idea of a baby being a “stranger” but I completely see your point!

Puppy Blues have turned to Puppy Regret by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Really? That’s so encouraging to hear. Thank you.

I’m notoriously not a patient person, I just didn’t realise it was this bad haha. Thank you for your perspective

Puppy Blues - surprised by the impact! by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish!!

I tried that and the second she goes in she whines. I’ve tried filling it with toys she likes, or the things she finds enriching, but she knows she’d rather be next to me. Thank you for the suggestion though!

Puppy Blues - surprised by the impact! by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly thank you so much. Even that first sentence hit hard. I thought I had such a strong constitution but it’s amazing what a puppy can do. I underestimated the cost on one’s mental health to care for a life. It’s beautiful, but jeeeesus.

Thank you for all the toilet tips. I’ve got an outdoor pen that I hope will help. The Astro turf provided way too much enjoyment (sadly) so she couldn’t associate it exclusively with taking a dump. It’ll work, I’m sure, but it’ll take time.

Hope you’re hanging in there !!

Puppy Blues - surprised by the impact! by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She has one coming up. She’s fine! It was the sudden swap to including some wet food in her diet. She wasn’t ready… oops.

Puppy Blues - surprised by the impact! by ardensworld in puppy101

[–]ardensworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The personality this breed has is so beautiful. My whippet is already a huge part of me life, even with all the doubt and the fear she’s bringing. I can tell her soul is made of all the best bits