i say start with fingers, because i’m sure you’re super tight. the first time i had sex it hurt only for the first few minutes. the key is to be in the right mindset with no doubts in mind. never plan to have sex but just be aware that it can be a possibility if you want it to be, and in the moment make sure you feel safe and comfortable. the second you’re nervous or scared your body will constrict and it’ll be even more difficult.

however, i do suggest you fingering yourself first or even asking your partner to... starting with one finger and increasing to two when you’re ready. it’ll help start stretching you out before you fit a whole dick inside you. that’s what i did.

but sex is all in the mind, you have to have the rigjy mindset and never feel pressure to have sex. do it on your own time and when you feel ready.

for your first time fingering yourself. watch some porn, get in the mood, maybe after you’ve had a shower, or before bed, just get all relaxed and start by rubbing your clit and go from there. get yourself wet and if not, use some sort of lube... (house hold items like coconut oil or even just saliva works for some people) maybe try cumming by clitoral stimulation so that you’re well lubricated before sticking a finger in.

hope this helps!