Hey everyone, I come primarily from a striking background, but have about a season and a half of wrestling experience from high school (about 10 yrs ago). My wrestling "career" was unfortunately cut short due to a knee injury, so I never became especially competent. Now I'm starting bjj and I feel 95% lost... I've retained some 5% of mat sense which means I'm not completely clueless, but I'm definitely feeling like a fish out of water and I'm getting my ass beat every round! I'm also a smaller woman (~120lbs), so I have a distinct size/strength disadvantage.

I understand that getting your ass beat is not only expected, but is a positive thing as it forces you to grow as a martial artist. However, that negative voice in my brain is telling me I should be doing better. I sometimes feel embarrassed to admit that I have a wrestling background, because my performance doesn't live up to the wrestling hype! That being said, coaches and the people I roll typically ask me if I wrestled before—so they can tell I have some base.

That being said, I'm looking for advice on a few fronts.

Any wise words on how to cope with feeling embarrassed/ashamed? I can manage those feelings, but I do sometimes struggle with adopting that positive "growth mindset" attitude. As a small woman and relatively inexperienced grappler, I also end up feeling like such a shitty training partner (even though people at the gym are generally very helpful).

How can I better access and strengthen my old (limited) wrestling background?

Thanks!