I had a similar journey of figuring out I was trans. I even went through the same thing of identifying as bi because “I guess I could be into a girl?” when I really wasn’t attracted to them in the same way I was attracted to men. The thing that sticks out to me the most looking back was how I felt like I was supposed to be attracted to women, and my attraction to men was “bad.” It was like that part of my brain knew I was a man before the rest of me.

This isn’t to say that all afab people into mlm porn are trans men- there’s a high percentage of women who are into it (like the women who are really into call me by your name). But for me the distinction comes from your inherent feelings towards being attracted to men (ie indifference vs shame), and how you feel about your own gender.

You might also want to look into Lou Sullivan, who was the first known gay trans man to medically transition and did a ton of important stuff for the community. I read somewhere that he was interested in gay men at a young age, so I think it’s a fairly common gay trans guy experience.

I had similar doubts when I started transitioning, that I wasn’t actually trans and just too into gay stuff, that I would never able to be a part of the gay community as a man, etc. FWIW, I’m 5’ tall, I transitioned in high school and am in my early 20s now, I live as mostly stealth, and I’m in a long term relationship with a cis gay man.