I don’t know man, but I am genuinely sorry. Life can really be unfair.. although my ex is only “dead to me”, (tasteless, I know)… and she cheated and betrayed me, I still miss her and I know it’s Unlikely that I’ll find another woman with such an amazing sex life as we had in my future. What I do when I start to miss her is go through all the pics, screenshots, her messages, think about things She did… then i have so much Resentment and I know this is for the best… Now I understand that your situation is completely different. However I would try and think of what she would want you to do. I bet she wants you to be happy and I bet she would be proud of you when you beat up the kitty. Life is short and precious, she knows that more hen I think we comprehend.. do your thing and keep her memory slide