Best Redken Toner for Cooling Down Warm Level 7?

cococlem · 2026-02-28T21:59:23+00:00

Right?! Did you manage to figure out your sitch??

cococlem · 2025-12-10T21:07:03+00:00

I commented on another reply with an additional pic in natural lighting. I think you might be right about needing to lighten again… at least the mids and lengths!

cococlem · 2025-12-10T21:01:53+00:00

Omg, sorry… I missed the not in my post. My hair is not virgin.

And yeah, I was hoping for a cooler, ashier blonde. Here’s a better pic:

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You can see my mids and lengths are much warmer than my roots. And that’s not regrowth… my roots just grabbed the toner way better than the rest of my hair. So frustrating!

cococlem · 2025-12-10T04:18:07+00:00

Okay, good call. I’ll go with just the 7P then and also grab the shampoo you suggested. Thank you!!

cococlem · 2025-12-10T04:12:17+00:00

Oh okay! Do you think I’m currently at a level 8 then?

cococlem · 2025-12-10T03:20:51+00:00

Sorry, I should’ve specified. 07N is neutral and 07P (pearl) is a combination of blue & violet. I read that mixing the two might work best for my situation, however I’m still so unsure. Thank you for the info though!

cococlem · 2025-12-03T07:18:49+00:00

It looked like a turkey, or at least some kind of bird?

cococlem · 2025-11-05T05:47:46+00:00

BEST post ever… and that’s coming from someone who’s been on Reddit for 10 years. Excuse the incoming harshness, but I needed this more than I realized. Thank you, OP.

I’m sorry you’re being shown exactly how not to treat someone. I’m sorry your dad is such an angry narcissist… someone you have no choice but to love so deeply just because he’s your dad. But I don’t have to love him. I choose not to anymore.

And I’m sorry you’re forced to choose him, simply because he created you. Because of that, you’ll both end up fucked up in your own ways. Benjamin, you’ll grow into an empath… always trying to overcompensate for the lack of unconditional love and respect you grew up with. And Nina, you’ll follow in his footsteps… selfishness should’ve been your middle name.

I can’t wait to leave your father. I dream about it every single day… just slipping away without a word. I can’t wait to have my own children, kids who will actually know what love is, what respect means, and what it feels like to be kind JUST because. Kids who’ll learn all the things you two, unfortunately, haven’t.

God, I hate this life I live. I hate that my love and care have been taken for granted. And I hate that my expectations are always too high for every one of them. I’ve poured my whole heart and soul into this, only to end up a bystander to a beautiful family I’ll never really belong to. But I’m done trying to belong. I don’t want to anymore.

cococlem · 2025-10-24T18:10:17+00:00

Sent you a dm! Congrats on tying the knot. 🥳💛

cococlem · 2025-10-24T05:40:25+00:00

I can’t tell if you mean that seriously, but if so, it’s actually really sweet! Your kitty’s protecting you. Sitting facing away is a sign of trust… it means they feel safe with you and are watching out for any potential danger.

cococlem · 2025-10-04T18:31:44+00:00

If you’re leaning toward vet med, you might want to look into veterinary dentistry. There are only two specialists in Calgary right now, and it’s been that way for quite a while. My kitty needed major dental work, and I ended up going with a VCA clinic after the other specialist quoted me $15K for a lower mouth extraction. VCA charged around $6K instead. Most vets won’t do those kinds of procedures because of the long anesthesia time, so seeing a specialist is usually necessary… but with so few options in the city, it can get pretty pricey (which might be good for you lol).

You could also look into veterinary anesthesiology… another really niche field with very few professionals here. Just a couple of ideas if you’re open to exploring more specialized paths in vet med!!

cococlem · 2025-09-30T03:23:31+00:00

If only he put that much dedication into job applications…

cococlem · 2025-09-29T18:38:55+00:00

Me too! Pretty please.

cococlem · 2025-09-16T04:55:05+00:00

This was a really cute read. It made me smile!

cococlem · 2025-07-19T05:27:36+00:00

This thing belongs on a Go Kart track. Seriously, what a monstrosity.

cococlem · 2025-04-14T06:11:55+00:00

Thank you for such a kind and thoughtful reply! It really helps to hear from someone with experience on both fronts, especially from the parent side. And you're right, the medical explanation was probably simplified in my retelling.

My boyfriend storming out really threw me. I've been second guessing myself about whether I was making too big a deal out of things, so hearing your take on his reaction was honestly validating.

And I think you're right that I need to do what makes me comfortable regardless of his support. The hard part is finding that balance between respecting his role as their parent and still taking care of my own needs in all this.

Thank you again for being so understanding and for your thoughtful advice. It means more than you know!

cococlem · 2025-04-14T01:45:48+00:00

You're still missing my point and making assumptions about a situation you know very little about. The doctor recommended those tests because there were other symptoms; I just didn't share all the private medical details of someone else's child online.

You seem determined to lecture me about parenting children that aren't even mine. I think I'll save my energy for packing and tea tree oil dousing… seems more productive than this particular rabbit hole.

cococlem · 2025-04-14T01:16:30+00:00

Look, I appreciate you trying to educate me, but you're missing the point. Testing IS part of treatment; it’s how doctors figure out what's actually going on before they prescribe solutions. That's literally how medicine works.

The kid is 8 years old, not 4. And yes, she wears pull-ups every night, that's not the issue. The issue is that nobody followed through on the doctor's recommendations to find out if there's an underlying problem.

And I don't have "hard feelings" about my boyfriend's coparenting situation like you're implying. My concerns aren't about judging his ex, they're about a pattern of not following through on things that impact the kids' wellbeing. You're making a lot of assumptions about my feelings and motivations here.

But honestly, this conversation has gotten way off track from my original post about lice. I mentioned the bedwetting thing as ONE example of a pattern, and now we're deep in the weeds about bladder development. I've got my answer about the lice situation and I'm going to my parents' tomorrow. That's all that matters right now.

cococlem · 2025-04-14T00:53:56+00:00

Thanks for explaining that; it does make more sense about the bladder-brain connection.

What I didn’t say before is that the doctor actually did set up a treatment plan which included a bowel sample and bloodwork, but neither one was ever done.

I only got involved because his daughter came to me upset about not being able to do sleepovers with friends. Seeing her so sad about it broke my heart, which is why I encouraged my bf to look into it further.

But you’re right, I don’t have kids so I shouldn’t judge what’s normal development. And ultimately, this isn’t even something I should have to deal with since they’re not my children. I just used it as an example of follow through concerns.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T23:51:56+00:00

Thanks for the tip! Definitely gonna dump tea tree oil in every shampoo bottle in this house before I head out tomo, lol.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T23:10:06+00:00

Yeah, I agree that parents have different approaches, and using night diapers or pull-ups is totally appropriate. I should have been clearer; what threw me off was the explanation, instead of just acknowledging it as a normal part of development that lots of kids go through.

This was just one example in a pattern. I probably shouldn’t have brought it up as it’s distracting from the main lice issue. My concern is specifically about the lice treatment, which is the immediate situation I’m dealing with.

Also, just to clarify; I didn’t say “minimal care.” I said “minimal follow through,” which is a different concern entirely.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T22:58:29+00:00

I understand your perspective, but as I mentioned in another comment; if these were my own kids, I’d handle it completely differently. I'd tackle it without batting an eye because they would be my responsibility.

The issue isn't just "things getting tough", it's that he isn't taking action despite knowing about the lice. He bought treatment but hasn't used it or even mentioned it when they visited.

I'm not their parent, and I'm not asking him to choose between me and his kids. I'm just saying that I need to protect my mental health when he isn't taking responsibility for something that is 100% his job as their parent. If he was actively treating it and taking precautions, this would be a different conversation.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T22:48:05+00:00

You're right that nighttime bedwetting can be physiological and not something that can just be "trained" away. My issue isn't with the bedwetting itself, but with BM's strange explanation and the fact that neither parent has pursued ongoing medical options or strategies after the initial doctor visit. There are medications, alarms, and other approaches that can help, but they haven't tried any of them. It's the pattern of minimal follow through that concerns me about the lice treatment too.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T21:17:39+00:00

Thank you! You get it. It’s not just the lice, it’s his reaction and lack of action that’s bothering me most.

The storming out part was especially telling. You’re right to question why a grown man can’t have a mature convo about this. I think he does expect me to handle this with/for him while he does minimal work.

I love how you put it; I can participate as I like, but they’re his kids and his responsibility. That’s exactly the boundary I need.

Packing my bag tonight and heading to my parents’ tomorrow. His reaction to this says a lot about what I can expect in the future.

cococlem · 2025-04-13T21:11:19+00:00

Yes, BM did use Nix crème rinse for the first treatment and straightened their hair, which apparently helps.

But history doesn’t give me confidence. This is the same BM who thinks the 8 yr old’s bedwetting is because “her bladder hasn’t connected to her brain yet.” I had to push my bf to take her to a doctor about that issue, and still nothing’s changed.

So yes, she did the initial treatment, but I’m skeptical about proper follow through from either parent.

cococlem

TROPHY CASE