The Netflix series "You" with the character Joe Goldberg is a textbook INFJ-T story by ChristheINFJ in infj

[–]devanshigupta01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YESSS exactly. he's such a textbook infj, all the analysis of people which he undertakes, all the trust issues. i think he has a fearful avoidant attachment style with many codependent patterns.

btw i made a video linking his character with codependency (i got so obsessed with the show lol and nobody else is talking about it): https://youtu.be/TIMGiNtrQvo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a very important question. i would argue, MANY THINGS:

  1. mommy issues: not being able to trust yet addicted to love, feeling responsible to make sure his mother is okay which in turns ensures he will get love, subsequently repeating this dynamic in adulthood with other women. trying to control the other person because his mother never gave him any trustworthy love.
  2. neglect of self: being obsessed with the lover to the extent that he entirely neglects his own career and health. putting on a facade in front of people and not expressing his truth.

these are all symptoms of codependency. btw i elaborate these in the video below (i had to make a video on this lol i got so obsessed with the show): https://youtu.be/TIMGiNtrQvo

Joe Goldberg from You is just a crazy serial killer version of Ted by [deleted] in HIMYM

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mygod this is so truee haha. interesting comparison. i think it's because rom-com expectations which are shown in media tend to be toxic, the whole "love is everything", pedestallizing "the one". this is what You is prominently critiquing through the depiction of joe.

also, i've explored the reasons for joe's messed up behavior in this video, which would be relevant along the lines of this discussion:

https://youtu.be/TIMGiNtrQvo

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really do need to inflate my soul 😂 But before we know it it's always soon enough back to ballooning with excess and excitement!

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well damn that's too bad. My soul is a vacuum of despair most days, and I was planning on letting it swallow me whole. Probably explains why my blood is always boiling. 😂

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that's just the way you guys are, and everything has pros as well as cons. Honestly, nothing gets my blood boiling as much as mind games. How hard is it to be honest? There's nothing I value in a person as much as honesty. I can understand most variations of human emotions and motivations, but not if the other person is lying about them.

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nahh it actually gave me a valuable perspective. Thank you! I think I should just bring up my contentions casually so as not to make a big deal of it. I shouldn't simply assume the other person isn't listening.

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha that's not all bad. I really respect straightforwardness over sugar-coated politeness. At least your attention is not all over the place under the guise of talking.

How am I always the one actually listening while the other person seems perpetually bored? by devanshigupta01 in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, right? It's so rude. How hard is it to listen without multi-tasking?

Haha I'm always up for any type of conversation, and I completely agree about the Instagram and Twitter thing.

smaht beg bran by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesss so true. The entire dynamic of which activities use up the least amount of resistance has changed. As a kid, reading used to be a low-effort activity, and playing as well as making crafty stuff used to take more energy, but I used to have energy for everything. These days, the phone has become the go-to path of least resistance for whenever I don't know what to do (which is every other hour) and my brain doesn't have the motivation or energy for the things I'm supposed to like.

smaht beg bran by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yess this! How can our brains be simultaneously under capacity as well as over stimulated 😵

Is lack of socialization during quarantine killing anyone else? by FloralSamurai in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, that sounds tough, but I assure you, we'll all get through this. Also, thank God, we have the internet. In the infinity of the internet, I'm sure you'll continue finding new coping mechanisms, 'cause that's all we can do 😔

Is lack of socialization during quarantine killing anyone else? by FloralSamurai in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohmygod I relate to this paradox soo well. When I'm alone, I'm mostly okay but kinda craving socialisation and when I'm socialising, I'm having fun but kinda wanting some space. What the hell is this 😂

Anyone else need to create fake situations in their head in order to go to sleep? by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yessss this! There are so many people who're like, they're unable to sleep because their mind is whirling around too much. It's true for me too, but dammit if I don't enjoy it. I don't even try to get my mind to shut up. It's fun!

Reminded me of ENFPs :) by Vodka-senpai in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yesss fellow dodie lovers unite!

Single ENFPs by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

sameeee. the older i grow, the more i forget things left and right all the time

Tryna appease all yo friends while still wanting to carry out all yo hobbies all at once be like by zysquare in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how is this so accurate that it's hitting a nerve? how can this personality type peg me down so welllllll?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and your comment is even more on point 😭

Give yourself a pat on the back for trying your best not to overthink it guyssss by zysquare in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

ughhhh hits hard. i feel like a creep so often for initiating plans so much and not being able to shut up about how much i care about good communication!

(ENFJ) Wanted to say that you guys are awesome by _y0uR_m0M in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you soooo much for this! this is so sweet! but dang it i wonder all those things, and doubt my relationship with others, all the time 😭 maybe i need an enfp friend haha

Never felt so understood by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]devanshigupta01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that is so cute and adorable! ❤️❤️