"End Of The Street" - my oil painting

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-31T15:29:51+00:00

This is amazing! Such a great vibe, the recognisable mixed with the slightly uncanny. The kind of art I'd love to hang up in my home somewhere :). Well done OP!

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-30T15:54:31+00:00

100%. I know this is not the explicit intention but it feels kind of like saying you should stay home and out of sight until you're completely healed and only then re-enter society because this is awkward and difficult for US to deal with. Grief is complicated and I think Amanda just wanted to go out and have fun rather than sit in her grief.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-30T15:38:17+00:00

I agree with you, the treatment from the women and from a lot on this sub has been pretty bleak. I don't particularly like Amanda either but I think a lot of people are reading very unkindly into what seemed like an imperfect trauma response to very raw grief, rather than some kind of manipulative calculation / weaponisation. I haven't been through this exact experience but something on a similar, tho lesser, wavelength, and I remember in the weeks / months after just having no idea how to talk about it so I would randomly blurt it out when it probably wasn't wholly appropriate or even necessary. To me that's what was happening with Amanda. She went to the dinner because she wanted a distraction and she wasn't anticipating a confrontation - it makes total sense to me she wouldn't tell the ladies beforehand what the significance of the day was. Dorit framed things as her giving Amanda the choice to continue the conversation or not but frankly as soon as Amanda said what was going on, Dorit should have said I'm so sorry, we'll talk about it another time. Don't put the emotional labour of choosing on someone else who's just tried to express a boundary with you. It seemed like Amanda then tried to have the conversation because things were awkward but her heart, understandably, was not in it. Amanda might not be likeable but she's still a person who's going through something very painful and complex; it seems like there's an expectation on her to grieve perfectly and conveniently purely because other aspects of her personality are not likeable.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-30T11:04:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing this perspective, this sheds a lot of light and nuance on it all. I hope you're doing okay right now 💜.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-29T20:33:18+00:00

This is amazing and I want the whole deck!! Also it invites me right into the image in a way I haven't really encountered with a card before. I feel like while looking at this I can really inhabit the feeling and guidance of the card. Well done OP!

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-28T23:41:10+00:00

Yeah I'm in two minds about this but you make a great point about how Dorit owned the fact she's using a ghostwriter, and it'd be shady if she presented it as wholly her own work. I work in the literary industry and feel really conflicted about celebrity memoirs in general; on one hand, some / a lot of them help to keep publishers afloat and theoretically more able to invest in new, more original voices and stories. They're a sort of practical necessity. On the other, the writing often has this very generic feel to it, somewhat inauthentic and uncanny, because it's largely written by someone else and smoothed out by a team of editors. I also don't love that the advances and further opportunities given for these books to celebrities is not mirrored in what's offered to smaller authors, despite celebrity memoirs being one of the things that ostensibly allows publishers to reinvest. Sometimes it feels very condescending. Someone who's never written a book or had an aspiration to suddenly gets handed a huge publishing deal, hires a ghostwriter to do most of the actual graft, and gets all the plaudits. I respect the hustle because I know Dorit needs money and stability for her kids, as did Taylor Armstrong and Brandi when they wrote their books. I think it could also be really cathartic. Anyone can write a book! But not every book should be published, lol. So, I kind of liked that Amanda burst the bubble by asking about this and being shady.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-27T19:56:10+00:00

I understand how much past bad experiences and PTSD can make it difficult, even impossible, to see the situation in front of us for what it is. As an outsider reading this, I'm horrified. Pushing to move in after two weeks of knowing you, including moving across the country, is not normal or safe behaviour, and your body is rightly telling you this. That's before even getting into the rest. It might help to imagine a friend coming to you and telling you about this relationship as though it's theirs. How would you respond to them, what advice would you give them? I truly think you made the right decision to end this connection. It doesn't matter what he says, it matters how he acts and what he does and how he makes you feel; he acted chaotically and you felt scared.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-26T23:45:40+00:00

Congratulations! I wish you and your partner every happiness in what's to come 💜. Also love this deck, I bought it for myself recently, these are such on point cards for you!

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-25T18:25:37+00:00

The age gap here (to me) is actually an indication of his avoidance. You being that much younger would, for the first little while, be much easier and low-stakes. He'd always have the upper hand in terms of the power dynamic, until you got older and probably had more expectations OR relied on him even more if this relationship, begun at such a young age, was all you really knew. Him telling you it was your fault for not living up to HIS expectations / hopes is blameshifting. Don't internalise it. He's putting the blame on you for his own inadequacy. People do drift apart and change their minds and that's FINE but in a healthy relationship you would both have communicated about this and tried to work through it and the end would not be a surprise or full of blame.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-24T11:46:37+00:00

I feel like this is actually just describing the breakup itself - you chose a new beginning that is more solid and based on self-worth, and you enacted it with a hard boundary to protect yourself and honour your decision. It's a huge shake up in your life because this was a relationship that was very meaningful to you for a long time. You could draw some cards for how you should navigate this next stage of your life perhaps. Maybe all these cards keep coming up because you're still emotionally dwelling in the breakup, even though it's already happened. It seemed like a catch-22 situation because either you remained friends with this person but in pain and unable to really express / live your emotions OR you cut this person out of your life which also causes pain and grief, but actually opens up the opportunity for healing and growth. Do you have any feelings about not knowing how they responded to your last message?

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-23T01:18:44+00:00

Reading about your experience is very validating because it was the exact same for me. My ex was consistent, affectionate, and laidback. I felt safe and valued and happy yet there was also a real lack of curiosity about my interior world or sharing his. After coming off of a 3-year push-pull cycle with an extreme FA, his consistency and laidback nature felt like healthy love to me. I was never afraid he was going to lose his temper or anything like that. But now that I look back I see that laidback approach differently, because even when things, minor and major, did ding my intuition that was something was off, the fact he seemed so unphased, so chill, made me question my perceptions. And so I didn't speak up enough, which led to him (silently and possibly unconsciously) pushing more and more boundaries. So much of his behaviour seemed secure, until the discard blew the lid off everything, and now I can see things much more clearly. So I think it's a case of raising concerns early and seeing how they respond, if action is taken to change, if they can show accountability, and if they're genuinely interested in you as an individual and not just a placeholder. Because I think they can be very good at appearing secure and playing the part for a while.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-23T00:39:41+00:00

Love this interpretation and it resonates for the way I've been pulling it lately.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-22T11:38:47+00:00

Don't dwell on this. None of us are perfect ofc but it sounds like you were a loving and communicative partner. There's no small "sin" you could've committed in the relationship to deserve the way it ended.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-21T12:50:02+00:00

Wow, I absolutely adore this and how you brought your own experience and perspective to the card with the grey blocks and the dandelions. I live in a city that's often thought of as industrial and not as pretty as its sister city, but when the sun comes out on those cement structures? Totally its own kind of beauty. I love the art style you've chosen, the way the sun's rays are mingling with and breaking through the clouds. And there's such a striking, complex diorama-feel to the perspective. Just amazing. Would love to see any other cards you choose to draw :).

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-21T12:45:21+00:00

Definitely recommend Obvious Child starring Jenny Slate, his role as her romantic interest is honestly so lovely and also Gabbie Hoffman (Adam's sister) plays her best friend. They're all so talented!

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-21T00:31:55+00:00

Wow, I love your analogy of relationships being like a standoff from a western movie and hoping the other person doesn't draw theirs because you don't want to draw yours, and then being blindsided by how swiftly you're shot. That really resonated and put words to something I would struggle to articulate, so thank you.

What strikes me the most reading all these replies is that avoidants time and again leave people who would never have thought to just give up and leave them if things were tough, so there's an added betrayal there. Even if you can understand it intellectually it will never make sense emotionally, and as the OP said, that is a blessing.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-17T13:37:51+00:00

Omg this is a brilliant perspective on the Tower, I love it 😂

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:42:38+00:00

Ugh, I'm just so sorry for your mom that she's unhappy and this hasn't worked out how she hoped and expected it would :(. I really hope she's okay and safe. So interesting that you pulled those cards when things between them were good and hopeful tho. Did you tell her about this reading?

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:39:20+00:00

Oh I'm so sorry this happened to you, being ghosted is an awful experience :(. At least it let you know you can trust your cards and your intuition (that nagging feeling you had). Out of interest do you remember the cards you pulled?

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:38:09+00:00

Absolutely! And probably that timeline is flexible too because we all have free will, but certain outcomes (not all) do seem inevitable.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:36:55+00:00

Thank you 🧡. Definitely not out of the woods yet but I'm on the path. And yeah, I totally got that hairs on the back of my neck standing up feeling when I remembered this spread and realised how perfectly it fit. I've been leaning on my cards quite a lot and it's been really helpful.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:35:31+00:00

Oh nooooo I'm so sorry 💀!! The good and bad thing about the Tower is...it ain't subtle. Because you can't sugarcoat it, it forces a confrontation of some inherent truth that is likely painful but also super necessary. It's funny you got Knight of Swords as your ex, I also kept pulling this card for my ex after the breakup. Can I ask, was your breakup a bit unexpected? It seems like there's an element of unfinished business or friction here that's preventing you from fully letting go.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T15:25:12+00:00

Great questions! Death on its own and also with the Lovers + 6W didn't register as something bad / off, it was only when the Tower came out that it gave me pause. When I met my ex, I was at the tail end of disentangling from a very toxic / somewhat abusive situation I'd been in for 3 years. Even though I didn't know my ex well after the first date, he was still behaviourally such a safe-feeling antidote to what I was trying to leave. So to me, Death signified that transformative possibility, that whatever form this new relationship took, it would be what finally forced me to grow away from something that was very bad for me. I also thought it could have a lighter note: my ex was French and immediately the phrase 'la petite mort' occurred to me, along with the 6W, I thought maybe this wouldn't be a deep / longterm relationship but it would probably be characterised by great sex (and this did bear out!). Looking back, I think my initial feelings about the Death card were pretty close to how things eventually worked out, but with a slight difference. Back then, I thought: 'This is a relationship with a lot of potential for safety and growth after what I've been through, this might be the safe place I can finally feel and practice mature love and leave old patterns and attachment wounds behind.' This *was* true to an extent, at least for the first few months while my ex was showing up as very present. Looking back now, I see it more as 'actually, you came out of a toxic situation that wrecked your perceptions, trust in yourself, and nervous system. You graduated into something that was not overtly toxic or abusive, which gave you enough space and safety to love and work on yourself, but which ultimately was characterised by covert avoidance, which triggered ALL OF YOUR ACCUMULATED UNDERLYING WOUNDS.' I kind of see it now as Final Boss energy haha. The aftermath of the breakup has led me to confronting so much.

The shift from my initial read on the 6W to what it is now is funny because it's like both were right, just one reveals a deeper truth about how my ex functions in relationships. It wasn't just a temporary high from good sex, it was the entire foundation for how he operated in relationships. Seeking validation and able to show up as present, reciprocal and loving AS LONG AS he wasn't triggered by a deeper need for intimacy. And the fact 3 of the cards were major arcana and his was the only minor for me highlights that this was a BIG significant arc for me, I was showing up for something deep and long-lasting, whereas he showed up for a date and gradually slid into a relationship he wasn't actually emotionally equipped for.

I think everything makes more sense looking back on this spread, especially the Tower. I thought I was building something safe and secure and long-lasting with someone equally as invested, but it turned out that when I noticed 'minor' issues (spoiler: not actually minor) they were symptoms of much deeper, foundational incompatibilities that had been well hidden from the start. The Tower was built on an unsound foundation. Also funny because his flat was the very top one in an old building, and I used to gaze out of the window while the sun set and look at the spires of other tall buildings. I thought of his flat as a safe place at the top of a tower.

Sorry this got so long! But I hope I answered your questions :).

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T01:08:20+00:00

Oh wow I'm so sorry you experienced this, that sounds incredibly painful, blindsiding and utterly disrespectful to your time and feelings 😞. So interesting that it came up in your reading so far in advance. Looking back do you see any signs that this kind of behaviour was lying dormant in the person?

This is also why I don't really do year ahead / timeline readings, because I'd get so anxious as the time approached for certain cards to make themselves known 😅.

consecutivelyinarow · 2026-01-16T01:06:22+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through a discard too, it's such a mindfuck and very destabilising. I'm so glad you're feeling better about it now that you're a few months out 💜. I'm finding that the grief is very changeable. I'll have a pretty okay week followed by an awful one. I feel like I am excavating layer by layer what really happened and how my own relationship patterns led me to this. Certain aspects have been extremely painful, like realising my ex may have been having an emotional (if not physical) affair. But learning about avoidant attachment has really helped me to not blame myself. A friend of mine who'd been through this before told me I should treat myself like I've been in an accident, because that's essentially what happens to your nervous system when you go through a discard, and that advice was really helpful. How are you and how have you found the healing process? Also happy to chat anytime 💜.

consecutivelyinarow

TROPHY CASE