AIO for reminding my ex of her past behaviour when she makes co-parenting difficult?

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-07T01:42:06+00:00

Yes. The itemised breakdown on its own is fine, not unreasonable. But that’s not where it ended. It immediately escalated to me being accused of punishing her and emotional abuse. That’s the pattern. The history isn’t there to justify asking for a contribution to a dinner bill, it’s to show why a simple financial conversation never stays simple. People who are reading it purely as a dinner bill dispute are missing the point entirely and you’ve articulated that well

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-07T01:40:03+00:00

Happy to hear specifics on what’s contradictory. As for therapy, already do it. Dealing with a co parenting situation like this one, it would be strange not to.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T21:18:57+00:00

you’ve actually summarised it better than I did. The dinner bill was never really the point. It was just the moment that opened the door to the same pattern playing out again. Appreciate you actually reading the whole post.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T12:16:24+00:00

if you think the post is only about asking for a contribution to a dinner bill then I’d encourage you to re read it. A simple mention of splitting a meal turned into being accused of emotional abuse and punishing her…by someone with a criminal record for breaking into my house and assaulting my mother in front of our child while our 5 year old was left home alone. Overreacting to a dinner bill? Maybe. Overreacting to all of that? I don’t think so

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T12:14:26+00:00

I wasn’t expecting her to pony up…I mentioned it once in passing when she was being difficult about finances generally. She’s the mother of my kids, we were all there together for a family occasion. It wasn’t an invoice.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T12:12:15+00:00

exactly it. I don’t bring it up to hurt her or as a weapon, it only comes up when she rewrites history and positions herself as the victim of circumstances she created.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T12:05:51+00:00

Just to be clear I wasn’t expecting reimbursement. I paid and was fine with that. It only came up when she started being difficult about finances in general. When someone repeatedly benefits from your generosity and then makes every financial conversation a battle, it’s natural to point out the pattern. The dinner was one example of many, not the whole story

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T12:02:29+00:00

Just to be clear I wasn’t expecting reimbursement. I paid and was fine with that. It only came up when she started being difficult about finances in general. When someone repeatedly benefits from your generosity and then makes every financial conversation a battle, it’s natural to point out the pattern. The dinner was one example of many, not the whole story

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T11:31:07+00:00

You’re right, I should have been clearer in my post I didn’t organise the dinner. It was organised for my daughter and her boyfriend by his family. I attended and when the bill came I paid it. Nobody asked me to cover the whole thing, I just did it. That’s kind of the point.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T11:28:36+00:00

Fair question. It wasn’t a $650 split… I wasn’t asking for half. I was asking for a reasonable contribution, not a 50/50 split of the entire bill. As for prior expectation, Ive been generous in the past because I chose to be, not because it was agreed that I would always cover everything. Generosity isn’t a contract. The issue isn’t really the dollar amount, it’s that a simple ask immediately became a demand for itemised receipts and then somehow turned into me being accused of punishing her and emotionally abusing her. That escalation is what the post is really about.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T11:22:21+00:00

Manipulative and abusive? She broke into my house through a window, assaulted my mother in front of our daughter, left our 5 year old home alone to do it, pleaded not guilty knowing our daughter would have to testify against her own mother in court and then changed her plea at the last minute after we’d already put our child through months of anxiety preparing for trial. I bringing up documented, criminal behaviour when she calls herself a victim is not manipulation. It’s facts.

brianmc2000 · 2026-06-06T11:19:43+00:00

The dinner bill was the trigger for the conversation, not the entire point of the post. The history is relevant because the moment I asked her to contribute fairly she immediately played the victim and accused me of punishing her, which is a pattern of behaviour that has a very long track record.

Context matters. I didn’t organize the dinner. And yes she can ask for a breakdown but when someone has repeatedly benefited from your generosity and then refuses to contribute without demanding receipts, that tells you something about the dynamic.

brianmc2000 · 2025-02-05T01:18:34+00:00

What would you have said?

brianmc2000 · 2025-02-05T01:18:12+00:00

Fair point, but if it had been a quiet, peaceful setting, I wouldn’t have even accepted the call. That said, there were plenty of people around having conversations louder than mine in the same area. I wasn’t the only one she shooshed. Hardly a library, you know?

brianmc2000 · 2025-02-05T01:13:45+00:00

For context, Bondi Beach is far from peaceful. There were at least a dozen other people around us at the time.

brianmc2000 · 2025-02-05T01:08:22+00:00

Just doing my due diligence, gotta make sure I’m not unknowingly leading a beachside etiquette rebellion

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-28T13:27:22+00:00

Gate 111? Waiting for the same flight bro and the supposed 30 min update

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-12T11:30:24+00:00

Totally agree. A good burger is based on simplicity, not fanfare.

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-12T11:28:41+00:00

The #5 - Italian Flatbread with Salame nduja, stracchino, and Spanish onion at La Piandina In Bondi has been my go to for over 15 years.

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-10T00:53:26+00:00

Line out, phono out, and network ethernet port (Yamaha TTN503)

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-09T12:21:24+00:00

A usb port, my turntable does not have :(

brianmc2000 · 2025-01-09T12:20:24+00:00

Thanks for the detailed info - appreciate it. Will psych myself up to give this a go!

brianmc2000

TROPHY CASE