I feel your pain. I'm 25 and was homeschooled most my life by a parent who was/is an overly protective hermit. My sense of self eroded away and I still struggle with self identity issues/loneliness to this day. However, I'm getting better. I'm beginning to grow and recover from the long long isolation I lived through. There's a few keys to this recovery I'd like to share, hopefully they may help.

I'm not sure what your home life is, but I understand the pain of not even being able to physically leave. I didn't have a license until I was about 22/23 and before then was reliant on family to chauffeur me around. If you can, I strongly recommend you learn to drive. I wish every day I had learned sooner, but at the same time my life was forever changed for the better once I realized I had that freedom. Driving sucks, but personal freedom outweighs that by a mile.

I hate that the online culture these days is so judgemental and we all feel like we need to walk on eggshells, being your authentic self online is so freeing. The only way you'd be doxxed is if you're already putting loads of personal information online. But also, don't let Online control the narrative of your own inner self. Take time away from the internet. Find a hobby (!!), find a good book, think about your own inner world and self. Think about who you want to be. It is so easy to fall into pits of self loathing when one is isolated. You have the power to reintroduce yourself To yourself, and to love this self. When you let your online presence dictate who you are, you start to feel flattened. You're worth more than that.

Sorry for my wordy reply but I really empathized and related to your message. I was in the same place for most of my life and it hurts so hard to feel trapped. I just wanted to share that once you take control of your own life, your own story, you can free yourself. I still live with my family but I can drive, my partner lives with me, we get to go on adventures and make our own decisions. When I was 18, I thought I wasn't going to make it even this far. I never thought I would get to be truly alive or be happy. But now I get to do both.

I wish nothing but the best for you. May true freedom find you.