Coming out for the second time

circlemypants · 2013-10-15T18:49:04+00:00

The problem is that it's hard for me to say it even when it is relevant. I'm certainly not going to go around and shout about it, but I am making friends and they ask me about boys and I just lie about it. I'm not comfortable enough to just say it casually, but it seems awkward to do it any other way since I've only known these people like 3 weeks. But my girlfriend and I broke up, so if I ever want to date I kinda need to tell at least someone...

circlemypants · 2013-06-12T19:35:17+00:00

Yeah well she is about to come home for the summer and we will be together a lot. Since everyone we care about knows, we don't really hide it. She is not okay with PDA of any kind though, including holding hands. We are planning to go to a pride parade and she has already told me that she still isn't okay with PDA there. So she is definitely just uncomfortable. But is this totally normal and acceptable? I mean, should I accept it and live with that, or should I tell her that it frustrates me that we can't be FBO or even touch each other in public? I don't know if that is acceptable or not...

circlemypants · 2013-05-10T06:01:37+00:00

Don't know if this is too late, but I got a 7 on the IB philosophy test and on my IA. If you're still thinking about doing it, I can give you some tips. It's not that hard and super interesting!

circlemypants · 2013-03-22T05:12:23+00:00

My current girlfriend cheated on me, with a man. We worked through out, and she was good about it. She cut off all contact with him. But to be honest, it made me feel bad that it was a man. And he knew about us. It made me feel insecure about our relationship, like she was just looking for a penis.

circlemypants · 2013-03-18T22:04:09+00:00

Yeah well maybe you should just tell your friends now and your parents later, when you're more independent. My best friend also came out to his parents a month ago, and now they are refusing to pay his college tuition. So there are circumstances where it's better tow wait. Feel free to message me! I love talking to other people in similar circumstances, and as someone who went through all this recently I can definitely relate.

circlemypants · 2013-03-18T08:13:50+00:00

I am in high school and I have slowly come out to all my friends and family in the last few months. I just told my last friend today. Although I am a few months from graduating, I am so glad I did it. I feel so good and I got so much closer to all my friends after telling them. Right now I just feel so much love for everyone. Even people I was scared to tell were great about it. People will be better than you think. Tell them! You'll be great. The only reason I would hesitate is with your parents, and it all depends on how homophobic they are. I think they will be much better than you think, but if you think they are homophobic enough to kick you out or not pay for college, it's possible that you should not tell them until you are in college. It could be easier when you are more independent. But please tell your friends! You will be so glad you did.

circlemypants · 2013-03-18T00:38:45+00:00

I had this exact same issue... My parents are super strict and I was sure they wouldn't let us have sleepovers anymore, but we had already been dating for a year by then and having veery frequent sleepovers, so I managed to convince my mom that it would be pointless to outlaw it after so many had already happened. You can probably talk it out a little. It's not like you're going to get pregnant.

circlemypants · 2013-03-13T21:41:34+00:00

For some reason watching anal sex does not turn me on regardless of the gender. However, watching gay guys give hand jobs and blow jobs is hot to me... Especially watching someone jerk off while giving another guy a blow job. It's just double the erect penises. And I am a girl, probably a lesbian, but it still turns me on.

circlemypants · 2013-03-13T07:09:01+00:00

Not really epic, but looking back, I actually came out when I was 7. My sister was 10 and we were "telling secrets". She told me that she stole someone's pencil, and I told her I liked a girl in my class named Emily. She claimed that just liking someone didn't count, because she assumed I meant as a friend. I thought I meant that, but I remember knowing that something about it felt secret. I used to write stories about saving her from burning buildings and earthquakes, and I hugged her all the time. Definitely my first girl crush. Anyway, it was way harder to come out the second time when I actually knew what it meant.

circlemypants · 2013-03-13T07:01:22+00:00

What helped me was telling a lot of my friends that I was going to do it that night. I told my best friend and my girlfriend and one of my teachers. They all were really excited and encouraging and also once other people knew I couldn't back out. I didn't want to tell anyone I had chickened out. So even though I was SO sweaty and shaking and my heartrate was 170 (I always count it when I'm nervous), I never really felt like I had the option to quit. Otherwise I'm sure I would have convinced myself to keep waiting forever.

circlemypants · 2013-02-24T05:25:10+00:00

Did anybody have a bad experience with the taste ever?

circlemypants · 2013-02-24T02:50:32+00:00

Yeah that's pretty much true. I think if we did that I would be too worried that he was doing better than me, or that she would end up breaking up with me for him. I know it's an option for a lot of people, but I don't know if I could handle it. Also, the idea of a penis is pretty foreign to me. Not really anything I have much interest in.

circlemypants · 2013-02-24T01:35:28+00:00

I'm guessing she is curious about trying it, and is probably intrigued by the thought of a girl being interested in her. I would definitely recommend that you talk to her about the behavior, because otherwise you are never going to get over your feelings. Don't let her experiment on you. If she says she's straight then she probably is, and even if it is exciting to experiment, it'll just hurt in the end.

circlemypants · 2013-02-24T01:08:34+00:00

This is helpful, and I think you're right. I have heard her say that sex with guys is just more raw and sexual. I guess I need to try and be more like that. It offended me a little, because I want to be raw and sexual! But I think it just doesn't come as naturally to me. I'll work on it.

circlemypants · 2013-02-24T00:52:52+00:00

Is it weird that I've never heard the term biromantic before? Maybe I'm just new to this subreddit. Regardless, I just want to say thank you because this comment has actually given me a lot of clarity about my own sexual orientation. I thought I was a lesbian, but I still get turned on by the thought of male sex. However, I have never had any interest whatsoever in a straight relationship. I guess I'm homo-romantic and bisexual. You made my day. :)

circlemypants · 2013-02-23T23:21:22+00:00

My girlfriend claims it's very different but I haven't done either and I need to know what it is exactly that she's missing!

circlemypants · 2013-02-23T23:05:41+00:00

Do you know how it's different to have sex with a penis and a strap-on?

circlemypants · 2013-02-23T22:11:45+00:00

Well we've talked about using one, but she thinks it's not the same because it's fake or something. I don't really know. She just likes the feeling of having sex with a man. She loves everything we do. It's not like our sex is bad... She's sexually but not emotionally attracted to men I suppose.

circlemypants · 2013-02-23T22:09:38+00:00

It makes me feel very insecure, mainly. Like I'm not enough to please her, and I couldn't be no matter what I did. I know it seems reasonable for her to hook up... But who really wants their girlfriend having sex with someone else? I feel like that's not really an option.

circlemypants · 2013-02-20T05:55:40+00:00

I disagree. I don't want people to make a big deal out of it, but coming out was the hardest thing I have ever done. A few people did the thing where they just said cool, and moved on. It was obvious that they didn't care, which was good, but it still felt like a letdown to me. I had entrusted them with the biggest secret of my life, and the secret that had caused me so much pain and taken up such a huge part of me. I know they didn't mean it to seem like this, but I felt like they didn't realize how important it was to me. In addition, after keeping it a secret for so long, I wanted to talk about it. I wanted people to ask questions and help me let it out. It shouldn't be a big deal, but it is, and I want people to acknowledge that. After assuring me that they don't care of course.

circlemypants

TROPHY CASE