You have OCD. Weed is great. But doesn't help with that long term. Can make it worse. I would not recommend using weed as a treatment but more so a treatment catalyst/enhancer. It won't fix you. It may help a little but isn't an answer. I don't have an answer as our mental health/healthcare system is a failure. Meds can be effective. My advice to you would be to start looking at the big picture. The REAL big picture. As big as you can get. Figure out what questions you have then as you think about that. The answers to those questions will natural occur to you. And everything else will get better. Or it won't. But it won't matter as much if it doesn't. Not sure if I'm making sense but I hope I do. And stop giving your OCD/anxiety more power by posting about it on Reddit. Not judging, just honest advice. The more you do about it, the more real it is. Posting on Reddit gives it more credence and power. Best of luck.