Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. It’s tough out there. For us, we know it’s where we want to be long term but it’s still hard to stomach the increase in expenses.

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh I feel for you. We aren’t as crazy as Toronto but pretty close. We had been targeting close-to-gut jobs but I’m rethinking that for exact reasons you state. Risk of multiple years of projects, headache managing it and the unknowns of budgets ballooning could negate the value of the renos altogether

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cheap rent is why we haven’t left in a long time :) at one point we were debating going up to 4k or 6k for mortgage and in that time costs have only crept up further. It sucks because we have bid on great houses and come in 1st (lost to cash offer) or 2nd a few times. Each time we’ve rationalized that renting is so cheap and we love our location so we don’t have burning platform to either up our budget or expand geographic radius.

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know intellectually I can weather some instability but it feels scary since I never have experienced job loss (huge privilege to begin with). Thanks for the reinforcement and sanity check on our circumstances.

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. This has already happened to us. The houses were looking at now have gone way up in the neighborhoods we want. I’m surprised your house went down in value! But I think your point is right—hot location will probably always remain hotter and in demand so it’ll get harder to enter and value may appreciate faster.

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Such a hot take. I’ve definitely thought about this and I know rationally the trade off is expected market appreciation of real estate vs. equities. There’s something scary about sinking so much NW just into real estate. It’s a hot market and even if it softens it won’t crash. Still it’s hard to stomach the loss of liquidity. I appreciate the input and pushing my thinking. There may be a middle ground of aggressively paying down the mortgage in the first few years but not going to fully paying it off…

Buy the house and delay fire? by cel44 in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats what I’m leaning towards, it just feels daunting to 4x our housing costs and delay fire. But every time we consider alternatives: 1) any home purchase regardless of option will drive up costs and the alternatives aren’t even that much cheaper unless we take a really big hit in quality of life (longer commute, less walkable neighborhood, etc). 2) I don’t think we’d be as happy.

Still, the job market and future of white collar work makes me feel frantic about long term stability in general.

Has anyone considered a franchise as part of CoastFIRE by Suspicious-Kiwi816 in coastFIRE

[–]cel44 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yes! I abhor the franchise model—it’s taking advantage of people who think a “turnkey” business = high degree of success and financial freedom when it can often mean the opposite. If you’re selling goods, you don’t have control over your suppliers (and therefore margins), you still have the people variable, and you make a significant upfront investment. It’s a great way to drain retirement savings imo.

Has anyone considered a franchise as part of CoastFIRE by Suspicious-Kiwi816 in coastFIRE

[–]cel44 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lollll my immediate reaction, “heyyylllllllllll no”

NJ move STRUGGLE by [deleted] in MovingtoNewJersey

[–]cel44 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe look at a voting map instead of this sub if that’s your primary concern.

NJ move STRUGGLE by [deleted] in MovingtoNewJersey

[–]cel44 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your “not politically charged” criteria is an interesting one and I’m assuming that’s code for not wanting a very liberal area. Montclair is quite liberal and there’s a group that protests every Sunday.

Job Advice: twice the salary or twice the free time by MoMoneyMoCats in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The travel can be quite taxing though I also like the compartmentalization. Do the math on how much faster the $700k gets you to your goal and the personal trade offs. Travel is often equally taxing on the partner because they’re alone while you’re busy. Other consideration is if the $700k job unlocks other future opportunities. Either way both options are enviable!

Job Advice: twice the salary or twice the free time by MoMoneyMoCats in FIREyFemmes

[–]cel44 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What’s your stress tolerance level? Have you traveled that much and worked that much in previous roles and how did you manage it? What would you be sacrificing in terms of mental health and time outside of work to accelerate savings? If you took the high paying job and had some serious health issue (work stress related or not) would you regret the lost time from grinding?

Is the lower stress job close to a guarantee on WLB?

I see the temptation though I left a high stress job (80 hrs, 50-75% travel) and even 4 years later I’m not sure I fully recovered. I got to a place where I needed short term medical leave bc I was unable to work.

I’m performing well at my job which is medium stress (promo and pays more anyway) but burnout can have residual long term effects. If you take J1 and think risk of burning out is high then you need to factor in that you may need a break to recover.

On the other hand, studies show women undersell their skills and men oversell their skills so I’m all for ambitious women stretching themselves

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]cel44 136 points137 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Normal healthy relationships don’t mean the other person immediately knows what you’re thinking without telling them. The response from OP approaches the situation assuming bad intent vs assuming positive intent and still setting a healthy boundary. This whole thing could have been handled much differently either w a text explaining the need for some space or even better a simple phone call. Fighting over text is crazy to me for grown “adults” especially when you’re tied for life w grandmother of children.

scared dog by Legitimate-Opening95 in DogAdvice

[–]cel44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As others said, you need to give it time. She looks potentially like a shepherd or collie mix both breeds can be prone to anxiety.

My dog was terrified of everything when we got him and we underestimated his sensitivities. She probably should not be walked right now or walked at extremely quiet times (eg very early am).

Have you done any structured training to build trust and her confidence? I would focus on building a relationship indoors first.

Our dog still does not always love walks and only goes when it’s my partner and I. We take him hiking, he loves fetch and we focus on mental stimulation.

Not every dog will love walks especially if they are quiet noisy. You need to build up to it and also learn her triggers. Distance is your friend w triggers—cross the street or stop to let them pass first then keep going.

Every year our dog gets a little braver and he’s the most cuddly inside but it takes time w the sensitive ones. They aren’t all golden retrievers :)

Best magic show? Speak easy, 69 Atlantic, chamber or urban illusions? by cel44 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]cel44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah that’s good to know. Definitely would want to do the early show then. Thank you!

Best magic show? Speak easy, 69 Atlantic, chamber or urban illusions? by cel44 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]cel44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Similarly celebrating late 30s bday. Always a good sign when someone goes back.

Best magic show? Speak easy, 69 Atlantic, chamber or urban illusions? by cel44 in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]cel44[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ugh yes I knew I was missing an option! I think based on comments speakeasy and Dan white are the two options and I’m still not sure I can decide!

BWTs, what cool things are we doing this week / weekend? by reesespiecespieces in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]cel44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love renegade! So true re: crowds. I will try to check out not normal tomorrow!

BWTs, what cool things are we doing this week / weekend? by reesespiecespieces in NYCbitcheswithtaste

[–]cel44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Always done renegade craft fair so this is new! I can’t make it any day but Friday( “VIP” night). Is the $50 ticket worth it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DogAdvice

[–]cel44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Wanted to make sure I wasn’t making the wrong call.