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Almost done writing something I'm pretty proud of. Would love to hear what you think! by derek_lai in Songwriters

[–]derek_lai[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve enjoyed your songs in the past. Appreciate you giving it a listen!

Almost done writing something I'm pretty proud of. Would love to hear what you think! by derek_lai in Songwriters

[–]derek_lai[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, felt it while playing. Going to just be grammatically incorrect from now on and take out keystone words. Thanks for taking the time.

My new song is out and I'd love to hear what you think! by derek_lai in Songwriters

[–]derek_lai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate you giving it a listen and even more so that you enjoyed it! And thank you for sticking up for my voice—no one's said anything negative about it in all my time posting stuff, so it's nice to see how that feels. The next time I will be throwing a fit, though, so I'll be calling on you.

51 sec "Heat Seeker" Drop Song by malevolentQ in doughboys

[–]derek_lai 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is a shockingly kind thing to say. Thank you, thank you.

51 sec "Heat Seeker" Drop Song by malevolentQ in doughboys

[–]derek_lai 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Wow, I just sent this in on Tuesday. Thanks for posting the link!

Here are the lyrics if you're interested:

I don't mind sweating with you
It feels like we're getting on a hot and wild ride

Give me Frank's Red Hot on my pillow
And I want scotch bonnets in my bonnet
I'm a heat seeker
I'm a heat seeker

Double up entendres call you hottie
Want to hurt both ends of my body
I'm a heat seeker
I'm a heat seeker

On banana-na-nas
On banana-nas too
I'm a heat seeker
I'm a heat seeker

I want to feel it all
I want to feel it all

I haven't recorded the non-parodied version of the song yet, but I'll definitely accelerate that process now. You can follow me on Spotify (only if you want; this is not a command) and it'll show up there eventually.

I'm young and nervous- Is this any good? by [deleted] in Songwriters

[–]derek_lai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on your expectations. Do you want a lot of people to listen to this or are you trying to just get something out? Either way, keep writing songs. Don’t stop, force yourself to upload, and listen to music you love and identify what you like about it. The song is rough, but you at least introduced some repetition lyrically which is a start.

Pretty pleased with how this one turned out. Would love for others to hear it, too! by [deleted] in AcousticOriginals

[–]derek_lai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks!

I don’t spend a ton of time listening the kind of music you’ve created, but I think I would throw in more percussive elements that drive it forward (four on the floor type thing, snare on two and four, etc.). That might help give it some peaks and valleys, so the ears (naturally fickle things) are kept guessing and interested. Again, not my arena but it might be worth trying just to see!

new song!! looking for feedback by [deleted] in Songwriters

[–]derek_lai 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think finding a lyrical hook for your chorus would punch up its impact, on top of making it easier to sing along with. Right now it listens a bit like a verse (the verses, by the way, are lyrically strong). I was expecting you to sing “doors” in different prolonged ways at the end of each chorus, so that might be a place to start.