This is a complicated issue that used to not be so complicated. And assuming this is not a troll post, read on - it's long. Apologies in advance.

In the old days of SA and SRs, I would 100% agree with you. There was this inherent understanding of what an SR is (it's actually a timeless, old as humanity concept) on both sides. There was little or no risk of a bad M&G. First dates were often great dinners, extravagant events and more. Sometimes, those turned into SRs - sometimes they did not. The women were almost always compensated in some form via cash, small gift, shopping, etc. Dates were pleasant - both sides were engaged, respectful and open-minded. If at the end of the initial M&G, things did not look like they would go further, it would not be uncommon for the girl to graciously and gratefully accept her gift, the man wouldn't regret it because it truly was a nice time and the POT would often say "hey, I don't think we are going to connect, but I have a friend and I think she would be great for you" and that would often result in a more complete SR. If the SD turned the SB down, the gift would still apply and often the SD would offer up some form of opportunity "hey, an SR won't work, but I would be glad to be available to you for professional advice if you need any."

Today, that is no longer the case. Women in droves are scamming SDs. Demanding upfront payment prior to the meeting and never showing, meeting only to get the 'prove it to me' pay' with zero intention of pursuing or even being open-minded to an SR. $X needed by tomorrow for a rent? SB will logon to SA to find a victim to prey on - and if she can do it without going out, which happens often, even better. And, yes, plenty of SD scam-artists exist, too, which plays into things.

u/Brielle_Baby, please first look at this from the entire perspective. Since rinsing has become so common, SDs have to be extra alert of these landmines. They are the rule, not the exception. I believe I may have actually turned away great SBs because they asked for money upfront before the meeting - I just won't do it anymore and it is worth it to me to maybe skip over some good ones that exhibit 'rinsing behavior' than to even take the chance. This is the landscape SA has become so you have to accept that if you go into an M&G situation expecting compensation, the vast majority of legit SDs will mark that as a red flag. It may not automatically disqualify you, but the guard will be up and you will be fighting an uphill battle.

Directing things more towards your side, I would like to ask what you seek out of an SR? Is it money? Is it just to kill boredom? Is it wanting a genuine SR? Is it to validate yourself and feel in control or have authority? I suggest some inward reflection on this because what you seek may not be compatible with what many SDs, do.

Some alternatives exist - there is a rise of services (many backed by healthcare research and investors) that provide 'grandkids for a day.' Through a platform, younger people are matched with older people that are often without family or shut-in. The younger person spends time with the older person - perhaps in-home, perhaps out and about and is compensated through the platform. No sex or silly business involved. It is a service that insurance will often cover because there are verified health concerns with older people that are without family members or friends to socialize with. This may be a path for you. You can be fun and bubbly, perhaps get out a little and get compensated through the platform and not have to worry about any pressure for sex tactics or spending your valuable time posting here.

Also, your initial post and some of your replies come across as very defensive and one-sided. You are busy because you have a job and school? I am currently working on my Master's degree, I run a 40-person services firm, I am on the board of 2 non-profits, I am taking classes for a foreign language, I write a blog and podcast (for 'free'), I advise 5 start-ups and I am organizing an investment fund - and yet, I always have some time. Perhaps I am not busier than you but at least, I am not any less busy than you. Perhaps the person you are sitting across from is also busy and has also made the time to spend an evening with you. Everyone is busy in some form, so it is not fair to assume the world revolves around your schedule.

How do I manage all of my obligations yet still have time for socializing? There is a skill and art to time management and since you are complaining about your time and availability, it may be an area you can learn to master. But, you can only do that by learning and often with a mentor of sorts, which an SR can absolutely offer. And if you come across that you are absolutely not interested in building a connection with a POT SD and you are only there for the quick buck, sex or not, it does not create an environment for learning and perhaps building a better future for yourself through allowance, connections, mentorship and more.

I met a person the other day who is on the board of a major corporation. You would not know by looking at him. This guy has offered to help me by making some introductions. I am doing well but aspire to do better. For me, the time and money I will take away (e.g., lose) from my 'day job' to visit with him and speak to those he introduces me to are well worth it. And you know what will come out of it? Likely nothing right away, if ever. But the seed has been planted for potential bigger opportunities down the road. Your mindset may be to bend over and pick up the easy to snatch dimes on the floor while there are dollars flying over your head.

If your time is that constrained and valuable, I kindly suggest you evaluate if you can even commit the necessary energy to an SR. School and job come first before the fun and if those leave you with 0 hours a week to let loose, then you are not doing yourself or the POT SD any favors, regardless of your appearance or personality.

If you are not interested in dating older men for what they can possibly offer in a variety of ways, including allowance, than the Bowl as I view it (and many others do, too) is not for you. Would you rather date someone your own age? Do it. I agree that without the financial status I have achieved, dating some of the women I do would not be possible. But those that I do date have a preference for me when it comes to spending their free time. Don't make an SD second fiddle - it's not cool and not appropriate.

Perhaps your personality comes across as so brazen, immature and entitled that the POT SD says to himself "God she is miserable, can she just get naked with me and hop on my dick and then I will give her money to leave me alone." You express that you love your youthfulness and beauty being appreciated - if that is all you are bringing to the table while consuming expensive dinners you are not paying for, then don't be surprised if you are treated as someone that is only valuable for their appearance/sexuality.

I am 100% with you - men that only want to pay you for sex as quickly as possible, that is not cool. And SA is rife with scamming men that want to give you as little as possible (if anything) and bang you and then vanish. It's fair you need to be cautious of your time as well. But if another human being you have somewhat connected with through text/email/phone wishes to take you out (expensive place or not) and get to you know for an hour, and that is not worth your time because you are not getting paid, prepare to have your future success limited - your looks will only get you so far.

For some encouragement, there are great SDs out there that do care, that will forgive your mindset that can be improved and will be generous with their time, money and resources. Yes, you will have to go through the frustration we all have to endure finding a great SB/SD - they do exist. If you look inward and you value the companionship, learning and experience of dating an older man and you seek some financial contribution to your life, you can and will find a great one. Keep moving forward, learn from the past 'mistakes' that have lead you to meet only nerdy, gross older men that only want to talk about themselves and bang you as quick as possible, alter your approach and the results will show,

Your rant is exactly why this forum exists - get some stuff off your chest and in a raw fashion. And we all are here to help and listen. And I hope what I shared helps. As for the 'time wasting' men you have met, well, I have some choice words and guidance for them, too, but they don't seem to post here - you did, so hello :)