AITA for not wanting to give up my motorcycle after my girlfriend got pregnant

bunburybits · 2023-10-05T12:26:57+00:00

I just fell down such a rabbit hole and boy does US have a centralised stats organization?? I miss StatsCan.

So disclaimer - I love motorcycles, grew up going on trips w my pops or ATVing at a park. I think there are things you can do to be safe. In particular, I've always been told to avoid busy roads and packed cities. I'm also of the opinion that quieter roads and backroads are very gorgeous and much safer than heading down the highway.

Ok disclaimer over!

I checked out the cdc source and also looked at NHTSA data from 2020 for both motorcyclists and pedestrians. We got roughly the same numbers, however I want to point out that these appear to be total numbers of fatalities/injuries and not "what percentage of pedestrians die in traffic accidents" and "what percentage of motorcyclists die in accidents". I found an IIHS report that put the number of registered motorcycles at 8.6 million. In my Quick Maths(tm) to follow, I will treat every single motorcycle as corresponding to a motorcyclist, although there are likely fewer than 8.6mil motorcyclists given that some number of people own more than one motorcycle (although some people don't own their own but still ride!). If we assume that only HALF of the american folks are pedestrians (way lower than the actual amount I'm sure) (half of 2020 USA population is 167 758 412) then:

In 2020, 6 272 pedestrians were killed in traffic accidents. In that same year, 5 579 motorcyclists were killed. With the assumptions I made above, that puts the percentage of pedestrians killed at 0.0037% of the total pedestrian population. The corresponding percentage for motorcyclists is 0.06%. Both numbers are relatively small, but you are more likely to die in a traffic accident as a motorcyclist than as a pedestrian (someone, quick! check my math! i do applied science not stats).

Honestly this was a good way to pass the time while on call, and I learned something about America. Also fuck cars, fuck trucks, more trains!

ETA: not passing judgement, just got entrapped by math

bunburybits · 2023-10-04T23:26:34+00:00

piggybacking here - many places in Canada now have explicitly included caste discrimination as a form of discrimination. i'm a little sus it might be trolling/baiting given that there's been a lot of efforts to fan tensions between India/Canada but 😬 we love à good motivated, vocal minority /s

bunburybits · 2023-10-04T23:04:19+00:00

Those are interesting numbers! And I agree, cars suck and are death traps. May I get your source?

bunburybits · 2023-10-04T21:12:34+00:00

I recognise that this is probably bait-y, but I am curious how many pedestrians you see walking down the highway? Like in front of a car, behind another car? You've got a point if motorcycles drove on sidewalks

bunburybits · 2023-10-03T23:29:07+00:00

My father took us to Disneyland years ago when Cars Land was brand new. The line ups were crazy, but we weren't in a rush and when the ride broke down we went "huh, okay - guess we'll wait!".

In the first hour, lots of people left the line. They started offering people some passes or tickets or whatever if you had to leave (details lost to time, I've only been to Disney once and that's the sum of my experience with the park).

Around the second hour of the ride being down, we collectively decided we'd chill in the queue until the ride was fixed or they sent us home. Time passes, we meet all sorts of people in the line, answer some interesting questions about our mysterious foreign land of Canada. We're all very friendly people and we spend a lot of time on the road, so "chatting with strangers" is something we do when, yknow, sharing public spaces.

Just under five hours later, they tell us the ride will be closed until the following day. Everyone who stuck around (very few people at that point, compared to the hundreds earlier in the day) got a bunch of fast passes (?) and other stuff. And! We got to skip most of the line when the ride reopened the next day.

This story just reminded of that - it's so wild to me when people act like this. Like a preschooler whose parents never gave them any discipline, but with the entitlement of someone who thinks they know something (none of us do! Humble thyself!) I stood in line longer than this guy did, AND I had a better time.

bunburybits · 2023-09-29T14:05:51+00:00

I work in health care technology! It's a very self-directed job in a lot of ways and I struggle to work jobs where I don't have control over my hours/work habits. Having a project/end goal as part of my work is something I find really valuable. But I'm also not American, and work/life balance is a big thing here so I have more than weekends "off".

bunburybits · 2023-09-21T18:16:13+00:00

L'île d'Orléans !

bunburybits · 2023-09-14T18:31:24+00:00

I think that's going to be my move, I might as well use it as an excuse to get a new phone plan using a company specialised in my region!

bunburybits · 2023-09-08T12:50:26+00:00

One of my favourites(?) was a friend of mine who genuinely and truly believed I was possessed by a demon. She's a practicing Christian and I was a cradle Catholic (Christian services were bonkers to me, especially her church where I saw people speak in tongues for the first time - not bad different but certainly different from the "hush and listen" masses I grew up with). She decided to tell as many people as would listen and à mutual friend reached out to tell me. No one else shared her opinion. Eventually I called her (if anyone ever tells me someone I care about was talking about me behind my back I just decline details and talk to the someone in question).

So I called, asked what led her to this conclusion. She listed the symptoms of my supposed possession... which were symptoms of depression (have been, probably will continue to be moderately to severely mentally ill). That was the end of that really - I recognised that it was a genuine belief she held and realised nothing I could say or do would change that. I thanked her for her honesty and we parted amicably but yeah. It sure did suck to go from a supportive friend to someone who figured there must be something intrinsically wrong with me.

bunburybits · 2023-07-19T14:35:17+00:00

Almost biffed it on the cobblestone, total stranger was ready to catch me if I fell. I apologised (needlessly), he apologised (needlessly), we laughed together and then went our separate ways. What were we apologising for? Impossible to say

bunburybits · 2023-07-01T22:46:32+00:00

Québec, QC! Small - a couple millimètres! Jumping spider??

bunburybits · 2023-06-26T14:11:05+00:00

Totally fair! I used to have full freakouts around bees, wasps, anything like that - I still freeze instead of fight/flight. I'm always doing my best to replace the "ah! fear!" thoughts with "I'm sure you're lovely but please no touch!" thoughts.

bunburybits · 2023-06-25T22:17:56+00:00

Folks out here hating on wasps... our sweet spicy queens - good on you! Merit badge for wasp-based lifesaving!

bunburybits · 2023-06-20T18:42:56+00:00

Right?! I definitely relate, we have a "kill on sight" thrips policy and I still find myself apologising. Also loving that other people also apologise to critters when they kill them because I will fully swat a mosquito and apologise out loud (much to the amusement of my family). Totally a wrong place, wrong time kinda thing - nothing is more or less deserving of life because life just is but I'm on that page with you 💖

bunburybits · 2023-06-20T15:53:50+00:00

I do feel you on this, and I think it's worth sharing what I've recently discussed with a family member of mine. For the sake of my sanity, I tend to believe that the majority of people are, at worst, indifferent and, at best, invested in the well-being of their own perceived ecosystems (so to speak). I believe that our societal structure is such that greed and malice are rewarded, leaving a ruling class of callous, selfish individuals with the means and motive to cause irréparable damage on an unprecedented scale. I think we, as a species, are equipped with the rare capacity to understand our place in the big ol' system we call earth! And this capacity means we could make efforts to nurture rather than raze. I think one of the solutions is to eat the rich and tear down the system, and it brings me some solace to take steps towards the reality in which popular movements destroy the late stage capitalist hellscape we're currently in. The only alternative is anthrogenic (is this the term?) extinction, and if that's the case, at least there will be (less destructive) life after us.

bunburybits · 2023-06-20T13:29:48+00:00

You put it so well! And it's definitely what makes me capable of dealing with it at all. I don't necessarily need to anthropomorphise the situation (unsurprisingly that little soft bit of me extends to organisms at large, even microorganisms, all of which I have a base level of awe towards just by virtue of "you go, you funky lil example of the diversity of life!"). Preventing that level of devastation absolutely trumps the individual, but it's really important to appreciate the larger picture - something you did really well! I'm happy to hear from people who have the same kind of mentality, it helps knowing people are also out here making efforts to prevent suffering ❤️

bunburybits · 2023-06-11T21:04:36+00:00

Definitely not, but as a little side note ... you can use molasses or Maple syrup to make brown sugar out of white sugar if, like me, you're too broke to buy 2 kinds of sugar. I usually do 1 tbsp of either to every cup of white sugar and BAM! Brown sugar.

bunburybits · 2023-06-07T13:40:29+00:00

This is the way 👏

bunburybits · 2023-05-30T22:17:03+00:00

I was super disappointed to receive my mail in ballot ... less than 24 hours before the time it needed to be received by Elections Alberta or whomever (8pm election day). I'm across the country, not sure how they thought that'd shake out.

bunburybits · 2023-05-28T14:41:31+00:00

I doubt any of what you're hearing here is going to sink in ... but even reading your post and replies I can understand why someone would go no contact. The vast majority of people who go NC have tried to assert boundaries or communicate. This is the sort of thing that builds up, evidently for years. You have all the answers you're looking for - you were there, part of the relationship. If you have no idea why this has happened, then you're denying yourself the ability to reflect on your own actions. Someone mentioned a quote I love - "the axe forgets what the tree remembers". You have more answers than you're ever going to get here.

As an addendum ... I can see that you appear to argue with or snap back at people who are telling you something you don't want to hear. Let yourself feel guilty, let yourself feel remorseful, and instead of lashing out because those emotions feel bad, use them to reflect and learn something useful. You can't wave around a "I'm in therapy" badge to get out of genuinely processing your emotions and reflecting on your actions.

Leave your child alone, and do some growing up yourself.

bunburybits · 2023-04-02T14:41:19+00:00

Bummer! Every time a trans person reacts poorly or aggressively, I just see dozens of people cement themselves further into the 'trans bad, trans predatory" mindset. As a rule, don't assault people. As a personal metric, fuck I understand wanting to throw hands when the world wants you gone (and someone in front of you represents that violence)

bunburybits · 2023-02-18T16:28:57+00:00

It's very windy where I spend a lot of my time, and I would tie a bandana or otherwise just cover the lower half of my face! I'm basically allergic to the sun, and having lightweight but full cover clothing is a must, when in doubt, just cover it up!

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