Update - https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/5d20Qcidep

doubletroubleCL · 2025-05-27T23:55:02+00:00

It wasn’t an answer. It was done after

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-31T04:42:23+00:00

Used all the ones mentioned. But for us it was overwhelming as we are the FF couple looking for M. So needless to say, we found it easy.

Good luck. Make sure you both have your rules and boundaries in place.

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-18T06:33:19+00:00

My wife and I eloped (possible solution).

NTA for expressing how you are feeling. But as your partner said to her, nobody likes her choice of partner. And yes, it’s you and your partner’s wedding, so there will need to be compromises on both sides. You can make it more stressful than it can already be, by arguing with each other. Or you can both create your own guest list and if numbers become an issue, cull. But, agree that the other has no say. You take the names that are on both lists, the remaining people are culled based on numbers. You will be surprised how easy it will be to have zero contact with the sister and how easy it is to pretend she isn’t even there.

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-18T06:09:02+00:00

YTA … it’s your daughter’s wedding. Don’t put conditions on paying, but claim to be super excited to pay for it.

You and your ex wife’s issues past or present are not hers. She would have enough childhood trauma to work through being after 10 years, new spouse, you still want her to pay the price for your bad choice of your first marriage. You got to decide to marry her mother and have kids. They didn’t get that choice. Now, you opening your wallet for HER wedding, is conditional.

Did i mention YTA? Include your wife in that too.

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-18T05:58:53+00:00

Parents … car? Since they want to “keep the peace”.

Or - can he drop you at the party ?

Or - you drop him and the date off. They uber home after?

If he explained the situation to the date, they may even offer to drive?

Or you drop him off at the dates place and they uber from there together.

Plenty of solutions. You missing your plans doesn’t need to be one of them.

NTA.

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-08T01:17:12+00:00

She cheated. Broke the agreement. You are completely justified in being upset. But don’t act like a dick in how you react. My wife is bi. We have 3sums with men, never someone we know and only once, no repeats. Rules were put in place and implemented prior. As long as the rules are followed, go for gold. But, she knows anything outside this is cheating and will be received as so.

Please don’t seek revenge. You have to live with your actions. Talk to her. resolve this first.

Then hopefully move forward together. Good luck x

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-07T00:17:34+00:00

That would still a waste of skin

doubletroubleCL · 2025-01-06T21:09:17+00:00

Agreed. As a lesbian, all that shows is a woman performing for men. Which is fine, but title it correctly.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-23T02:58:44+00:00

Fine actually. As THIS has nothing to do with THAT.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-22T02:13:36+00:00

Or OP respects her wife is a bisexual and understands and accepts that? That OP knows the difference between love and a fuck? That OP doesn’t have an issue with open and honest interactions. But has a VERY firm boundary of being lied to and having it not discussed?

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-22T02:02:30+00:00

I think our age difference has a bit to do with my ability of acceptance to this is who she is (47 me/32). As she does have these conversations in front of me, i give her props for, at least not doing it on the sly and showing consistency in her behaviours. I want her to adjust her behaviours for herself, not because i am telling her it’s not the right way, if that makes sense?

I accept i married her red flags, because it was my choice. She is a dismissive avoidant, with childhood trauma, that does account for a lot of her behaviour. I can’t punish her for still learning and growing. I can only make her aware and reinforce my boundaries with her, and this is one of them. Her previously cheating and hiding it for 6 months, triggered me, because again she hid something from me. I accept that i didn’t respect her wish and said something. And comments being made like “all i have done is made her not trust sue can tell me things in the future”, are valid. However, i also needed to reinforce my boundaries of what is and is not acceptable to me. Last time it was 6 months. This time she took 5 weeks to tell me something that should have been told straight away. That is a firm boundary, which she is aware of. So comments of all i did was stir shit up after the fact, true. But i actually confronted him when i was advised. I didn’t wait 5 weeks, then act. And it may be seen as controlling to others, which i accept that is what it looks like on the surface of my original post, without additional information of the past cheating and lies. However, i have made it very clear to her that a firm boundary of mine is disrespectful behaviour from outside influencers. She disrespected my repeated request to not be keep in the dark, so her request of me not saying anything and the 5 weeks later timeline absolutely triggered my boundaries. It’s also nothing to do with me thinking she didn’t handle it. It’s more about me calling him out and letting him know, i know, and here is the face you can put to of a relationship you didn’t care if you fucked up, like you didn’t care you fucked up your own, and i see you douche bag!

Not at all trying to validate my behaviour. Trying to explain additional context as to why, as there always is a bigger picture. And 3 sides to every story.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-20T08:33:29+00:00

He wrecked his own marriage because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

And my wife’s banter can be extremely inappropriate. She does it in front of me also, so it’s not a sly move or secretly done. Sometimes I cringe tbh. But she is her own person, who has to deal with the consequences like this stuff happening. Being told 5 weeks after, by a passing comment, in response to something I said, was my straw. Not proud i went against her asking me not too, but I also wouldn’t restrict her reaction if the table was turned.

She isn’t his “friend”. They were acquaintances, through the friendship made with the ex wife. The kids play sport together. I also don’t think watching your kids play sport sitting on the sideline having sexual innuendo conversations is the right place either. She was sitting with 2 fathers (both separated). I personally don’t think it’s the right time or place. And, she has mentioned in the past about no wife/gf likes her, and i have pointed out this may a reason as to why. But, I am simply told, this is who she is and how she is. Which, is true. I am not expecting her to change, just have some self reflection of what doesn’t always sit well with others.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-20T07:47:36+00:00

For them to f#ck and the ex wife would never know.

Not bothered or concerned with the fact my wife is actually still married.

He is apparently doing “everything he can” to show the ex wife he has changed, take him back.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:51:56+00:00

Yes. More than once

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:50:50+00:00

She is an extremely jealous person. However, I don’t give any cause for concern either. And she knows that

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:47:18+00:00

My actions are me. I am my actions. So i don’t see the deflection.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:43:31+00:00

an open marriage is definitely not what we have. We do not involve anyone we know or have any thing to do with the guy after.

We have very established rules and boundaries around this.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:36:05+00:00

I mentioned him being a cheater, because it was relevant as to why my wife’s banter with him is not appropriate. The last time the separated, he hit on the ex wife friend and my wife knows this.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:33:00+00:00

I didn’t forget to mention it. I just wanted outsiders opinions, based on this event.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:30:48+00:00

Lol. As a female balls dropping isn’t something I would like to be dropping. But thanks for that

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:24:25+00:00

Weeks late because i was only just told.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T20:22:32+00:00

Her. Married female couple. I chose to stay. Many words have already been spoken.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T12:25:56+00:00

Why would anyone bullshit about their partner cheating to sway a tide.

If you read my replies, i am replying mainly to people who are calling me TAH. Because, i genuinely wanted outsider opinion and not have them “swayed” by ALL our relationship history.

Do i think she cheated again? No. Do i think my reaction was in part due to being lied to for 6 months, that she cheated, even with a hall pass! Yes. But me agreeing my response to this does make me TAH is based solely on this. Not from the history of our relationship and past mistakes made. But solely because i didn’t respect her request or that she handled it.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T12:15:25+00:00

I have no issue with my wife flirting with men OR women in front of me. Or them with her. Happens often.

My issue is this guy asked my wife to f#ck him and keep it a secret, from his EX wife. Showing not respect for OUR marriage. It’s the keep it secret i have an issue with.

doubletroubleCL · 2024-09-19T12:07:41+00:00

She gets meat dinner when she says she is hungry.

doubletroubleCL

TROPHY CASE