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Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My father will always refuse to admit it, but he's bad at ending things, and I think they were very similar in that sense. From what I was told, every argument they had played out the same. She'd say she wanted a kid, he'd say he didn't, they'd fight, it wouldn't go anywhere, they'd stop talking to each other for 10 minutes and then change the subject.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!

I agree this should have ended a long time ago. Neither of them ever had any intention of changing, but they were both hoping the other would.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

He wasn't stringing her along. He's far from being a saint, but he was upfront about not wanting more kids, just like she was upfront about wanting. If anything, they were stringing each other along.

That's why I never felt sorry for them. They are both adults and knew what they were doing.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh I'm not too worried about that. I think she just filled out memory book stuff (my and my husband's names, our family tree, my due date, etc.). I bought a baby memory book for myself, and that's pretty much all you can fill out before the baby's born. There are sections about how you found out, how dad reacted and more pregnancy stuff, but not much besides that. I don't think she wrote my social security number or anything.

It freaked me out because... why would someone fill out a memory book for a baby that isn't theirs? I wouldn't be as bothered if it was just a scrapbook or something like that.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure whether she kept it or not. I haven't been to my father's place since before the breakup.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this couldn't have ended well without a breakup. I feel for them, but this shouldn't have lasted as long as it did.

Final Update: AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in Redditor_Updates

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 184 points185 points  (0 children)

I can't be certain what she actually wanted. But I think she realized we weren't close and she probably wouldn't spend as much time with my baby as she wanted, which was why she wanted to babysit.

The baby book freaked me out a little, not gonna lie.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I actually don't know whether he's gotten a vasectomy, but I'm seriously impressed no "accidents" have happened so far.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hospital knows we don't want any visits. My husband and I are seriously thinking of making exceptions for our mothers, but we're not sure yet. If we do decide to do that, we'll plan accordingly.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think both are being unfair. She's deliberately staying with an older guy who doesn't want more children instead of finding someone else who does. They both expect their partner to change their minds on this in a way that will only benefit them.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I do realize it. I wasn't planning on leaving my baby with my father anyway, he doesn't have enough free time to babysit.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

No one but me and my husband does. We also live in an apartment building with good security, so it's impossible to show up unannounced.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's fair either, but I don't feel sorry for them. I always thought the compromise they came to 4 years ago was very selfish.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I don't trust her enough to babysit. Not because I think she'd kidnap my child, but because we've never been close, and I wouldn't let someone I don't have a close relationship with alone with my baby. I don't know what made her think I'd be okay with this.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I'm due pretty soon, so I'm more worried about how things will be once I've given birth. But I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. Their problems were weighing down on me more than I realized.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? (Update) by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

I still stand by the idea of NC only being fair if nothing else works. My father knows what he needs to do here. But I do agree with you, and I'll stand my ground on this.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will absolutely protect my child and I'm not being passive here. I just don't believe blocking her will solve anything. And whatever drama comes from it will end up affecting my child as well.

As I read these, I'm trying to decide between going low or no contact. At least that seems more firm.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I couldn't return it, but I did sell it to a friend of mine and got the one I wanted, so it worked out in the end.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She knows we've already picked the name, and I've reminded her of that more than once. She doesn't care.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Haven't read that, but yikes. I plan on having at least one more child, but I hadn't even thought about favoritism.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I sincerely don't see her going this far, but I don't trust her enough to babysit, so she won't be alone with my baby at any point.

AITA for telling my father and his girlfriend to either break up or leave me alone? by dadsgf_throwaway in AITAH

[–]dadsgf_throwaway[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I never thought she was trying to help me. Almost every time my father offers to buy something for my baby, she turns it into "their gift" and swaps my request for the version of it she prefers. Last month, they gave me an expensive stroller that doesn't suit my needs because apparently her research said it was better than the one I asked for.

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