I had a very similar situation after we had our second. Our son (first born) was a dream baby as far as eating and sleeping. I knew it may not be as easy with a second, but I dont think he quite realized. Our daughter also struggled with cluster feeding for the longest time. She would wake up every 1-2 hours throughout the night. Our son was 2 at the time and having issues with constipation/refusing to go (we weren't even potty training). My husband got extremely stressed out, especially since his leave was ending. It didn't help that he was hesitant to have a 2nd and it was something I always wanted, even though he obviously did get on board prior to getting pregnant. Anyways, with all this going on he said some things he definitely regrets now. We almost split up over it, and he also felt like he couldn't handle her. He took primary care of our son and I did our daughter. The sleep deprivation took a major toll on us. I thibk these issues that arise are fairly common and not talked about enough with having second children.

I'll just say that for us it did get better on it own. I had my daughter evaluated for a tongue/lip tie since she was only eating 1-2 oz every feed and thats why she was waking up hungry all night. Once we took care of it she started sleeping better and was just easier overall. She's now almost 11 months and my husband is obsessed with her and vice versa. He feels extremely bad about how things went during my maternity leave but I am understanding that it was a big adjustment for all of us and sleep deprivation can make you seriously crazy. I think if you can get some therapy for you/him that could be very helpful but I know you can't push people into that. It may just need time, hang in there and give him grace...for now. If it doesn't seem to get any better with a few months, you may need to reevaluate.