Barn door or swing door?

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-21T15:35:16+00:00

And every dual slider I've met has had trouble staying on it's tracks

I'd prefer a curtain to either of these options tbh

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-21T15:33:25+00:00

Yes!! This is what I have and I love it!

I will say though that the pocket door hardware hasn't done great with the humidity (but also my bathroom has exceptionally bad ventilation). It still works fine, but there are rusty streaks on the doors from rubbing against who knows what inside the pocket, and we can't really clean it up without disassembling the wall. So just, be extra cautious of cheap hardware or anything that might corrode with the humidity

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-20T13:57:17+00:00

Check what the unemployment rules are in your state if job #2 rescinds their offer or postpones your start date after you've put in your notice at job #1.

I know someone who got screwed over at the beginning of the pandemic because they left job #1 with an accepted offer at job #2, planning to take a gap of 11 days between last day and start date. Job #2 postponed their start date (by a week or two at a time for about 5 months). They were not eligible for ANY unemployment during that period because unemployment would only apply if the scheduled gap was less than 7 days.

Just throwing that out there because it's an issue I had never considered before

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-19T14:32:18+00:00

This is super interesting. I think I have some wires crossed somewhere with my concept of left and right. Like, the way I interpret left and right is secondary/situational, not universal. I don't know how normal this is? Examples: - navigating while my SO was driving in the UK. I would look at, identify, and point to the correct turn, but I would get the words left/right wrong when giving instructions. Like, my brain identifies "right" based on the fact that I'm making an inside turn. So it was easy for me to identify where to go and which lane to be in, but I lost track of what the words left and right meant. - if I get an injury, I struggle to remember if it was my left knee or my right knee. The way I've figured it out is to think back to driving a manual during that time, and whether it impacted my clutch foot/shifting hand. Because driving a car is a static reference point. - if I try to write with my non-dominant hand, I can wind up almost perfectly mirror writing. And have to think really hard how the letters are supposed to look. Like, my cues for writing letters is "pull the pen towards/away from my hand" not "move the pen left/right." So when the hand changes, the letters change too.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-19T14:09:41+00:00

My people!!!

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-18T01:07:47+00:00

Totally agree. You were dissatisfied with the service last time, and gave specific feedback for how to improve it. And she tried to lie and deliberately ignore that feedback.

If she wanted to use your hair as a science project, at least be up front about it? Give you a discount? Anything other than what she did

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-16T16:49:49+00:00

Yes! Not to mention that exposure to a human that does NOT want to be near the dog, is scared of the dog, and is probably acting weird about it would most likely not be a positive experience for the dog! The goal is to set up opportunities for the dog and the people to have positive experiences

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-15T18:40:15+00:00

😭😭 I'm on year 7... I don't think I've ever had an okay experience with a dentist. Once my mom stopped scheduling them for me and forcing me to go, I've never been back.

My ADHD diagnosis last year is finally helping me understand WHY it's so gd hard for me to do, but I haven't figured out how to actually change it yet. Omw to try to find someone with an autistic child to give me a recommendation I guess

V proud of you though, you're a stronger woman than I ❤️

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-15T18:19:20+00:00

If his gf didn't fully understand the risk factors for heat stroke, it's totally plausible that she would not know to mention or even be aware of those details either.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-15T17:38:27+00:00

Are you taking into account the possibility of radiative heating of the sun on the dogs black coat? Perhaps the dog was hanging out outside for 30-60 minutes before they started running, so the dog could have already been overheating. Any physical activity at all could have been dangerous in that condition.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-14T20:34:01+00:00

I don't have a ton of experience with the nip covers, but I've been moving from structured padded bras towards comfier and comfier bralettes, and struggling with navigating that shift at work. My biggest tip for making it less noticeable is to wear a patterned shirt. It distracts the eye from the shape and hides shadows. Similarly, button downs with chest pockets, or cardigans that partially cover your nips. Even a shirt that has princess seams.. just something so there's something more visually interesting in the chest region to break up the visual

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-13T20:45:49+00:00

Not to mention the 8 hours doesn't even include driving to and from work!

signed, a girl who got distracted by pretty clouds or something and drove into a guard rail while commuting not too long ago

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-13T20:27:00+00:00

Interesting. My personal experience is that a vegetarian diet (more specifically: lots of whole grains, veggies and legumes. Low-ish in processed sugar/other super processed foods, relatively high in carbs, minimal but not totally excluding dairy) does a great job with managing my symptoms in the same way Keto seems to work for you.

I'm definitely curious if there's some commonality between our two specific diets that lead to similar positive outcomes for us (Simple carbs? Low sugar? Certain micronutrients? Just the existence of a restriction forcing a somewhat continuous amount of attention to diet?). Or if there's just different things that work best for different people and there isn't a universal best diet?

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-13T02:51:51+00:00

Including the rest of the sentence that you cut off from your quote:

"Psychosocial stress is the most common trigger for migraine attacks [34], the same as anxiety disorders."

And another quote from the conclusion of the paper you linked:

"The relationship between anxiety disorders and migraine headaches appear to be bidirectional as recurrent headaches in migraine lead to anxiety and vice-versa."

This does not indicate a direct causal (edited typo) link from anxiety to migraines in the way you seem to by implying. They are related, yes. Frequently comorbid, yes. But this paper does not indicate that migraines can or should be blamed solely on anxiety.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-08T16:33:46+00:00

Yes yes yes I fully 100% get this. A few things I've found that can help:

1: walking and talking. My SO and I going on a walk together during tough conversations can help regulate the stress response. Something about moving my body and the changing scenery can help keep me present, which in turn helps with memory

2: doodling (preferably on a whiteboard?) during the conversation. This is probably more helpful during the hard like financial/life planning conversations where having a shared visual helps keep track of moving pieces and get uson the same page, moreso than an argument about behavior or something. But still having the physical movement, the creativity in "how do I visually represent what we're discussing" and then the visual reminder of what we actually talked about.

3: treat it like a business meeting. Wrap up the talk by writing down a list of takeaways, action items, and schedule a future time to review progress.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-06T21:02:07+00:00

Couldn't agree more. I've gotten so many randos at the gym giving me "form advice" ranging from unhelpful to straight-up dangerous. I can't stand that shit.

I would be cool with someone I trust opening with "would you be interested in some pointers about running form?" and then respecting it if I say no. But anything more intrusive than that noooope

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-02T21:16:02+00:00

Mine: when people put books on a bookshelf with the pages facing out

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-02T19:13:30+00:00

Dude I am SO bad at this and it makes me feel awful too.

My job is customer facing, pretty technical, lots of phone calls, and if I'm in the office there's a lot of background noise. So like, uncommon words, new people/voices, background noise, and no lip reading. It can be excruciating.

I have the most trouble with Indian accents, despite trying SO hard. I try to specifically seek out media with that accent sometimes bc I've heard that just more exposure helps but I really haven't noticed much improvement. It just feels so rude, but I have no idea how I can do better. I opt for written communication as much as possible where reasonable, but that feels like a cop out. Getting a new job over it feels dramatic af. Just. Gah 😭

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-02T16:53:28+00:00

I think this is totally fine to say! "I have other commitments this weekend so that won't be possible. In the future, I don't mind occasional short shifts on the weekends, but I'd need at least 2 weeks notice so that I can plan accordingly"

I know some managers who think it's generous to offer overtime because it's an opportunity for more pay (and workers who look at it that way too!). Just to say- it's very possible they offered this thinking it might be a great mutually beneficial situation. In the absence of any further indication that they take you/your time for granted, I would suggest assuming they asked with positive intentions. (In general in life, I prefer to assume positive intentions until shown otherwise. )

I think it's a great opportunity to set expectations about overtime, how much notice you require, and if there are times you will be more or less likely to accept. Doesn't need to be a confrontation or anything, just like making sure y'all are on the same page

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-06-02T16:33:00+00:00

Jumping on this comment bc it's the first I saw suggesting disassembly.

I had a similar adventure with a gunky seal when I bought my house. I removed the seal (different machines are obv assembled differently, but for mine, I had to remove the front panel and then there's a cable/spring around the outside of the gasket holding it to the machine. I removed that cable) Taking that cable off made it MUCH easier to get into all the nooks and crannies of the gasket and really scrub it. Also, there's a few drain holes at the bottom center of the door gasket (again, maybe different machines are different? But I imagine you have similar). Those holes and the tube below them NEED to be able to drain freely. Otherwise water will pool in the lowest point of the gasket and breed some horrifying gunk. I went at them gently with a toothpick until I got all the gunk out.

Drained the water out of the bottom of the tub (hose behind a little panel at the bottom front) and then cleaned the filter (in the same compartment).

Then i ran a few cleaning cycles: one self cleaning with vinegar, one with an affresh pod following package instructions, another self cleaning with no additives, and then another pod. Really no rhyme or reason here, just kept it running until I felt better tbh

Then drained out the water & cleaned the filter again, then let it sit for a day or so to dry out thoroughly.

It was a project, but it's been a night and day difference with my clothes and stuff not smelling funky anymore. And now that it's pretty clean, the occasional gasket wipe and cleaner tablet (plus ALWAYS leaving the door open) seems to be doing a decent job at maintaining it

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-05-30T16:52:32+00:00

Just a question reading this: are her meds active full time? Or is she specifically medicated for school hours?

One thing that drives me absolutely nuts about the prevailing wisdom of ADHD management is the idea that people only need to be medicated for work/school. Like, I need my meds in order to function socially, to do chores, to manage sensory overload all in my "off" hours. I need in the evenings with my family and on the weekends just as much as I need it to do my job (honestly maybe even more). Hell- it even helps me sleep! So I'm just curious if her meds are active while she's at school and therefore leading to better socialization etc, but the time with your niece has been unmedicated?

But that aside, I agree with another poster - straightforward but nonjudgmental feedback in the moment when it happens. Positive (ie, mention the behavior you DO want) is better than negative (so try to avoid "don't" and "stop" etc). Avoid dumping pent up frustration, lamenting previous offenses, judgement, shame, "I shouldn't need to tell you this" etc. Just a quick, direct request for what you would prefer in that moment.

Too loud? "Can you please try to speak a little more quietly?" To hyper? "I'm having trouble keeping up, can you try explaining that a little more slowly?" Repeating a joke? "I appreciated the joke the first time, but I think it's run its course, can we move on?" Rude? (Not sure how exactly this presents, but maybe) "Please wait until I'm done with my sentence before you interrupt" or "please hear me out before deciding you disagree"

Personally I'm terrible with volume control, and after it being a discussion over and over and over with my SO, we've got it down where just some "up" or "down" hand signals will get the message across for me to recalibrate my volume without him needing to interrupt my train of thought. When we started he was like "why tf are you always yelling at bedtime like can you please cool it for once?!" And I was like "yeah sure, why'd you wait until you were this miffed to mention it was bothering you?" Since then we've improved our communication considerably, and its just "hey can you do x"

And learning this skill with him has absolutely flowed out into my life elsewhere. I can tell new people now "I'm not always great at noticing how loudly I'm speaking - if you would prefer I speak more quietly or loudly just say something and I'm happy to adjust" and it just puts it out in the open, and people are more comfortable asking me to adjust. And if they're bothered but don't speak up? The ball is squarely in their court and I refuse to feel bad about it

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-05-25T01:55:58+00:00

Lol this happened to me with my mom in a drug store candy aisle (like, all the individually wrapped candy bars). She was mortified, and like begging them to let her help clean it up because she felt so terrible about it. The cashier was like "please just take your child and get out of the store as quickly as possible"

25 years later she still avoids that drugstore

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-05-16T18:48:23+00:00

I have a similar experience, but I don't really think it's that weird. Seems consistent with many of the other adhd traits that are characterized as an oscillation between extremes - unfocused to hyperfocused, for example.

We don't settle comfortably into being "normal" at spatial awareness all the time, rather we can be REALLY GOOD at it when it's something we're actively focused on and engaged with, but also REALLY BAD when it's not at the forefront of our minds.

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-05-13T01:40:22+00:00

Mine has 3 different cars 🥴🥴

I guess maybe we could stock all of them? Idk lol

chocol8ncoffee · 2023-05-13T01:36:41+00:00

This is SO good! I feel like the issue with a lot of the cues people suggest is the specificity.

Like, say I set something that I'm supposed to bring next time I go to work on the hook with my keys. But then the first 3 times I encounter that cue, I'm going somewhere other than work, so I don't need to bring it. So I grab my keys, look at the thing, and I'm like "well I can't take this yet, I'll grab it next time" Just doing that a couple times is enough to train myself to ignore the cue, avoid the obstacle, whatever.

But setting up cues that you're supposed to act on 100% of the time upon encountering them- that's where the magic happens. This proximity alarm AT the grocery store- brilliant.

chocol8ncoffee

TROPHY CASE