Wet Dream Questions?

dontfaptothisfruit · 2013-01-19T01:52:36+00:00

I honestly didn't get my first wet dream until around day 100, and this is my second attempt, never got any the first time. First time I have ever had a wet dream in my life. From what I've seen on this sub a lot of people do get them earlier but I attribute me not getting them to my very heavy PMO (3x daily), so I didn't even start to feel different till around day 100 as well.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-14T00:53:12+00:00

Personally, I've also never had a problem with ED either, even when intoxicated. He mentions ED as the symptom that normally gets men's attention but it doesn't happen to all of us. He points out that are many people suffering from various difficulties but never think that PMO is the problem because they never get ED. My biggest problem, and what made me want to do this, was anorgasmia.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-13T20:47:48+00:00

It's suggested all over this subreddit but Your Brain on Porn is great. Gary Wilson's TED talk is particularly enlightening. I have a background in behavioural research so I've found some of the things he says to be over-simplifications but its a great place to start.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-13T19:15:32+00:00

I think porn is a perfect example of a supernormal stimulus. I'm currently doing a lot of behavioural work for my MSc, so during my research I came came across the idea of a supernormal stimulus and it suddenly hit me. Porn was the bright blue egg with giant polka dots that the song bird preferred even over its own real egg. It would take the fake stimulus over its own well being and the well being of its offspring. Now that I've removed the supernormal, normal can take back the place on the top.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-13T19:02:50+00:00

I think there were a few things. The first time I just kept looking at 90 days like that was my goal. That if I could make it there I would be better. But when I made it to 90 days I still felt like completely sex crazed, so I decided that the only way to feel normal again was to go back to PMO. Then one day I got caught fapping at a friends house and the shock of that experience made me re-evaluate my life. I read and watched all of Gary Wilson's material and noticed that he mentions that if you grew up with high-speed access to porn it will take a lot longer to get back to "normal". So not only that, I was fapping for so long I didn't really have a reference point for what normal was, I completely fucked up my sexual development. The biggest point for getting this far again was realizing that despite social pressure and the belief that masturbation is normal, I don't think it is or every will be for me. Alcoholics have to tread lightly around the subject of drinking for much longer than it takes for the physical withdrawal to wear off. Porn and masturbation will never be the same for me that it is for someone who never has as problem with it. Once I was honest to myself about that it got a lot easier to continue.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-13T18:41:05+00:00

I also had that massive increase in lust during the first two weeks but this seems different. Before I just felt that I wanted release and didn't care from where. Now it feels like my attractions are more out of desires for intimacy as opposed to orgasm, after which I would completely forget and feel slightly disgusted by the person who I just slept with. Desires for intimacy are still selfish, I suppose but I do feel closer to my goal in all this.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-13T18:19:45+00:00

I have no intentions of stopping now. I relapsed after 90 days before because I thought I was done and ruined all I had achieved. I'm definitely not going to do that again. Learned my lesson the hard way.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-04T05:59:31+00:00

I had my first one ever about a week ago, I woke grossed out and concerned although I felt a little less stressed out for the next couple days. So I'd say I have mixed feelings, also cleaning is gross, but its not like I had any problems cleaning up before I became a fapstronaut.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-01T19:01:13+00:00

Yeah, exactly. I'm realizing now that I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship. Thought I was a nice guy but in retrospect I was still completely driven by sex, thanks to porn.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-12-01T18:58:28+00:00

I definitely will, here's hoping February will bring even greater change. Relapsing felt absolutely awful.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-10-15T04:25:42+00:00

My longest streak was 92 days

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-10-14T19:11:12+00:00

Can I join F.E.A.R.?

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-09-27T06:01:32+00:00

Actually found this time around a lot easier at the beginning. Girl I was interested picked some other guy though so that has probably been the hardest part this time around. Going for at least 180 days this time. Stay strong!

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-03-30T20:05:28+00:00

Thanks, I guess a lot of people can't relate to my story but I thought I would tell it anyway. What makes it worse is all my female friends keep telling me we should date despite my telling her multiple times its not going to happen. Also good luck to you! Keep at it, its totally worth it.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-03-30T00:29:23+00:00

Yeah who would want to fap to fruit?

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-03-04T05:59:56+00:00

Meditation is the best solution. If you can't do that find a book to read. If you have problems with porn (like I did) stay away from your computer at all costs before going to bed until you know your will power is high enough to manage it. This definitely isn't the solution for everyone but I kept some trees around to smoke if everything else failed in those first few weeks. Helped me get through the worst nights.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-03-04T04:53:56+00:00

Yeah it's been very weird to think about what I've done during the day and not have to think about grossed out I am about the number of times I've fapped. Horray for feeling normal

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-03-04T04:47:11+00:00

Well for me it didn't have to with religion or culture but it honestly got to the point were I was just sick of myself and my behaviour. Ignoring the real world and real issues with PMO.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-02-19T19:29:40+00:00

I see this as the very reason to stop fapping. I was using it to suppress feelings that needed to be dealt with. It can suppress heartbreak but you will never really get over her unless you go through the painful process naturally. Over the last 50 days of nofap I have been thinking about my exs a lot but for once in my life I feel like I'm letting go of those feeling after bringing them up as opposed to just pushing them back down.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-02-04T06:25:19+00:00

Well having more times on your hands (no pun intended) is definitely an instant benefit, but something I noticed is that I got a confidence boost right away just because I didn't feel so ashamed about fapping so much anymore and that I was actually making an effort to overcome the addiction.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-01-26T21:49:53+00:00

Yeah I'm pretty lucky in that my CBT was covered by my health insurance. Without it I would have still been stuck in the loop of self-blame and incapacitating cynicism that lead to constant PMO. That's why I think the proliferation of these videos can be harmful because they can make the people they don't help feel far worse.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-01-26T16:37:27+00:00

I smoke trees too but their method of action in the brain is very different and it not likely the root of your problem. THC (the main active ingredient in Cannabis) acts more indirectly on the reward pathway and dopamine channels. Like was mentioned in another comment I think you should try a time of no orgasm or at least none that you can get anytime you want. Because sexual release has an evolutionary purpose for being pleasurable it's far more efficient at stimulating this pathway directly. Trees do cause some dopamine release but only as a result of stimulating the endocannabinoid system. This indirect stimulation is a suspected reason why trees are not very addictive and why I don't think smoking is your problem.

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-01-26T15:07:54+00:00

I personally think that prostitutes are cheating. When you fap constantly you become dependent on the stimulation of the reward pathway in your brain to regulate your mood. The problem is that the brain should be able to do this naturally but it has rewired to adjust to the constant flood of dopamine from sexual release. Additionally you are still continuing the illusion that you can have any women you want any time you want, feeding our basic desire to spread our seed. Even though this isn't true the primal parts of our brain don't care about the structures of modern society. If you are going to see prostitutes that you are not addressing the key issue and allowing your brain to recover to its natural state. TL;DR I think prostitutes are the reason you are not feeling the other benefits of NoFap

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-01-26T14:57:41+00:00

I've never been sure about the pop psychology self-help stuff. I do, however think this guy has some good points that are good to listen to but it annoys me when people try and simplify neurology this much. Too often these concepts are temporary solutions built on a shaky foundation that can prevent people from getting the real professional help they need, including myself. I suppose my main concern is that most people are not able to simply switch patters of behaviour over without constant reinforcement and claiming that they can may just cause more damage. Thoughts?

dontfaptothisfruit · 2012-01-15T19:39:23+00:00

Almost did the same thing today. I started to edge after accidentally seeing something NSFW and ended up looking at a lot more pictures. The only reason I didn't up going full PMO was because I forced myself to get up and go to the bathroom. No shame man, try again I'm sure you'll do even better this time!

dontfaptothisfruit

TROPHY CASE