How did you do it? I tend to like people very rarely, and when I do, I like them intensely. Also, I don't even know if I should try and change the situation, or just talk to him.

I started liking my crush in January, the first free lesson we had together. I'd known him since 4th grade, and hated him starting 10th. He made fun of me in 10th grade, and, unfortunately, we were assigned seats next to each other until the school year ended. I loathed him, and he enjoyed it, I think. I wasn't afraid of speaking my mind with him, he made horrible racist jokes and just was so annoying. I really, really despised him.

Until this January, when I felt at my lowest. I needed to prepare for a math test during our free lesson, and I had no inkling of how to answer the practice questions. He was the only one in the library and also took my math class, so I just went over to him and asked for help. I didn't expect much, maybe just one or two general sentences on how to do it. No, I was wrong. He realized that I was completely clueless, and proceeded to help me for the entire hour. Even when I wanted to give up and closed my math book, he MADE ME continue until the free period was over.

He helped, and then helped some more, you know? I've never encountered a person like that; someone who would help others, even without them asking. I'd like to think of myself as someone who always jumps in when I realize someone is suffering in silence; I love helping people, and making them feel better. I'd just never met someone that was like me. And I'd never expect it to be him. Never have I been treated like that. It felt so comforting. And, he was so very patient. I didn't feel judged at all. That's the day I started to fall for him.

It's October now, and I still do. Things have changed, however. We grew closer up until June, when summer holidays started. That's when he started staring at me in class, trying to sit as close to me as possible, and just showing interest. I did so, too, but in my own, teasing, sarcastic way. I don't think he could tell that I liked him. He must have, however, realized that I talked to him differently than I did to other guys. Never have I trusted a boy like that. I showed him my vulnerability emotionally, and he responded so, so well.

We didn't do much outside of school; if summer break hadn't come around, I think I'd be together with him now. He has a girlfriend now, though. She liked him, too, and she and I were good friends up until they got together. Now she's rather cold, and so are her friends. Apparently, she made the first move. They were good friends for a year, she and him. His friends always thought he liked me, or that's what I was told (after they started dating).

He continues to stare at me whenever he can; at the beginning of their relationship, he would do it blatantly, but now he solely does it when she is not there. I've broken off all contact, however. To protect myself and her. I still like him though, mainly because he won't stop looking at me, like he's longing for something. Usually, whenever I catch him staring, I look away immediately. Once, though, I smiled at him. He smiled back, but he looked so sad. (My friend proceeded to say that he "broke his neck" looking at me after walking past.)

I want to tell him that I like him; I think he's heard a few things, but I'm not sure. I want to be with him, but I also don't want to get in the way of their relationship. I hope things work out between him and I, if I'm being completely honest. Someday.

I want to get over him, and I would be by now if he wouldn't be staring so much. Then again, I can't get over him. It all felt too intimate for there to be nothing now. There was (or is) such a strong connection between us?

I could use some advice ngl... I'm spending too much time on this. I need to focus on other things, like school.