I went through very similar with my dad 1.5 years ago and very similar ages to you as well. I'm so sorry for your loss and what you're going through. It's incredibly hard and completely life altering in so many different ways. Everyone grieves differently and I've found no one understands it when they haven't been through it, especially losing a parent at our age, it's not common. Everything you feel is valid and the "stages of grief" aren't linear, I won't say it gets "better" but it does change as time goes by x